c Page 8054 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Today In The Premiership...
• Everton 3-0 Liverpool. Now that is how you embarrass a rival team. The Toffees served up an ass-beating to their neighbors, with Tim Cahill putting Everton on the board in the 23rd minute, and Andrew Johnson finishing Liverpool off with goals in the 35th and the 90th. Everton finds themselves at t...

Hugh Johnson Project, Update 1: Kicking Will When He's Down
WVU's Steve Slaton has 105 yards rushing with 6:35 to play in the first quarter....

Watching NASCAR Kills Six People Per Weekend, And No, It's Not Of Boredom
The Fire Department of New York came out with this neat little statistic yesterday: On average, six people die per weekend at a NASCAR race event. Six people per weekend! Six people DIE, on AVERAGE. What the hell goes on at these things? Do they let Ted Kennedy drive one of the cars? Are there ritua...

Don't Worry, The Lojack Will Not Affect His 40 Time
Interesting story in yesterday's Washington Post about a high school football player in Maryland. The young fellow's name is Pat Lazear, and there's a lot on his resume: 6'2", 225, 4.6 seconds in the 40, he starts at linebacker, running back, and punter, and oh yeah, he's facing armed robbery charge...

For Your Saturday Afternoon Viewing Pleasure...
The Hugh Johnson Project will be in full effect again today. If you're watching college football, and you've got some observations that might interest the rest of the Deadspin population, send them via AOL Instant Messenger to "Deadspin Football."...

About Last Night...
• MLB: Phillies 3, Marlins 2. Numbers 55 and 56 for Ryan Howard, who is personally making this a very enjoyable fantasy baseball season for me. • Tennis: Maria Sharapova def. Amelie Mauresmo, 6-0, 4-6, 6-0. I'm pretty sure Mauresmo would win in a fistfight, though. • Golf: Michelle Wie misses cut at...

Week In Deadspin: Bronzed Leather
• Presenting the inaugural class of the Deadspin Hall Of Fame. • You know, Dave Thomas used to do this all the time. • Bert Blyleven is f—-ing up that f—-ing thing. • Who will Bill Simmons put on notice? • Goodbye, croc hunter man. • Heath Shuler could actually be a winner. • This is how you comme...

To Watch Tonight
What to watch as you remain stunned that they don't sell booze inside Rutgers Stadium ... • Basketball: Hall of Fame Induction Ceremony, at Springfield, Mass. (May be joined in progress if "Stump The Schwab" runs long). [ESPN Classic] • College football: Pittsburgh at Cincinnati. It's in Ohio, so wh...

The World's Smartest Athletes
So let's say, hypothetically, that someone were to walk up to you right now — or, say, type something you might be happening to read on their sports blog — and say that there was a sport whose players are, consistently, across the board, not just more intelligent than other sports' players, but in f...

Leftovers: Turkey Baseball
• We honestly cannot believe it took people this long to come up with turkey baseball. [Baseball Think Factory] • Brian Billick would like you to help him spy on his players. [The Fanhouse] • Waving Terrible Towels as a mayor's funeral procession comes by seems entirely appropriate to us, why? [The ...

Get Thee To A Newsstand (Or SI.com, At Least)
Though we grew up thinking he was the the best sportswriter on the planet — and one of our favorite journalists anywhere — we'll confess souring somewhat on Sports Illustrated scribe Gary Smith in recent years. His writing was still top-notch, but it was beginning to become repetitive. He'd either w...

Cultural Oddsmaker: Which Fantasy Expert Will Score First?
A.J. Daulerio's Cultural Oddsmaker runs ever Friday. Email him to let him know what you think....

Don't Come Kicking In Our Homeroom Door 'Cause Of Something We Didn't Do
Throw one at us if you want, hash head. We've got all five senses and we slept last night ... that puts me us up on the lot of you....

Boxing's Death Knell Finally Arrives
Well, now boxing has officially gone to hell. Blogger Mark Evanier was excited to learn recently that Mattel is bringing back Rock 'em Sock 'em Robots, the toy originally produced by Marx which he never had the chance to own as a child. Excited, that is, until he was flooded by e-mails from readers ...

Blogdome: Everything's Better With Tecmo
• A week 1 NFL preview ... using Tecmo Bowl! [The Ex-Burgher] • For 40 minutes, Kevin Kouzmanoff was a baseball god. [High And Inside] • Keith Hernandez ... "out in the wilderness." [Off Color Commentator] • Hangin' out with the Football Outsiders dude, yo. [Sportszilla] • This day in history, in bl...

Wheels Of Justice Grind Slowly For Clarett
The Maurice Clarett story, with its deep debts and Israel mobs and Grey Goose, has almost become too sad for us to take much joy in goofing on it anymore, though we're still always going to be a little tickled by the fact that he had a hatchet....

Mark Cuban Explains It All
Why can't the U.S. basketball team seem to win in international competition anymore? Leave it to Mark Cuban to unravel this mystery. It may shock you to learn that Cuban lays the blame directly on those damn pyramid-shaped lanes. Oh, and the international ball. And the way the referees are dressed. ...

Obviously, The Breasts Are Sold Separately
As has been pointed out by Fark and a few other places, it appears that the famous dress worn by Jose Lima's somewhat heavily busomed wife when he sang the national anthem a few years ago — she was actually cropped out of accompanying photo by MLB.com, but we bring her back because we are all abou...

We Have To Ask ...
Suggested questions for today's ESPN SportsNation chatters ... • 2 p.m. Boxing with Dan Rafael: Who was your toughest opponent, Red Rocker or Blue Bomber? • 3 p.m. FB Injuries with Will Carroll: Who do you think will ... ow! My spine! • 3 p.m. Musician Robert Randolph: What's more prestigous, playin...

At Least He Didn't Biggie Size
So there are some new details about our new favorite assistant coach, the Lions' Joe Cullen, concerning his arrest for driving in the nude....