carl-monday - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
The Secret Connection Between Box Scores And Sex Work
Yes, I used to work at that dirty site where posts about handjobs and "back door girls" meant a slow news day, but I've also seen plenty of Carl Mondays try to make people feel bad about their special urges. So perhaps I have a different appreciation for what WGN morning sports anchor Pat Tomasulo i...
Well, They're Back To Square One With The Old Folks Home Flasher Case
Former sprint champion Mark Walcott was cleared on Thursday of charges that he exposed himself five times at two old folks homes in Britain, but at what cost? During the trial it was revealed that Walcott was having affairs with two women at the same time, both of whom were hauled into court to prov...
Ashley Todd Is Your New Mike Cooper
This is Ashley Todd. Ashley recently made some news when she was was mugged near at ATM by "a dark-skinned black man" who, after finding out she supported John McCain, carved a "B" on her face for some kind of pro-Obama viral ad campaign. However, the cops got kind of suspicious when they saw the B...
Week In Review: What's the Frequency, Carl Monday?
Here's a photo Carl Monday submitted from commenter "That Just Happened" when the jack-happy roving reporter attended the ribbon cutting ceremony of Cleveland''s RTA HealthLine, which is a big fancy bus. Public transportation frotteurists in Cleveland should reconsider using this line to satisfy the...
Remembering The Great Carl Monday
Anyone who just came across this site in the last two years might know about the genius that is Carl Monday. With our last week upon us, we felt it was the least we could do to reintroduce you all....
Stanley Pringle: Jackin' It
You know, it's really annoying when athletes-masturbating-in-libraries stories break in the evening and we have to wait until morning to write about them. If we can't be your leader in library masturbation coverage, we're not sure what our point is....
Red Sox Scout Endures The Long Nights On The Road In The Wrong Way
The life of a baseball scout is a lonely one. Endless nights on the road, waves of parents pestering you that their son is some undiscovered gem, the ankle-sniping from all those sabermetric folks who have made the last few years among your least satisfying, professionally speaking. Yep, it's lonely...
It Is Time, Once Again, To Wank For A Cause
It's the news you dared not hope was true: Nearly 10 years after it was introduced in San Francisco, the Masturbate-A-Thon is making its triumphant return. To The Netherlands! What took you so long, Dutch people? (Carl Monday dons raincoat, sounds the Action 4 News Team alert). Oh, like you had anyt...
The Grand Valley State Mascot Really Loves His Job
OK, I’ve checked the rulebook, and nowhere in there does it say that you can’t hump the goalpost after your team has achieved an important first down. This round goes to you, Grand Valley State mascot. But someday your reign of Div. II goal post-sexual assault will end. Mark my words. ...
Evildoers, Beware!
Guess who's back, folks ... GUESS WHO'S BACK?!...
They Nominated Carl Monday For Another Emmy .. For THAT Story!
When we stumbled across the infamous Carl Monday / Mike Cooper / library masturbation story more than a year ago, we were stunned when we learned that the Deadspin Hall of Famer had, in fact, won several Emmys. Could this be right? Was the library story just a rare misstep in a career of legitimate ...
Carl Monday: The Early Years
Ever wonder what drives crusading field journalist Carl Monday? He didn't just pursue the Mike Cooper library case out of thin air; there had to be an underlying force, some childhood trauma, perhaps, which would cause him in later life to obsess over a perfectly ordinary human function. We wonder w...