carlos Page 21 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Giancarlo Stanton Is Back, Sort Of
Just over three weeks ago, the Marlins announced that Giancarlo Stanton would be out for at least six weeks, and most likely the rest of the MLB season, with a Grade 3 groin strain (a strain is classified as a Grade 3 if muscles are torn). When the Marlins made that announcement, they were tied with...
Report: Anthony Weiner Has Once Again Sent The Grossest Possible Sexts And Dong Pics
Former New York congressman Anthony Weiner, the powdered remnant of a pack of expired herbal boner pills found on a bodega shelf, has once again been busy sending pictures of his tighty-whitey-clad dick to a Twitter user, according to a new report from the New York Post, a reliable source of informa...
Make Good Life Choices, Carlos Beltrán
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Dodgers Trade A.J. Ellis For Carlos Ruiz, Devastating Clayton Kershaw
In a baffling move, the Los Angeles Dodgers traded away Clayton Kershaw’s personal catcher, A.J. Ellis (as well as a pitching prospect and player to be named later), in exchange for Carlos Ruiz of the Philadelphia Phillies....
The Cardinals Lost Their 52nd Game
The lowly Atlanta Braves earned their 40th win of the season Saturday as they drubbed the St. Louis Cardinals, 13-5....
Giancarlo Stanton Just Jerked The Mightiest Dong Of The Season
Are you sitting down? Okay....
Your MLB Trade Fucking Deadline Roundup
The MLB trade deadline has come and gone, and although news of more deals could trickle in over the next few hours, I think it’s safe to say that the hot fucking stove was only moderately hot today. Look, my hand is on the stove right now. It’s right there on the burner. What do I feel? It’s not col...
Giancarlo Stanton Stroked Some Mighty Dongs
Giancarlo Stanton, the finest masher of taters in baseball, won the home run derby last night with a record 61 total home runs. He hit 18 of the 19 longest homers of the evening, and his 61 dingers traveled a total of 5.1 miles....
Giancarlo Stanton Shames Heckling Fan With His Mighty Swing
Giancarlo Stanton went on a two-day dinger spree that gave us four beautiful homers to ogle. It also gave us a very good video from the seats at the Mets’ stadium, which boasts some of the best comedic timing I’ve ever seen....
Giancarlo Stanton Is Out To Destroy Every Baseball In New York
Last night against the Mets, Marlins slugger Giancarlo Stanton used his last two at-bats of the game to deliver us the gift of two perfectly mashed, picturesque taters. The Marlins played the Mets again this afternoon, and Stanton slapped two more gasp-inducing dingers in his first two at-bats of th...
Giancarlo Stanton Has All The Dingers You Need
How do you like your dingers? Do you like watching the strong man with a bat drive a low hard one that just clears the fence and puts a dang dent in the stadium? Or do you prefer it when the slugger bonks a dong so high into the night sky that it threatens to make contact with alien life? Whatever y...
Giancarlo Stanton Is Still Here Killing People With Strong Home Runs<em></em>
“Giancarlo Stanton, what did that baseball do to you?” muses the Marlins’ color commentator. And, well, given the way the baseball was treated—namely, donged so hard you don’t have time to even think Hey wait I thought he was struggling this year? before it gets out of the park—here are some possibi...
Well, At Least Giancarlo Stanton Can Still Hit The Life Out Of A Baseball
Giancarlo Stanton’s season has been something of a nightmare. He’s hitting just .197, slugging .426, and his strikeout rate is an astronomically high 35 percent. He recently went through a stretch in which he struck out 17 times in 21 at-bats. It’s been a bad season, okay? It’s bad. Stanton does sti...
Giancarlo Stanton Murdered A Baseball
The only thing more shocking than how far Giancarlo Stanton hit this baseball is that it somehow didn’t explode immediately upon contact with the bat. The MLB Statcast-measured numbers: 475 feet, 112.8 mph exit velocity, and 5.5 seconds of hangtime:...
Carlos Gomez Calls Out Columnist For Quoting Him Poorly
On Wednesday, the Houston Chronicle’s Brian T. Smith wrote a column about Astros outfielder Carlos Gomez’s slow start to the season. Aside from curiously singling out Gomez—rather than, say, the struggling pitching staff (Ken Giles has a 9.26 ERA!)—as a big reason the Astros are stumbling early in t...
Argentine Soccer Coach Mimics Eating Banana In Racist Gesture Aimed At Brazilian Fans
We’re used to seeing soccer players and fans act despicably, but it’s pretty rare for a coach to jump into the fray of depressingly common shitheadery. Defying this trend is Juan Carlos Gambandé, the goalkeepers’ coach at Argentina’s Racing Club, being a racist asshole at the expense of some Brazili...
Giancarlo Stanton Dinger Sends Clayton Kershaw To His Knees
Clayton Kershaw made Giancarlo Stanton swing and miss with a nasty little curve in the fourth inning to get his seventh strikeout of the evening. Two innings later, Stanton faced Kershaw again and smacked a fastball to the moon so hard that the Dodgers ace fell to his knees on the mound....
Carlos Gomez Gets Into A Fight With The Left Field Wall
Don’t mess with Carlos Gomez. Oh, you’re some kind of tough wall, who thinks you’ll get out of it just because this is Gomez’s home park?...
Carlos Correa Slapped A Massive Donger
While maybe not as visually impressive as Giancarlo Stanton’s Mars shot, because dead center at Yankee Stadium is a long long way away, Carlos Correa’s home run last night in last night’s 16-6 loss was the most impressive of the young season....