Carolina Panthers Page 24 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Maurice Drew Hates Your Nerd Ass Too
We received this photo of former-UCLA, now-Jacksonville running back Maurice Drew a while back, and we decided not to run it, mainly because it's hard to blame a guy when someone decides to take a picture of a guy holding a blunt next to him while sleeping. Besides, that fellow looks like a really f...
It's So Hard To Say Goodbye To Yesterday
It is tragic when the grandest of epics end with a whimper, but, alas, when we are blessed with the sublime, it is best not to madden one's self with laments of an ultimately unsatisfying climax....
The Whole SYSTEM Is Out Of Order!
Oh, how nice it is to take a trip to the halcyon days of yesteryear, to revisit — again ... and again ... and again — our old friends Renee Thomas and Angela Keathley, the Carolina Panthers lesbian cheerleaders. (Honestly, it's so warm having them back in the news again, like going back and visiti...
NFL Playoff Roundup: One Big Idiot Kicker
• Ordinarily, we come down on the side of kickers, if just because we have much more of a physical resemblance to them than 350-pound ogre lineman. But it's pretty much impossible to feel much sympathy for Colts gakker Mike Vanderjagt, whose missed field goal yesterday was somehow the perfect endi...
Panthers vs. Bears - 4th Quarter
• Fullback Jason McKie gets the Bears into the endzone to make it a 2-point game. I'll be honest, I wasn't expecting this game to be able to hold a candle to the earlier game, but it's been outstanding. The Bears are going to need to come up with a stop, though....
Panthers vs. Bears - 3rd Quarter
• If the Bears want to win, two things have to happen. 1) Rex Grossman has to remain competent, and 2) the defense has got to make some adjustments. Giving up 290 yards in a half isn't going to cut it....
Panthers vs. Bears - 2nd Quarter
• John Kasay converts, and makes it 10-0 Carolina. I know it's early, but the Bears are not the Colts. 10 points is a huge hole for them....
Panthers vs. Bears - 1st Quarter
• Well, that didn't take long. Steve Smith gets loose in the secondary and the Panthers are on the board. It's 7-0 before a minute is gone....
Playoff Pants Party! Carolina Panthers at Chicago Bears
Hey, look it's 2001 all over again in Chicago! Long live Shane Matthews! Sunday's Carolina Panthers at Chicago Bears game could very well prove to be the offensive shoot-out we're all anticipating. We're predicting about 850 yards of offense between these two teams. With these two offensive flame t...
NFL Playoff Roundup: Riiiiipppppp!
• Honestly, we know this was covered all weekend, but man, that Carson Palmer thing was the worst playoff moment we can remember. We think Buzzsaw That Is The Arizona Cardinals have it tough; Bengals fans finally get in the playoffs, and two plays in, their Pro Bowl QB tears an ACL and MCL. (Quest...
Panthers vs. Giants - 4th Quarter
• If Ken Lucas and Marlon McCree played for the Giants, Eli Manning would be on fire. Unfortunately for Eli, however, they are Panthers. McCree did do the Giants a favor, though, and run about 20 yards backwards after the interception. But that probably just means DeShaun Foster has more yardage ...
Panthers vs. Giants - 3rd Quarter
• The Giants brought out Lawrence Taylor to be honored at halftime. This could provide some inspiration for the G-Men. Particularly if LT brought his pipe with him....
Panthers vs. Giants - 2nd Quarter
• After Carolina continued to gash the Giants up the middle with the run, Steve Smith got open over the middle for a touchdown. 7-0 Carolina. He followed it up with a snow angel in the endzone, and the any signifigance or entertainment value is lost on me....
Panthers vs. Giants - 1st Quarter
• The first half of the first quarter is timid and uneventful, but Carolina's settled into a little bit of a groove, moving the ball with relative ease. DeShaun Foster is gashing them a little bit, and Steve Smith is picking up yards on little bubble screens....
Playoff Pants Party: Panthers Vs. Giants
We think Tom Coughlin freaks us out a little bit. In our nightmares, when we've done something vaguely wrong that we don't understand but know that it was terrible, Coughlin's the type of guy who shows up in our dreams, screaming at us, like the drill sergeant gym teacher in "Beavis & Butthead." ...
Clearing The 1 o'clock Table...
• San Diego 7, Kansas City 20. So, what did you use for pregame motivation, Marty, the tape of Jim Mora screaming, "PLAYOFFS? PLAYOFFS?!" I feel much pain. • Buffalo 37, Cincinnati 27. Rough day for Chad Johnson. First, someone stole his reindeer (I HATE YOU, whoever it was), and then, they lose to ...
Tuna About To Spoil?
ESPN's Chris Mortensen reported this morning that Cowboys head coach Bill Parcells is considering retiring at the conclusion of this year. Cowboys owner Jerry Jones is pushing him to sign an extension, but the death of Parcells' brother a few weeks ago has him thinking retirement, according to Mor...
Those Amazing Panthers Twins
Well, you know, all football players look alike anyway....
The Face Of Lesbian Cheerleader Terror
All right, thanks to Gambling911.com (now that Oddjack's gone, there are all kinds of sites we're gonna have to keep an eye on), we have a picture of Melissa Holden, the woman punched by Carolina Panthers cheerleader Renee Thomas after Holden interrupted Thomas' and Angela Keathley's Commode Copul...
The Lady The Lesbian Cheerleader Punched
Anybody still care about the Carolina Panthers lesbian cheerleaders? Anyone? Jeez, all right, all right, not all at once, people, settle down, sheesh....