cc Page 302 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Cop Trips High School Kids Rushing Field To Celebrate State Title Win
At the eight second mark of this video, you can see a dude in pink shorts and a visor in the lower right corner go sprawling to the ground. He was clearly tripped and when he turned around he saw Georgetown police officer George Bermudez staring down at him. ...

MLS Expands To Atlanta, Because The Quality Of Play Was Just Too High
Major League Soccer boosters are always going on (and on) about how much the league is growing, and whether or not there's anything to the more outrageous claims about the league's popularity, they have a point in at least one sense: the league is definitely getting larger. Last week, for instance, ...

Reports: David Moyes To Be Sacked Any Day Now; A Gallery Of Moyesface
Oh, Moyesy. It appears our season of schadenfreude will soon be coming to a premature end, with reports practically everywhere saying "The Chosen One" is about to become "The Sacked One."...

Ex-MLS Defender Robbie Russell Struggles Mightily During NBCSN Debut
Robbie Russell joined NBCSN's MLS coverage today and it got off to a pretty horrible start. Russell is providing color commentary for the New England Revolution-Chicago Fire match and had a couple of massive brain farts during the introductory segment. ...

That World Cup Trophy You Bought In Chinatown Might Be Fake
Counterfeiting the World Cup trophy seems kind of pointless. A Cup-winning team receives only a single gold-plated replica. It's not as if anyone's going to believe that you, Joe Soccer Fan, have one of these lying around the house to impress company. Yet thousands of counterfeit trophies ready for ...

The <em>New York Times</em> Turns Soccer Fandom Into A Trend
Goddammit. You just want to enjoy a perfectly fine sport, and here comes the Times' style section, bent on fetishizing pseudo-intellectual soccer fandom to the point where you're forced to reconsider your choice of fellow travelers. Read this and recoil....

Gareth Bale Is The Fastest Man Alive, Scores Late To Win Copa del Rey
The final el clásico of the year. A one-off match for the Copa del Rey trophy. A trophy-starved Barça's last legitimate shot for silverware. Star man Cristiano Ronaldo out with an injury. And in the middle of all this, newcomer Gareth Bale decided he'd just outrun everyone. ...

Atlanta Burned Again
Later on today, MLS will officially announce Atlanta as its latest expansion franchise. Massive City FFC, a Columbus Crew supporters group, did not wait to extend a friendly welcome, with the help of Ohio's native son, General William Tecumseh Sherman:...

It Sucks Being A Catcher, Part 437
After a deflected pitch clipped him on his throwing hand, Yankee catcher Brian McCann's fingers appeared to briefly transform into some kind of horrible jellyfish:...

Andres Iniesta Unwillingly Hugged By Small Barça Fan During Interview
Barcelona's Andres Iniesta was the recipient of an unwanted hug by a little fan—who managed to get on the pitch—in the middle of his interview after his side lost 1-0 to Granada. What the hell?...

If You Want To Be A Pro Soccer Player, It Helps To Be Born In January
You've probably heard the Malcolm Gladwell spiel about Canadian hockey players—namely, that a massive number of them are born in January. As it turns out, this isn't just a hockey thing. Scraping birthdays from transfermarkt.de, David Bauer has found a very similar effect among professional soccer p...

This Soccer Star Is <em>Probably</em> Not A Jihadist Fighting In Syria
Yesterday, the Daily Mail published a piece about former Arsenal and Real Madrid star Lassana Diarra. The 29-year-old French international is under contract at Russian side Lokomotiv Moscow, but rumors abound that Lass moonlights as a warrior for Islam. ...

Atlético Madrid Beat Barça In Champions League, Dream Season Continues
It's all fun and games cheering on plucky upstarts Atlético Madrid, right up until the point they tear out your heart and play keepy-uppy with it. So excuse me if I'm not appropriately excited about Atlético's thoroughly deserved and enjoyable-for-neutrals 1-0 Champions League win over Barcelona....

Typical José: Chelsea's Champions League Win Was Right On Schedule
José Mourinho's teams are some goddamn cockroaches, man. Just when you think you've got them squashed, their viscous innards seeping from their corrugated underbelly—as PSG could've justifiably believed, leading Chelsea 3-1 after the first leg of their Champions League tie—they somehow keep right on...

Hey Look, Real Madrid Might Choke The Champions League Away
Last week, Real Madrid played German side Borussia Dortmund in the first leg of their Champions League quarterfinal. The result was a smackdown, and Madrid beat Dortmund 3-0 to more or less lay this tie to rest. Right? Nah....

Israeli Basketball Is Kind Of Insane
This is what happened at the close of last night's chapter of Israel's biggest rivalry, Maccabi Tel Aviv and Hapoel Tel Aviv. After a close away win for Maccabi, center Sofoklis Schortsanitis—a former Clippers draft pick—charged into a hostile crowd to try to beat up a Hapoel fan. You can see the fa...

All Hail The Bitchiest Of Bitchy Fanboys
All precincts have now reported and we can, at long last, crown a champion in our Bitchy Bracket tournament. Despite a strong tourney run, the anti-vaccination wingnuts fell yesterday to the overwhelming defensiveness of conservative Christians. Please note that I included many liberal factions in...

Brazilian Soccer Match Devolves Into Flying-Kickpalooza
This is just a brief clip of a game played in Brazil on Sunday. There are approximately 157 attempted flying kicks....

Conservative Christians Vs. Anti-Vaxxers: Who’s The Bitchiest?
At long last, we have reached the final of our Bitchy Bracket bonanza, and it's a doozy. After seeing Red Sox Nation and Team Breezy and gun nuts and vegans and Beliebers and many other strong candidates fall, we are left with two of the most screeching factions of American society to duke it out....

And So It Comes To This: The Bitchy Final Four
We've been slogging through the Bitchy Bracket for two weeks now, and at last we've come to our Final Four of thin-skinned, defensive, repulsive fanboys. And what a Final Four it is! We've got a 1-seed, a 2-seed, a rampaging 4-seed peaking at the right time, and we have a Cinderella story in the 8t...