cc Page 440 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Return Of the Deadspin Pub
The pub reopens on the heels of Jozy Altidore's inspired Premier League debut in the season's second weekend. Read on for yesterday's results and today's featured match, the West London derby between Chelsea and Fulham....
Buccaneers' Aqib Talib Jumps On The Arrest Bandwagon
Is all this terrible legal trouble dissuading NFL players from punching people in the head? Not Tampa's Aqib Talib! Busted last night for simple battery and resisting arrest. What would be considered "complicated battery?"...
Punching A Crippled Child Will Not Get Your Soccer Ball Back
A 23-year-old woman in a dispute over a soccer ball with a wheelchair-bound 13-year-old boy at a children's hospital, slugged him right in the medical halo that was screwed into his skull. That's at least a yellow card, right? [DMN]...
Why Your Team Sucks: Tampa Bay Buccaneers
Some people are fans of the Tampa Bay Buccaneers. But many, many more people are NOT fans of the Tampa Bay Buccaneers. This 2009 Deadspin NFL team preview is for those in the latter group....
Calipari: Be Nice to Pitino!
Sporting News Today reports (without any direct quotations) that John Calipari wants Kentucky basketball fans to refrain from picking on Rick Pitino when Louisville visits Rupp Arena....
Vick in Philly: Three Interpretations
Before he signed a contract, Michael Vick was just a fun little action figure for sports talkers to make pretend-play with in their living rooms....
Landon Donovan Has Swine Flu
And no, he didn't get it from being showered in urine and vomit by Mexican fans. But here's your excuse for yesterday's match result, Sam's Army. [FanNation]...
Deadspin Very Special Guest Editor Days Are Here Again
We're almost half-way through the sweltering dread-trap that is August, so it's time to hand over the captain's ascot to someone for a day. Spinheads, meet Tom Scocca. He will be hoisting up sloop Deadspin's sail for you tomorrow....
NBA Age Limit Continues To Destroy Amateur Hoops
Jeremy Tyler becomes the first American player to jump to an overseas pro team before finishing high school. He'll only make $150,000, but for an 18-year-old that's a lot of Slim Jims and PS3 games. [ESPN]...
Viewers Pissy Over Bathroom Scene Interrupting Soccer Highlights
BBC1 debuted their new Football League highlight programme this weekend, and new shows can have their share of glitches. But everything was going smoothly, audio and graphics were working perfectly, until...BAM! Blonde on a toilet!...
Rick Pitino Deemed Unworthy Of Samford Law School's Leadership Luncheon
Rick Pitino was supposed to appear at a leadership luncheon in September at Samford's Cumberland law school. Now it seems the priapic boy genius will not be darkening Samford's door, for some mysterious reason....
Your U.S.A. vs. Mexico Open Live Thread Thingy
Fire up, gringos! It's like the original Mexican-American War, only with less malaria. The winner gets to punch Lou Dobbs in the face; loser gets to keep Texas. Olé your brains out in comments....
Isn't Anyone Here Even Hard Of Hearing?
When Ghana sent a deaf soccer team to Australia, they neglected to actually send any deaf people. But it's not cheating, because the Aussies' deaf soccer team included only three hearing-impaired players!...
Newspaper Shoves Legally Blind, Much-Beloved Baseball Writer Into Retirement
Dayton Daily News pushes Hal McCoy out the door and next season will join everyone else in pretending the Reds don't exist. McCoy: "My miniature schnauzer, Barkley, is looking at me wondering why his old man is sniffling." [Real McCoy]...
If A Photo Of A Norwegian Black Metal Band Is On Deadspin, That Means Shit Is Seriously Messed Up
For real. This is the first snow day since I've been at Gawker, but the server problems are quite severe this time site-wide and it's making everyone's day miserable. So we're shutting it down for today....
Breaking: The World Is a Magical, Wonderful Place, and Bucco Bruce Is Back
This year the Tampa Bay Buccaneers will once again wear the most garish and weird shade of salmon/orange, and Orlando Bloom will again intimidate opponents from their ridiculous helmets. Feel the magic!...
Why Don't You Monsters Love David Beckham?
Lord David "Becks" "Posh Spice" "Footy" Beckhamtonshire, Third Earl of Harewood, moved to America to be our Michael Jordan of Soccer. But he failed. The Times asks: why don't Americans love people who do things only British people care about?...
American Sports Need More PowerPoint Presentations
Michael Owen—remember the "Michael Jordan of soccer" talk?—put together a 32-page brochure about his accomplishments and handsomeness to try and convince teams to give him a contract. Nothing says "dangerous goal scorer" quite like bar graphs! [DailyMirror/Decleater]...
Someone Forgot To Tell This Owner His Soccer Team Was Up For Sale On eBay
When the owner of an English soccer team wanted to sell the franchise, he turned to a US firm to set up the deal. When that firm wanted to locate a buyer, they turned to...eBay? *recordscratch.wav*...
Congress Ends Racism 90 Years Too Late
Both the House and Senate have passed a resolution pardoning former heavyweight champion Jack Johnson for doin' it with white chicks. In a related story, Jack Johnson is still dead. [ESPN]...