cc Page 441 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
World-Class Athlete Requires Liposuction To Stay Fit
Aging Brazilian legend Ronaldo went to the hospital for a broken wrist and had doctors throw a liposuction on the bill. How do you expect a guy to work out when he's busy playing all that soccer? [The Spoiler]...
David Beckham's Hecklers Not So Tough After All
David Beckham had another run-in with fans—with the notoriously nasty Kansas City soccer scene—but the where and why is not really important. What is important, is that fans need to do a better job managing their smack talk....
Rick Fox's Shirt Smell's Like Greedo's Taint Or Something
Got an image you'd like to see in here first thing in the morning? Send it to [email protected]. Subject: Morning crap...
Tall Car Salesman Poised To Become The "Curt Flood Of College Sports"
Ed O'Bannon, the former UCLA star now selling Camrys in the suburbs of Las Vegas, is the lead plaintiff in a long-awaited, much-welcomed class action suit that could sink a coup de grace through the NCAA's incoherent definition of amateurism....
Fan Who Charged Beckham Feels Wrath Of Home Depot
The L.A. Galaxy fan who leapt out of the stands to answer David Beckham's challenge may face a fate worth than jail or death—a lifetime ban from the Home Depot Center. Even for the Vans Warped Tour?...
When Sports Widows Get Stabby
In America, if you stay out too late at the sports bar, your wife makes you sleep on the couch. In Malaysia, she stabs you in the chest. [The Star]...
Small Child No Good At Sports, Cries; By The Way, He's In The Pros
Mauricio Baldivieso turns 13 tomorrow. As an early birthday present, his coach got him into the game for a first-division Bolivian soccer side. Did we mention the coach is his father?...
Beckham Experiment Descends Into Fear And Loathing, Lesson In The Subjectivity Of Perception
Beckham played his first home game back with the Galaxy yesterday, and things got ugly. Either a fan nearly attacked him (per the U.S. press), or he nearly attacked a fan (per the Brits). It's like Rashomon in shinguards!...
BK-Sponsored Soccer Kit Will Make You Cry
OK, it's pretty bad to watch Beckham jog around in his Galaxy Herbalife jersey. But things could be worse. They could be much, much worse....
Now We'll Take You Seriously, Lady Soccer
With the top 3 goalies injured or away on national team duty, WPS's Washington Freedom taps coach to play goalie. They win by shutout, of course. [WaPo]...
David Beckham Plays Soccer Like Your Dad
Becks was "often behind the play and seemed winded" in his return to the L.A. Galaxy last night, in front of 22,000 Giants Stadium fans. The last time L.A. played at New York, it was 40,000. [AP]...
Nancy Boys Play Like ... Well, Nancy Boys
Look, when you play for a soccer team from a town named Nancy, headlines like this are inevitable. (What editor could resist?) Especially when you run away from swine flu like a team of little girls. [ESPN]...
Road Beef Spreads Love, Disease In England
Hi there, UK readers. I see you there, making up 0.54% of our visitors. Since you're the only ones awake and reading this right now, hopefully you'll heed this warning: I wouldn't sleep with any Premiership players for a while....
Oddsmakers Like Obama's Chances Of Not Humiliating Himself Tonight
Bodog is taking prop bets on whether the president will bounce his first pitch at the All-Star Game and thus send his country spiraling into a Depression or something. At present, the moneyline's liking Obama's arm:...
David Beckham Deserves An Imaginary Nobel Peace Prize
"If [he] had spoken out about Iraq it wouldn't have happened," said Jon McClure, frontman of the The Reverend and The Makers, of Becks. "Or Britain certainly wouldn't have got involved." So that's what The Beckham Experiment is about. [PA]...
Homeless Soccer Gives The Beautiful Game A Shower And A Hot Meal
Pretty much the only people who play soccer in America are Latin American immigrants and eight-year-old girls, but now someone has found a great wellspring of untapped athletic prowess—homeless guys....
Zambrano Pitches, Hits, Uses Inverted Pyramid
The Cubs have to be one of the most disappointing teams in the National League. It was nice for Carlos Zambrano to do, well, everything in the game today....
If They Were Athletes: The Robots From <i>Mega Man II</i>
You've thought to yourself, "Y'know, those extremely agile and powerful Nintendo characters would be great at sports." But who would they be, if manifested in reality?...
Coach's Foot Attacked by Deranged Panamanian Groin
Things got ugly during yesterday's match between Panama and Mexico. I'm not one for pointing fingers, but I'm guessing that the Mexican coach making for this guy's groin (while the ball was in play) didn't exactly defuse the situation....
Best of the Brissed: The First and Last Deadspin Maccabiah Games Preview
Named after the Maccabee family, who vanquished the Greeks despite 6-1 odds and stingy handicapping; the Maccabiah Games bring together 7,000 of the world's best Jewish athletes to satisfy their insatiable lust for gold. Whoa. That came out wrong....