cc Page 442 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Donte' Stallworth Out Of Jail
Remember how grumpy you were when you heard that Donte' Stallworth only got 30 days in jail for DUI manslaughter? Well, he was just released after only serving 24 of them. Just in time for a three-day weekend! [ESPN]...
ESPN: The British Invasion
ESPN is creating a new UK-based channel in order to broadcast the live Premier League matches they now own the rights to. If "First Take" ends up on the schedule, this could destroy the NATO alliance. [Guardian, via Sports Hernia]...
Cristiano Ronaldo Stars In World's Largest Press Conference
Almost 80,000 people showed up at Real Madrid's stadium last night just to watch Cristiano Ronaldo try on a shirt. I'm starting to suspect that you don't love your favorite team enough....
A Hearty L'Chaim To Jason Lezak
Jason Lezak — three-time Olympic gold medalist, Phelpsian savior and, blessedly, former bar mitzvah boy — will skip the swimming world championships to race in Israel's Maccabiah Games. When in Jerusalem, he'll be hankering for Chinese food from Beijing. [AP]...
F1 Boss Ecclestone: Hitler "Got Things Done"
He also managed to compliment Saddam Hussein and offend black people all in the same interview. And he thinks Hitler was efficient?...
Racist European Soccer Fans, Go Sit In A Corner
"A referee should first demand over the public address system that fans stop their racist behavior. If they fail to do so, the game should be suspended for five to 10 minutes, with teams sent to the locker rooms." [AP]...
I Got Sol But I'm Not A Soldier
Got an image you'd like to see in here first thing in the morning? Send it to [email protected]. Subject: Morning crap...
Wardrobe Malfunction Costs Swimmer Race, A Little Bit Of Dignity
Italian Olympian Flavia Zoccari was disqualified from a race yesterday after her swimsuit literally tore her a new butthole. That's not going to sit well back home, but hopefully it will all work out in the end. [DailyMail, via Slanch]...
Scoring At Home: Your <em>SportsCenter</em> Catchphrase-O-Meter
An occasional feature in which we explain and evaluate a SportsCenter anchor's pet phrase. Today's phrase: "Winner winner chicken dinner."...
Longhorn Linebacker Blitzes Woman's Bedroom With His Car
All-Big 12 linebacker Sergio Kindle drove his car into an apartment building last week, and lacking any other options, left the car behind, ran home and went to bed....
Mobster Doesn't Take Kindly To Soccer Players Who Insult His Girlfriend
It must have stung Bulgarian goaltender Nikolay Mihailov when his Playmate model girlfriend dumped him for a notorious mob boss—but it probably stings even more when the mob boss decides to attack you with acid....
So We All Still Love Soccer Now, Right?
Does anyone know when the next USA soccer game is? Because unless it's this Wednesday*, I'm guessing our nation may have trouble parlaying the magical Confederations Cup showing into a nationwide love affair with the sport....
Brazilians. Yankees. Open Thread (Holy Crap, We're Winning Tied Losing We Lost)
It's the first annual Thrillerbowl, as the U.S. goes for their biggest soccer win ever. (Were you born in 1950? I didn't think so.) Follow in the comments, check the liveblogs, and watch out for the bees. [ESPN/Unprofessional Foul/Sporting News]...
The Answer Is None. None More Black
Athletes want to be musicians. Maybe they're not getting enough groupies on their day job, but the urge for a player to also be a troubadour seems overwhelming. Oftentimes Every time, it's a failure (I'm looking at you, Deion)....
How The U.S. Can Wipe The Floor With Brazil
Bob Bradley must be slightly busy right now trying to prepare his team to pull off another upset of a superior squad. Toilet-papering one of Brazil's finest is probably a strategy he hasn't considered....
The Other Wins That Were Supposed To Change U.S. Soccer
United States 2, Spain 0. "Probably the greatest victory" in U.S. Soccer history. History-making. The one that will change the future of soccer in the country, right? It can join the club....
Egyptian Press Reports What Really Happened In That South Africa Hotel Room
In Egypt, which lacks a free press, the government can try to make a scandal dissipate just by using politically correct language. Case in point: apparently, the translation for "possibly-money-stealing-and-home-wrecking prostitutes" is "girls."...
The United States-Spain Aftermath: Fun With Google Translations
"Suddenly, the fluid Xavi football, friendships imaginative patent associations disappeared. United States, with its two lines that tightened the nuts of a submarine, had sprayed the tiqui-taca."...
Tom Verducci Has Found His Latest Anti-Drug Mascot: Joe Mauer
Oh, lookie. Here's Tom Verducci, once again on the cover of Sports Illustrated, once again turning real live baseball players into toy soldiers whom he can draft into his own personal war on steroids....
The Greatest Upset In The History Of Sports (This Week)
The United States has just flabbergasted the world, ending Spain's 35-match unbeaten streak with a 2-nil shutout of the planet's No. 1 team. Put that in your vuvuzela and blow on it....