cc Page 443 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
The Tiny Plastic Horn That Will Ruin The World Cup
If you've watched the Confederations Cup, you have no doubt been annoyed by the mysterious buzzing sound that drowns out even the TV announcers. Well, get used to it, because that sound will haunt you throughout next year's World Cup....
Iran "Retires" Soccer Players Who Went Green
Four players on the Iranian national team have been banned — err, retired — from competition for wearing green wristbands in their Wednesday match. Two others also defied orders to remove the green gear, and their fate is "unknown." [Guardian]...
One Sporting Event That's Too Dangerous For Bylines
Chances are, you've never been to Myanmar. And correct me if I'm wrong, but you've also never been to a soccer game in Myanmar, because it's Myanmar, and because it's illegal for five people to gather in the same place....
Ice Cream Does Not Belong On Your Face, Kid
Seriously, why is this kid at the Italy-Brazil game rubbing his ice cream bar on his face? Not to sound like a busybody, but where are his parents? I think the state may need to get involved here. [YouTube]...
The Real Reason For Egypt's Soccer Loss?: Thieving Gangs Of Hookers
A 3-0 loss to the hapless United States was embarrassing enough, but Egyptian soccer may be more embarrassed by reports that the team was robbed by prostitutes they brought back to their hotel. At least one explains the other....
The Trials of Willie, The Inflatable Dry-Humping Shark
Willie, the mighty Tiburón, is the air-assisted mascot of a popular junior soccer team in Colombia. Unfortunately, Willie's enthusiasm occasionally gets the better of him and he recently got suspended for disrespecting an opposing team. With his crotch....
Talk Like An Egyptian
Got an image you'd like to see in here first thing in the morning? Send it to [email protected]. Subject: Morning crap...
Not So Irrelevant Anymore
Ryan Succop, a kicker from South Carolina, was the last pick of this year's NFL Draft. He's reportedly about to become a rich, rich man. Like, $1.2 million rich. Who wouldn't trade relevance for cash? [Red Zone]...
How Do Iranian Soccer Players Protest? Very Carefully
Iran's soccer team may have found it difficult to concentrate on their World Cup qualifying match in South Korea today, since their country is, you know, engulfed in the cleansing flames of democratic awakening....
Female Basketball Stars Hate Age Rules, Too
Epiphanny Prince, who briefly made people care about high school girls basketball when she scored 2,493 points in a game, now plans to leave Rutgers early and play abroad, just like the boys. We got next! In Krakow!...
Team Iraq Will Be Your Soccer Darling Tomorrow
There's some type of non-American football tournament commencing in South Africa tomorrow as an appetizer to the World Cup. And, look, there's Iraq. Wave to them!...
Even Their Coaches Know How To Flop
In this undated video, we have an exciting footysoccer game with brilliant ball control, superb balance, and absolutely no match fixing whatsoever. What else do you need?...
Driver Of Nick Adenhart's Car Was Also Drunk
A toxicology report on Courtney Stewart, the young woman who was killed along with Angels pitcher Nick Adenhart in an April car crash, reveals that Stewart—who was behind the wheel of Adenhart's car—was legally drunk at the time....
Cristiano Ronaldo Will Also Accept Large Piles Of Real Madrid's Cash
Just days after Kaka broke the world transfer record by going from AC Milan to Real Madrid, his new squad plunked down another $131 million to take Cristiano Ronaldo away from Manchester United. They are—how you say?—living large....
Soccer Player Survives On-Field Heart Attack
Today's most popular viral video? Belgian footballer Anthony Van Loo (funny) suffers a heart attack mid-game (not funny), but survives thanks to his implanted defibrillator (applause!)....
$94 Million Just Ain't What It Used To Be
The world's financial oblivion has affected some sports clubs worse than others. Perhaps Real Madrid giving AC Milan $94 million to take their best player will clue you in on who the haves and have nots are....
Seeking Soccer Aficionados With $140 Million To Spare
"The Board of Newcastle United can today confirm that the Club is for sale at the price of £100m. Interested parties should contact Newcastle United at [email protected] (or Keith Harris at Seymour Pierce) for further details." [The Sun]...
Chicago Fire Fans Take Their Name Quite Literally
Houston Dynamo announcer on the Chicago Fire's Section 8 celebrating its Friday night with flares: "That is a thing of beauty. You're not going to see that at an NBA game."...
Yes, We've Seen The Alleged Kobe Accuser Rap Video. No, It's Not Actually Her.
So this video you guys keeping sending us? The one called "KOBE'S ACCUSER FREESTYLE RAPS"? Here's the thing: It's not Kobe's accuser. Meet Whitney Teubner, Los Angeles-based funny lady and member of comedy troupe Studio Fred. [Studio Fred]...