cc Page 444 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Brazilians. Yankees. Open Thread (Holy Crap, We're Winning Tied Losing We Lost)
It's the first annual Thrillerbowl, as the U.S. goes for their biggest soccer win ever. (Were you born in 1950? I didn't think so.) Follow in the comments, check the liveblogs, and watch out for the bees. [ESPN/Unprofessional Foul/Sporting News]...
The Answer Is None. None More Black
Athletes want to be musicians. Maybe they're not getting enough groupies on their day job, but the urge for a player to also be a troubadour seems overwhelming. Oftentimes Every time, it's a failure (I'm looking at you, Deion)....
How The U.S. Can Wipe The Floor With Brazil
Bob Bradley must be slightly busy right now trying to prepare his team to pull off another upset of a superior squad. Toilet-papering one of Brazil's finest is probably a strategy he hasn't considered....
The Other Wins That Were Supposed To Change U.S. Soccer
United States 2, Spain 0. "Probably the greatest victory" in U.S. Soccer history. History-making. The one that will change the future of soccer in the country, right? It can join the club....
Egyptian Press Reports What Really Happened In That South Africa Hotel Room
In Egypt, which lacks a free press, the government can try to make a scandal dissipate just by using politically correct language. Case in point: apparently, the translation for "possibly-money-stealing-and-home-wrecking prostitutes" is "girls."...
The United States-Spain Aftermath: Fun With Google Translations
"Suddenly, the fluid Xavi football, friendships imaginative patent associations disappeared. United States, with its two lines that tightened the nuts of a submarine, had sprayed the tiqui-taca."...
Tom Verducci Has Found His Latest Anti-Drug Mascot: Joe Mauer
Oh, lookie. Here's Tom Verducci, once again on the cover of Sports Illustrated, once again turning real live baseball players into toy soldiers whom he can draft into his own personal war on steroids....
The Greatest Upset In The History Of Sports (This Week)
The United States has just flabbergasted the world, ending Spain's 35-match unbeaten streak with a 2-nil shutout of the planet's No. 1 team. Put that in your vuvuzela and blow on it....
The Tiny Plastic Horn That Will Ruin The World Cup
If you've watched the Confederations Cup, you have no doubt been annoyed by the mysterious buzzing sound that drowns out even the TV announcers. Well, get used to it, because that sound will haunt you throughout next year's World Cup....
Iran "Retires" Soccer Players Who Went Green
Four players on the Iranian national team have been banned — err, retired — from competition for wearing green wristbands in their Wednesday match. Two others also defied orders to remove the green gear, and their fate is "unknown." [Guardian]...
One Sporting Event That's Too Dangerous For Bylines
Chances are, you've never been to Myanmar. And correct me if I'm wrong, but you've also never been to a soccer game in Myanmar, because it's Myanmar, and because it's illegal for five people to gather in the same place....
Ice Cream Does Not Belong On Your Face, Kid
Seriously, why is this kid at the Italy-Brazil game rubbing his ice cream bar on his face? Not to sound like a busybody, but where are his parents? I think the state may need to get involved here. [YouTube]...
The Real Reason For Egypt's Soccer Loss?: Thieving Gangs Of Hookers
A 3-0 loss to the hapless United States was embarrassing enough, but Egyptian soccer may be more embarrassed by reports that the team was robbed by prostitutes they brought back to their hotel. At least one explains the other....
The Trials of Willie, The Inflatable Dry-Humping Shark
Willie, the mighty Tiburón, is the air-assisted mascot of a popular junior soccer team in Colombia. Unfortunately, Willie's enthusiasm occasionally gets the better of him and he recently got suspended for disrespecting an opposing team. With his crotch....
Talk Like An Egyptian
Got an image you'd like to see in here first thing in the morning? Send it to [email protected]. Subject: Morning crap...
Not So Irrelevant Anymore
Ryan Succop, a kicker from South Carolina, was the last pick of this year's NFL Draft. He's reportedly about to become a rich, rich man. Like, $1.2 million rich. Who wouldn't trade relevance for cash? [Red Zone]...
How Do Iranian Soccer Players Protest? Very Carefully
Iran's soccer team may have found it difficult to concentrate on their World Cup qualifying match in South Korea today, since their country is, you know, engulfed in the cleansing flames of democratic awakening....
Female Basketball Stars Hate Age Rules, Too
Epiphanny Prince, who briefly made people care about high school girls basketball when she scored 2,493 points in a game, now plans to leave Rutgers early and play abroad, just like the boys. We got next! In Krakow!...
Team Iraq Will Be Your Soccer Darling Tomorrow
There's some type of non-American football tournament commencing in South Africa tomorrow as an appetizer to the World Cup. And, look, there's Iraq. Wave to them!...