cc Page 480 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
The Buccaneers Want To Kill Carson Palmer (With Howie Mandel!)
Proving once again that no one is funnier than those who work for the official Web sites of professional football teams, the Tampa Bay Buccaneers, in preparation for their game Sunday against quarterback Carson Palmer and the Cincinnati Bengals, have put together a little flash intro to their home...
The Best Joke Book Since Henny Youngman's
In what was probably inevitable, Marco Materazzi is writing a book about the experience of Zidane's head in his chest, and it's full of "joke" comments that might have set Zidane off....
They Really Should Redraw Those Seating Charts
On the list of grand understatements, we'd like include this quote from a UK Sun story about how Croatia soccer fans are putting their team in danger of being kicked out of Euro 2008....
"This Way To Baggage Claim — Ow, Jesus!"
Another reason soccer fans rule: They have taken the time-honored tradition of fans meeting their team at the airport after a road game, and used it as an excuse to beat the crap out of them. Imagine if the Yankees would have landed at LaGuardia on Sunday morning, and people were throwing beer at th...
Today In Euro 2008 Qualifiers...
The Premiership is taking the day off in favor of some hot qualifying action for Euro 2008. But don't worry, many of your favorite British football stars still found a way to embarrass themselves....
Stop The World, We Want To Get Off
If there were any real cosmic justice out there, stories such as this would not be allowed to happen; a wise, all-knowing God, concerned only with the greater good, would hurl a giant meteor right directly into our equator first. But ours is a stark, lonely universe, devoid of reason, and we are p...
Joey Barton's Action-Packed Minute Of Fun
We took a little longer than probably was appropriate to post this, but, once Soccernista explained it for us, there was no way to avoid talking about Man City's Joey Parton and his one minute of karma bungee jumping....
Hirshey: We Like Our Ukrainians FLAMING!
David Hirshey, now able to eat during daylight hours again, writes regularly about soccer for Deadspin....
In Hell, Mascots Look Like This
Hey, Euro 2008 officials have ripped off Woody Woodpecker! And made him gay! As The Mighty MJD mentioned over the weekend, Austria and Switzerland, co-hosts of Euro 2008, rolled out their new mascots on Sunday. The two countries had their finest cartoonists labor for more than two years to come up...
Today In The Premiership...
• Everton 1-1 Manchester City. Rough day for Everton fans. First, they saw City defender Micah Richards steal a win from them with a goal in the 4th minute of injury time. Then Richards gave a profane television interview. Then City midfielder Joey Barton showed Everton fans his ass. The police ar...
Hirshey Quickie: Soccer Cheerleaders In The MLS
David Hirshey writes regularly about soccer for Deadspin....
Hirshey: Tottenham Just Can't Score
David Hirshey writes regularly about the Premiership for Deadspin....
Fox's Sense Of Humor Superior To That Of ESPN
I haven't made fun of Tim McCarver nearly as much I should, recently. I offer this as an apology, and I applaud the Fox network for letting it go. Some other networks seem to have a problem with poking fun at themselves....
Today In The Premiership...
• Man City 2-0 West Ham. Crazy things can happen when you let a Greek guy run wild in "Man City." Georgios Samaras, the Greek national in whom City invested heavily, finally came through with a big performance today. Samaras scored twice against West Ham, busting City out of a bit of a slump....
Oh. So THAT'S A Bung
The big "shocking" report from the BBC about a brewing soccer scandal in Europe has finally aired, and it turns out that the problem is ... bungs!...
This, This Is Why We Lose
So USA soccer "superstar" Landon Donovan was asked whether or not he thought he would be a better player if he was in Europe rather than the MLS. His response was curious....
Today In The Premiership...
• Charlton 1-0 Portsmouth. You know who's the best team in the Premiership? Portsmouth. Alright, probably not, but... they're at the top of the table right now. They got there by beating Charlton 1-0 today courtesty of a 73rd minute goal from the awesomely-named Lomana Tresor LuaLua. They add this t...
Smiles, Everyone! Smiles!
As we mentioned Tuesday, FIFA president Sepp Bladder wants to get Marco Materazzi and Zinedine Zidane together on an island for a final reconcilliation concerning the infamous World Cup head-butting incident. But after a full 24 hours of being mocked by the British tabloids, this crackpot scheme may...
They Might Want To Think About Whether Or Not They Should Rehire That Ref
So you might have heard about the ballboy who scores a goal for his soccer team and the refs inexplicably count it, but until you've actually seen it, you can't really appreciate the ludicrousness of it....
Failure To Launch
In these troubled times in which we live, we believe that it's good to feed the soul occasionally with some inspiring words from a true American. Such a man is Texas Longhorns fan and sometimes actor Matthew McConaughey. Let us never forget his fiery speech from last week, leading up to the Texas-Oh...