chris Page 155 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Great Moments in White History*
Let the historical record reflect that the first White Man to complete a timed 100-meter race, on foot, in under 10 seconds, was Christophe Lemaitre. In unrelated news, Usain Bolt reportedly keeps looking over his shoulder ... with, like, Hubble binoculars....
ESPN Deploys LeBron Sad Trombone/Victory Reporting Team Just In Case Chris Broussard Is Completely Wrong
Many sources scampering around Bristol have relayed that, for all that careful hedging. ESPN's own Chris Broussard claims he's "99% positive" LeBron will sign with the Miami WadeBosh. And if he's wrong? Well, ESPN has boots on the ground....
One Middle Finger For Each Star Headed To The Heat
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and internets to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....
ESPN.com's Chris Jones Now "The Most Hated Man In Paraguay"
Deadspin favorite Chris Jones, Esquire's man for all seasons and an ESPN.com World Cup correspondent, dared call Paraguayan soccer "boring" the other day, and now people want to "smash [his] brain with a hummer." That's sic....
Deadspin Classic: He ... Could ... Go ... All ... The ... Way!
There's no earthly reason to run this again today, except that it involves one thing America will be full of this weekend: a large man in a tropical shirt. And it remains funny as hell. You will always be with us, leather....
This Free-Agency Business Will Make A Lot More Sense After Tonight, Maybe
Where are those three guys going? No one knows for sure, but it's been a lot of fun speculating wildly and laughing at others' predictions, hasn't it?...
Stiff Upper Lip, Lads
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and internets to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....
The World Cup Has Popularized The Weeping Man
So many male fans crying throughout the World Cup, from joy or sorrow, but it does represent how special this event is. Except this dude, who sobbed like a college girl watching "The Notebook" for the fifteenth time....
Denver Broncos In No Rush To See Tim Tebow
"The biggest impact Tebow has had on the team since being drafted is to raise coach Josh McDaniels' appreciation for veteran Kyle Orton." [Denver Post]...
Touchdown Jesus Statue Destroyed By Act Of God (UPDATE WITH VIDEO)
Via the Cincinnati Enquirer: "Lightning struck and ignited a fire late Monday that destroyed a 62-foot-tall statue of Jesus Christ with his arms stretched toward the skies." He'll be back, I'm sure. UPDATE: Watch Him burn! Video below....
Chris Cooley, Chugging Condiments
Our old friend Chris Cooley is back. No, he's not showing us his penis this time. But after seeing this video, we almost wish he had....
Blackhawks Dealt With Pronger About As Maturely As Chicago Paper
The Tribune may have insinuated it, when they poorly photoshopped Chris Pronger's torso onto a skirt. But someone in the Blackhawks locker room went whole hog, writing "Pronger Is Gay" on their whiteboard....
Adam Burish Takes High Road, Offers To Punch Chris Pronger One More Time
Chicago may have ended their ridiculous Stanley Cup drought on Philly's home ice, but apparently that's no reason to be magnanimous. Celebration or no celebration, there's always time to remind people that Chris Pronger is a bit of a jerk....
Now The Stanley Cup Finals Is For Serious
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and internets to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....
Last Night's Winner: Buddy Comedies
In sports, everyone is a winner—some people just win better than others. Like the movie-going public that was treated to a hilarious preview of "Grown Ups" last night. If only all that basketball hadn't been in the way....
Won't Some NBA Team Please Draft This Short, Slow Filipino Basketball Player?
That's Chris Tiu, a popular basketball player in the Philippines. He has lots of fans who think some NBA team should draft him in the second round. One caveat: "At 5'11" he won't beat you with speed." [Draft Chris Tiu]...
Trivial Pursuit Creator Goes To Wheel Hub In The Sky
Chris Haney, the Canadian photographer who invented Trivial Pursuit, passed away at the age of 59. So that's who to blame for all those times you needed an orange pie piece and got stuck with a question about mixology. [Globe&Mail]...
Intern Horrors: A Reds Broadcaster Does His Best To Ruin Eric Davis Bobblehead Night
Welcome back to Intern Horrors, a weekly feature in which interns (and the people who hire them) get to complain. Today, there's a Cincinnati Red showing his true colors (it's envy!), a desk befouled, the depths of desperation, and our first badtern....
Last Night's Winner: Philadelphia Flailers
In sports, everyone is a winner—some people just win better than others. Like the Chicago Blackhawks, who seriously got under Philly's skin, as evidenced by Dan Carcillo launching himself at anything that moves, and Chris Pronger literally throwing in the towel....
Chris Berman Walk O' Fame Update
Wednesday, grumpy artisans were installing Chris Berman's big, bright, shining star on the Hollywood Walk o' Fame. Future pilgrims should be happy to know it's steps from Hollywood Cabaret and about 1.5 miles from the nearest leather shop. [Farther Off The Wall]...