christ Page 53 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Fuck You, Charlie Brown
Every year you watch A Charlie Brown Christmas, and every year you come away depressed. You're a real asshole, Charlie Brown. Originally published Dec. 9, 2010. Read Tom Scocca's counterpoint: "Charlie Brown Is Bigger Than Jesus."...
Christmas Hype Will Drive Your Children To Insanity
Christmas is four days away. I know this because my kids have been counting down the days since, I dunno, LAST goddamn Christmas. Children have boring lives. They have to go to school all day. They have to listen to adults tell them what to do. They can't watch porn. It blows. Christmas is one of th...
Chad McGhee Has Risen Up Against President Obama And Government Itself
Now that the Knox City Greyhounds season is over, Chad McGhee has turned his attention to matters besides Texas high school six-man football. Here, he takes both a moral and political stand against the POTUS and affiliated pagans who have declared war on the Lord. In these War on Christmas times, ...
Gifts For People Who Have An Opinion About Tim Tebow
Nobody puts the "Christ" in "Christmas" like America's greatest football phenomenon. Don't stop with Denver Broncos gear—Tim Tebow is much more than just an athlete, as the bio of "Timmy" on the Tebow family ministry's website makes clear. Here are a few ideas to help your favorite Tebower get close...
Gather 'Round, Grove, Draper and Ronjohn: The Lacrosse All-Name Team Is Here
What makes a great lacrosse name? There must be a whiff of old money and non-rhotic lockjaw, but it's more than that. In the spirit of Potter Stewart's test for obscenity ("I know it when I see it") and Katie Baker's beloved lacrosse family the Stanwicks (Sheehan, Wick, Coco, Tad, Steele, Wells and ...
Gifts For People Who Play With Balls
It can be hard to watch sports all the time and not feel that instinctive, itching urge to get off the couch and toss a ball around for a little while (or at least during the commercial breaks). But we want to make sure that you take heed of the special hierarchy of balls that are available for toss...
Gifts For Gamers
Shopping for video game aficionados should be easy. There's seemingly an endless supply of games, systems, and gadgets to suit their every need. The thing is, though, gamers have are used to checking out the reviews for every perspective purchase on the market. They know the field so well that they'...
Gifts For Sports Fans Who Wear Clothes
Buying apparel for the sports fan is a slippery slope. You know they want to show loyalty to their team, but wearing a jersey outside the stadium or sports bar isn't acceptable once they're 18. We've put together some options that manage to ooze fandom and class....
The Worst Way To Find Out Santa Isn't Real: From A Patriots Punter
FOX in Boston did a spot with Julian Edelman and Zoltan Mesko at the Patriots' annual charity event. Interesting choice of players since Edelman's Jewish and Mesko, being Romanian, probably worships the Great Fire Eagle or something. As a kicker, the reporter asked the pair what they want for Chri...
Gifts For People Who Like Bacon
Sometimes, humans get a primal craving in the caveman center of their brains that nothing else can satisfy. We'll help you out with this gift guide that doubles as a friend test: if somebody doesn't appreciate one of the delicious or useful bacon-related products, this is probably not someone you ne...
Gifts For People Who Golf
Got a golfer in your life? Tired of buying all that Golf in the Kingdom crap? This guide is for you. Leave any suggestions in the comments....
For Unto You Is Born This Day In The City Of Denver A Savior, Which Is Tim Tebow (Expedited Shipping Available)
The world keeps hurtling through space, packed to the rafters with straight up crazy people. Behold: the Tim Tebow "Tebowing" Christmas card. ...
Gifts For People Who Drink
You and your friends have decided to exchange gifts for the holidays. And you're stumped: It's not like you're going to get one of your boys clothing or jewelry, and it's not like any of you would suggest something on the order of a "stocking stuffer," since your girlfriend can worry about that....
Tim Tebow Is Making Me Question My Atheism
We're doing a season-long NFL roundtable with our friends at Slate. Check back here each week as a rotating cast of football watchers discusses the weekend's key plays, coaching decisions, and traumatic brain injuries....
Can Anyone Out There Talk About Tim Tebow Without Turning Into A Moron?
Jesus H. Christ on burnt toast, what the hell is this?...
Ralph Nader Is Also Annoyed About All The Christmas Day NBA Games
We told you earlier that we were displeased with all the NBA action on Christmas Day, but we don't have much standing in the sporting world. You know who does have standing? Ralph Fucking Nader has standing....
Did You Want Two More NBA Games On Christmas Day? No? Well, You Got Them Anyway
Let's recap: Celtics-Knicks at noon, Heat-Mavs at 2:30, Bulls-Lakers at 5, Magic-Thunder at 8, and Clippers-Warriors at 10:30. Also, this is the first day of the NBA season, after a couple weeks of practice....
Caroline Wozniacki And Rory McIlroy Obnoxiously Remind Us That They Are Nos. 1 And 2 In The World
We should only be so cynical about young love, but young love should only give itself so many insufferable personalized nicknames and offer so many reminders that the young people in question—the Wozz in "Wozzilroy" is 21 years old and the Ilroy is 22—hold the best and second-best world rankings in ...
The Death Of A Former Football Player At An Underground Fight In A Church Has, Somehow, Resulted In A Lawsuit
The church along the Broken Arrow Expressway in Tulsa is of the Christian-capitalist mega-variety. You know the deal: rock shows, slick website, a gift shop, deadly unsanctioned boxing fights. One such fight on Sept. 21, 2011, allegedly resulted in the death of George Clinkscale, who played lineback...
The Stupid Moral Panic Over Mocking Tim Tebow; Or, What Would Jesus Do About Tebowing?
Oh, please. You know why Tebow memes exist? You know why they've, let us say, gone forth and multiplied? Because of columns like this, that's why. Here's the headline:...