christ Page 59 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
The World Cup Has Popularized The Weeping Man
So many male fans crying throughout the World Cup, from joy or sorrow, but it does represent how special this event is. Except this dude, who sobbed like a college girl watching "The Notebook" for the fifteenth time....
Denver Broncos In No Rush To See Tim Tebow
"The biggest impact Tebow has had on the team since being drafted is to raise coach Josh McDaniels' appreciation for veteran Kyle Orton." [Denver Post]...
Touchdown Jesus Statue Destroyed By Act Of God (UPDATE WITH VIDEO)
Via the Cincinnati Enquirer: "Lightning struck and ignited a fire late Monday that destroyed a 62-foot-tall statue of Jesus Christ with his arms stretched toward the skies." He'll be back, I'm sure. UPDATE: Watch Him burn! Video below....
Won't Some NBA Team Please Draft This Short, Slow Filipino Basketball Player?
That's Chris Tiu, a popular basketball player in the Philippines. He has lots of fans who think some NBA team should draft him in the second round. One caveat: "At 5'11" he won't beat you with speed." [Draft Chris Tiu]...
This Sioux City Promotional Video Is So Awful, You'll Want To Move There Ironically
By gathering notable townsfolk for this Up With People-esque extravaganza (and by not paying any attention to Starship's lyrics), Sioux City's promo video has now supplanted Cleveland's as the most unintentionally hilarious instance of civic self-love. H/T @edsbs....
10 More Songs Notre Dame Could Have Used For Promotional Purposes
Remember that awful Notre Dame promotional video we wrote about yesterday? Well, it only seemed awful because everyone interpreted it wrong. Actually, it was kind of brilliant. My pal Nate Freeman, who knows nothing about sports, is here to explain....
Now Here's A Reds Funk Song To Make Their Fan Base Recoil In Shame
Readers Seth & Jen watched that wonderful Notre Dame promo and thought they recognized those Midwestern-sports-funk stylings from the video you see here, a celebration of Reds fandom....
Touchdown Jesus Wept: Notre Dame's Promo Video Is Funky, Awful
Notre Dame, a small Bible school with one of sports' more offensive nicknames, has decided to promote its athletic program by channeling Parliament-Funkadelic. The echoes just woke up and would like Notre Dame to please keep that awful racket down. [MSF]...
Cristiano Ronaldo Scores A Beauty For Real Madrid
Ever since he cruelly turned his back on the Premier League for the paltry sum of £80million, hardly anyone over here gets to keep up with Cristiano Ronaldo's football progress. As it happens, he's still quite good....
Scott Stapp Ruins Baseball
Here's Stapp, known to you as lead singer for the band that made you hate both music and God, howling a song called "Marlins Will Soar." Sample lyric: "Let's play ball, it's gameday. We want strikeouts, base hits, double plays." [Stapp's Blog]...
Kenyon Martin Locker Room Eruption Versus Christian Bale On Set Meltdown
Kenyon Martin's temper tantrum in the aftermath of Popcorn-In-Car-Gate has landed. It's pretty good, but we wanted to add a little zest. So, after firing up some Danger Mouse, we put this together (NSFW language)....
Stephen Strasburg Performs Miracle Of Turning 27 Pitches Into Six Outs
Baseball Jesus Stephen Strasburg debuted today against the Tigers and pitched two scoreless innings. He gave up back-to-back two-out singles in the second, finished with a strikeout, and transubstantiated into Miguel Batista. [ESPN]...
Papists Ruining Serie A: Blasphemy Now Suspendable Offense
Chievo coach Domenico Di Carlo has been suspended for this Sunday's match against Bari for taking God's name in vain. Next week: Luca Toni raps your knuckles with a ruler for goofing off during prayer time. [Goal]...
Tim Tebow At The Combine: A Revelation, Set To Iron Maiden
As you know, Tebow impressed at the NFL Scouting Combine, running the three-cone drill in a hell-blazing 6.66 seconds. (It's the second coming! Of Mike Alstott!) Here's video of Tebow's big day, set to Iron Maiden's "Number of the Beast."...
Tim Tebow False Messiah Watch: Antichrist Edition
With apologies to Slate, the Tim Tebow False Messiah Watch is our occasional look at the growing body of evidence - quotes, signs and wonders, excessively fawning prose - that the Florida quarterback is the Beast....
Tim Tebow Messiah Watch: Money Changers Edition
With apologies to Slate, the Tim Tebow Messiah Watch is our occasional look at the growing body of evidence - quotes, signs and wonders, excessively fawning prose - that the Florida quarterback is the Lamb of God....
Satan, For One, Cares About The Pro Bowl
The devil wants to destroy successful believers, Cowboys o-lineman Leonard Davis tells BPSports.net. That means you, Christian Pro Bowlers! "Satan is definitely on the prowl," Davis says. "He wants to see us fail." [BPSports.net]...
The Dangerous Message Of The Tebow Miracle
On Super Bowl Sunday, Tim Tebow and his mom will appear on your television sets and suggest very sweetly that the women among you play dice games with their God....
Tim Tebow Messiah Watch: Ascension Edition
With apologies to Slate, the Tim Tebow Messiah Watch is our occasional look at the growing body of evidence — quotes, signs and wonders, excessively fawning prose — that the Florida quarterback is the Lamb of God....
BREAKING: Rick Reilly® Writes Decent, Heartfelt Column
It's about his friend, the late Mike Penner/Christine Daniels: "My wife, Cynthia, became her gender tour guide. ... Where to buy shoes online, what the new hormone pills would do to her, the trick of lingerie." [ESPN The Periodical]...