college Page 3 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Bro Rolls Two-And-A-Half Pound Joint, Gets It Confiscated By The Cops
If you're ever going to roll a two-and-a-half pound joint, I guess 4/20 at UC Santa Cruz is the day to do it. Also, "butthurt" is a term that we are wary of throwing around, but that bro is the definition of butthurt. ...

Another Famous Samoan Football Player Slowly Backs Away From The Manti Te'o Scandal
We told you earlier how Arizona Cardinals fullback Reagan Maui'a told ESPN he had met Lennay Kekua, which is rather odd because she doesn't actually exist. But also buried in that report was Kekua's reference to another famous Samoan football player:...

The State Of Florida Excoriates Florida A&M For Failures That Led To Hazing Death
We recently directed your attention to the story of Robert Champion's hazing death—Champion, a drum major at Florida A&M, was beaten to death by fellow members of school's famed marching band. Investigators from the Florida Board of Governors inspector general's office wrote a report on the school's...

Forbes's 2012 List Of The Most Valuable Teams In College Football Reads A Lot Like The 1936 AP Poll
Forbes's latest best guess at the most valuable college football programs is out, and if you're a Texas fan, congratulations: Your slavering devotion to the Death Star of the Big 12 has paid off once again. You're number one! Granted, you're in the "also receiving votes" category in the AP's poll of...

Bristolmetrics: ESPN Covered A Meaningless <em>Monday Night Football Game</em> More Than The Jovan Belcher Murder-Suicide
This is a regular feature breaking down, minute-by-minute, the content that appears on ESPN's 11 p.m. edition of SportsCenter throughout the week....

Texas A&M Finally Lets Johnny Football Talk
Johnny Manziel—though he has a really cool nickname, and though he led his team to an upset of top-ranked Alabama, and though he is putting together one of the all-time great individual seasons—remains something of a mystery to college football fans. This was in part due to Texas A&M coach Kevin Su...

Why Don't We Let College Athletes Major In Sports?
David Pargman, a professor emeritus of educational psychology at Florida State University, makes a perfectly sensible argument in The Chronicle of Higher Education: Why can't aspiring professional athletes just major in sports, the way that aspiring dancers major in dance and aspiring actors major i...

An Account Of The Horrific Hazing That Robert Champion And Other Florida A&M Band Members Endured
Next Monday, Nov. 19, will mark one year since Florida A&M drum major Robert Champion was beaten to death while being hazed by members of the university's famed marching band, the Marching 100. Yesterday, Ben Montgomery of the Tampa Bay Times published a very thorough account of the incident that l...

Texas A&M's Six Laterals With No Time Left Couldn't Beat LSU
Not often that an SEC tilt will give you flashbacks to a Div. III game from five years ago. But today the No. 20 Aggies started slinging laterals every which way but forward while down five and out of time against No. 6 LSU, almost raising the ghosts of Trinity vs. Millsaps....

Either Mark May Or Lou Holtz Burped Loudly On ESPN's College Football Halftime Show
Caught off guard when they threw it back to the studio during ESPN's halftime report, somebody burped loudly and directly into their microphone. We're thinking it probably wasn't Rece Davis, because he was getting ready to talk and seems to transition pretty well. So it could either be Mark May or ...

Pissed-Off College Student Leaves Greatest Voicemail Ever
If you've ever attended school at any level, you know how infuriating it can be when some dipshit administrator screws up your paperwork and sticks you in the wrong class. Or even worse, when they actively try to prevent you from switching out of that class into the class you wanted. Well, one br...

You Will Eat 30 Bowls Of Cereal A Day (And 11 Other Things You Should Know Before Going To College)
I got this letter from Funbag reader Anthony, which seemed rather timely:...

Rhode Island NBC I-Team Investigates Dangerous New Game Called "Beer Pong"
What a week for Old People Discoveries: On Monday, the New York Times alerted the world to a curious new trend called "planking," and yesterday, NBC's Providence affiliate launched a special investigative report into the "potential dangers" of a "new game" called beer pong....

Here's Video Of Rioting Penn State Students Flipping A News Van (And Other Fun Videos)
The scene gets intermittently ugly on Beaver Avenue, with the first casualty the WTAJ news van. It's fair to say most students on the streets are well-behaved, just coming outside to see what happens. There are also a lot of shitheads out there tonight....

Joe Paterno's Coaching Career Is Over
Per Jim Gardner of 6ABC in Philly, the Penn State Board of Trustees has voted to remove Joe Paterno immediately. Longtime assistant coach Tom Bradley will take over as Paterno's interim replacement. A press conference is scheduled to begin any minute. We will update accordingly. [@Jim_Gardner]...

This Is What Happens When Old Drunk Alumni Trash And Poop A Vanderbilt Frat House On Homecoming To The Tune Of $12,000
Vanderbilt held its homecoming weekend last week, and as is tradition, the fraternities hosted alumni brothers for a Saturday night party. At Sigma Alpha Epsilon, they are still surveying the damage....

Look At This Fucking Hoopster: Libyan Rebel Edition
This young man is Chris Jeon. He is a 21-year-old UCLA math major and he recently decided to take a vacation to the Libyan revolution. He brought a throwback Jerry West jersey with him....

Kansas State's EcoKat Mascot Will Reduce Energy Usage And Humiliate The School
The Kansas State administration may need a refresher in the 2011 version of "braggin' rights." The school is taking on rival Kansas in something called the Take Charge! Challenge, which aims to increase recycling and conservation efforts at the two institutions....

Kansas College Suspends Its Golfers For Dongish Facebook Photo, But Team Captain Jack Hiscock Says They're Appealing The Suspension
Lindsborg, Kansas's tiny Bethany College—a Lutheran school, home of the Fighting Swedes—has suspended its entire golf team for three tournaments as a punishment for taking the above naked photo together. You can't see any dong in the shot, but it's there, under the golfing gear....
