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There's A New Shawn Kemp In Town, Seattle
Shawn Kemp, Jr. (not pictured), a 6'9" center from Canton, Georgia has signed with the Washington Huskies and has already started classes at the university. It's not the Sonics, but it is a Kemp. [ESPN]...

Duke Tweets The Dookiest Tweet Imaginable
I'd be a very happy man if someone in the University of Arizona public relations department retweeted this. [@DukeNews]...

Behold The Pride Of The Ohio State University
Police busted a 1,000-strong block party near the OSU campus over the weekend, and these three young gentlemen — from left to right, Michael Shivak, 21, Matthew Coleman, 19, and Brian Witt, 21 — were arrested on charges of a felony assault on a police officer. No idea how Shivak came out so clean....

A Special Graduation Message To The Class of 2011
Every year, thousands of young Americans graduate from college. And every year, those poor wretched hungover bastards are forced to sit out in some quad in million-degree heat to listen to a mildly famous person yammer on and on for hours about how these kids will change the world and all that bulls...

College Students Celebrate Bin Laden's Death With Patriotic Backflips, Nudity, Beer: A Gallery
In celebration of the fact that Osama bin Laden was announced dead last night, American college students everywhere took it upon themselves to riot in the streets, drunkenly yell their college rally chants on national television, and light couches on fire. Oh, America....

Remember When UConn Won A Title, And They Wanted You To Narc On The Rioting Students?
It was just seven short years ago that the Dean asked the UConn community to email him at [email protected] with the identities of those tipping cars and starting fires in the great Storrs Conflagration of '04. The school had posted the photos stolen from Facebook, in an all-time shady move. It...

Self-Proclaimed Jersey-Chasers Bring UNC Hoopsters To Sorority Formal, Warn Sisters First
Last night was Spring Formal for the UNC-Chapel Hill chapter of the Chi Omega sorority. And three of the lovely ladies landed as dates three of the members of the basketball team: Harrison Barnes, John Henson and Kendall Marshall....

The Loneliness Of The American College Transfer Student
I remember being on the floor of my room in South Quad, bawling my eyes out on the phone. I couldn't stop crying. Real, hard crying. The kind where your jaw unhinges and long, cathartic wails just come pouring right out of you. My mom was on the other end of the line, and for a very long time, she d...

Wisconsin Student Paper Names, Shames Students Re-Selling Rose Bowl Tickets
The Badger Herald is pissed off, and taking names. Well, listing names. The names of UW students who snapped up coveted Rose Bowl tickets, and are attempting to scalp them. As strong proponents of public shaming, we stand with you, Badger Herald....

University of Maryland Starts First Competitive Eating Team
"Feed the turtle" is the motto of Maryland's competitive eating club, which gained university recognition last week. We're just shocked it wasn't a Big Ten school....

Poll: Which Injury Will Hurt More?
On one hand, the busted-up jaw that Brett Favre suffered a couple hours ago had to smart quite a bit if this picture's any indication....

Kansas State Mistakenly Listed As A Top School, Until It Turned Out They'll Let Anybody In
The Kaplan/Newsweek College Rankings had K-State as the 16th most desirable large school, until they found out that the reported admission rates were inaccurate. Kansas State actually admits 98 percent of applicants. [Journal-World]...

The Nittany Lion Has A Drinking Problem
Penn State's mascot (okay, the guy in the suit if you want to get technical) was charged with public drunkenness after passing out in the bed of a pickup truck. That beats the DUI the mascot landed two years ago....

College Wrestler Condom Bombs Officer With Puke-Filled Rubbers
The North Central College freshman lured out campus security with a fake call for a female needing an escort, and ambushed the officer with two condoms filled with vomit. I think I saw something similar in a Japanese porno once. [Daily Herald]...

An Alternate History Of The Miami Sorority Zoo Party Bus Of Doom
Earlier this week, we told you about the Zeta Tau Alpha sorority that was disciplined by Miami University for alleged drunken assaults on a limousine driver. Well, a friend of the Zetas have stepped up to defend their honor....

Yet Another Miami Sorority Formal Ends In Drunken, Pukey Anarchy
The Fightin' Zeta Tau Alphas of Miami University became the third sorority at the Ohio school to be placed on probation this semester after a night of messy, over-served lunacy. At the zoo, of all places. Those poor animals....

A Special Balls Deep Message To The Class Of 2010
It's graduation time across the country. I've done this post the past two years running, and I don't see new college grads getting any less annoying. So we'd best do it again....

Even More Pukey, Poopy, And Sexy Sorority Formal Action
Miami University's Alpha Xi Delta sorority has gotten themselves into some hot water of their own over their own outrageous, sex 'n' booze-infused soiree at the National Underground Railroad Freedom Center this past March. [Cincinnati.com, Homer247.com]...

Miami University Had The Pukiest, Poopiest, Sexiest Spring Formal Ever
On April 9, 2010, Miami University's Pi Beta Phi fraternity for women held a spring formal at the quaint Lake Lyndsay Lodge in Hamilton, Ohio. The sloppy, slutty details of what transpired that boozy enchanted evening are tremendous....