Copa America Page 5 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Qualifying for Copa America 2024 should only help the USMNT
Here’s a compliment sandwich. The 2024 Copa America, South America’s premier international soccer tournament, will again be played in the United States after America hosted the showcase for the first time in 2016. Despite being the host nation, the USMNT hasn’t directly qualified to play in the even...
'Salt Bae' can fuck right off
For some reason, Z-list “celebrity” chef “Salt Bae” was in Qatar for the World Cup, and he tried to get up close and personal with Lionel Messi and the rest of the Argentina squad after the final. ...
Taking a moment for Messi
It seems like something of a missed opportunity that my favorite Lionel Messi moment came 11 years ago. There’s been so much since. It just happened to be on my 30th birthday, on a day where pretty much everything went wrong (a fine introduction to one’s 30s, it could be easily argued). Barcelona th...
Maybe Neymar is just unlucky
While this World Cup has had its share of great stories, the overarching one that started well before the tournament was Lionel Messi. This is his tournament, whatever Argentina does. Either it’s the last great failure of him (it’s never by him when it comes to Argentina). It’s always that the rest ...
What’s next for the USMNT?
You know it’s over when your star midfielder is showing up courtside at Miami Heat games. Or the rumors of contract talks with the manager are heating up, while he tries to gain leverage by whispering about European club jobs. Time to call for the Lyft officially....
Messi, who? World Cup favorites Argentina suffers shocking upset to Saudi Arabia
Most American soccer fans went to bed Monday night ready to skip Tuesday’s opening game. Better to get some sleep than watch a blowout when Argentina is going to be in the tournament for a while right? Saudi Arabia entered Group C’s opening match as a +1800 underdog (per BetMGM odds) to win and gave...
Albiceleste of Steel? World Cup 2022 Group C Preview: Argentina, Saudi Arabia, Mexico, Poland
OK, I’m stretching to get a Rush reference into these. But the heart wants what it wants. ...
C.B. Bucknor drags everyone down with him
It was yet another banner day for C.B. Bucknor behind the plate, as we watched in real time while he lost sense of the strike zone and perhaps indeed any sense of direction at all. The plane which the ball must pass through to be called a strike is imaginary, of course, and tough to judge from a pos...
This biennial World Cup mumbo jumbo is soccer’s next big fight
Last spring, when news of the Super League first started to break, I was pretty dismissive. Heard it all before — that type of leak tended to break on a cycle of every few years or so, and would quickly fade into the background. In reality, it did fade into the background pretty quickly. It just did...
Argentina, and Messi, finally win again
Saturday wound up being one of those days in sports where seemingly everything happens all at once....
We’re just gonna rerun our last two headlines about Copa America in Brazil
If you thought having a massive soccer tournament switched to a country governed by a corrupt dickhead in the span of less than two weeks was a really bad idea, well you can pat yourself on the back. You were right. Copa America has been everything we sadly thought it would be and it’s only three da...
How is Brazil the better choice for Copa America?
You may be getting your large-sporting-events-that-shouldn’t-be-taking-place confused, and it would be understandable. There’s the Olympics, which just lost 10,000 volunteers, is in a state of emergency, and yet welcoming thousands of athletes from 200 countries — doesn’t seem all that sharp. There’...
Brazil Snaps 12-Year Copa América Championship Drought With 3-1 Win Over Peru
Brazil are once again the champions of South America, defeating Peru 3-1 in the Copa América final and winning the tournament once again for the first time in 12 years....
Messi On Copa América: "I Think The Cup Is Fixed For Brazil"
Despite the absence of Lionel Messi, and being down to 10 men on the field, Argentina were able to hold off Chile in the Copa América third place game with a 2-1 victory to take home bronze in the tournament. However, the Argentinian superstar was noticeably absent from the ensuing medal ceremony, d...
Overeager Ref Sends Messi Off For Not Retaliating Against Chile's Gary Medel
The latest addition to your “just CONMEBOL things” folder comes courtesy of the trigger-happy ref officiating the Copa América third place game between Argentina and Chile. ...
Brazil's Marquinhos Says Battling Diarrhea Made Defending Messi "Very Difficult"
Brazilian defender Marquinhos spoke highly of the Argentinian side his team disposed of on Tuesday in the semifinal of the Copa América, saying that both Lionel Messi and the whole of Argentina’s squad had an “inspired” night that made for a great game—Brazil went on to win 2-0. But while the task o...
Lionel Messi Goes Off On "Bullshit" Refereeing After Argentina Lose To Brazil
VAR has been a disaster at the Copa América this summer, and last night’s Brazil-Argentina semifinal was no different. And as evidenced by his scathing postgame comments slamming VAR and the refereeing in general after his team fell to Brazil, Lionel Messi is fed the fuck up with it....
Aging Fraud Luis Suárez Misses Only Penalty In Shootout Against Peru, Ends Uruguay's Copa América Campaign
The trade-off in having Luis Suárez on a team has always been for every person he bites, black player he racially abuses, or referee he headbutts, he’ll score at least a couple dozen goals to make up for all of that shithousery. But it appears that as he’s reached his 30s, the playing abilities that...
Edinson Cavani Scores Game-Winning Goal Over Guy Who Once Stuck Fingers Up His Butt
Edinson Cavani secured Uruguay a big win over Chile yesterday with a stunning goal in the 82nd minute. The goal itself was sweet, as it meant Uruguay finished atop their group in the Copa América. But what made it even sweeter was that Cavani scored it over the guy who once stuck his fingers up Cava...
Venezuela Made A Pact With The VAR Devil
For most of my lifetime, Venezuela has been chum for the sharks of South America. La Vinotinto have never qualified for a World Cup, have never even made the final of a Copa America, and generally do not put up much of a fight, particularly against the top teams on the continent, and even more so wh...