da Page 1131 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

If Ya Can't Beat Em, Dress Up Like A Lady
So the saying goes. Here's rookie fuck David Price, preparing to "work his rookie magic" in the South Bronx after last night's 4-2 loss at Yankee stadium. [ESPN]...

Does Michael Jordan Have Any Friends Left?
Despite what he'll tell you, Jordan wouldn't have won a single title without help. Yet Jerry Krause, the man who assembled that collection of second bananae, won't be there as MJ enters the Hall of Fame. Why not?...

Mark Whicker Leaves The Yard
I do not say this lightly: What you're about to read is the single worst piece of sports journalism ever committed to the page....

Sympathy For The Refs
More and more it's looking as if the NBA will lock out its referees and turn to scabs instead, and no one will much protest because NBA refs aren't exactly coalminers in Matewan. But this is nevertheless a bad development....

Emmitt Smith Says Romo And Phillips Have To Stop Being Polite, Start Being Real
Articulately-challenged running back Emmitt Smith is frustrated with his former team, and he's blaming Cowboys quarterback Tony Romo and Wade Phillips for the Lombardi trophy drought in Big D, urging them to yell at more people....

Cops: Former WCW Champ Made His Girlfriend Tap Out
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and the blogosphere to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

Naughty Word Appears On Sports Broadcast, And A Snickering Nation Presses Pause
Got an image you'd like to see in here first thing in the morning? Send it to [email protected]. Subject: Morning crap....

Spend The Weekend With Gourmet Spud
Yes, fans, the photo above is the mysterious Gourmet Spud of the brilliant Food Court Lunch. A helpful tipster spotted him in the canned goods aisle at a WalMart near Banff. He was buying 40 cans of Kirkland salmon....

Alex Rodriguez Loves His Mounties
A-Rod got a little up close and personal with the Toronto police department last night and, as is his wont, he got a little handsy. Come on, Kate Hudson. Can't you control your man?...

The Washington Redskins Will Sue Your Grandmother Into Bankruptcy
A recent Washington Post story mentioned that the Redskins have been suing season ticket holders who backed out of their onerous seat contracts. Apparently that story wasn't sad enough, so here's a picture of a crying grandma Daniel Snyder bankrupted....

QB Proves You Don’t Have To Be Literate To Make The 49ers
Nate Davis may not be able to deconstruct the early work of Tolstoy, but no matter: he's excellent at throwing footballs-at least good enough to make the 49ers over Damon Huard....

USC Song Girls Do That Thing They Do That Makes People Happy
The lively boys at TrojanWire have cobbled together a tribute video to the world's most famous white-sweatered show ponies — with musical accompaniment by the Pixies — to celebrate the advent of Trojan season. [TrojanWire]...

Carolla Needlessly Rants About Simmons' "Retard Chicken Pussy" Bosses (UPDATE)
On his podcast, Adam Carolla declared that some "retard fucking hack" at ESPN wouldn't allow the Sports Male to appear on his show. The rant is a thing of beauty that earns only a minor demerit for being totally untrue....

Wes Helms Gets Off When You Fight
On Wednesday, a shouting match between Hanley Ramirez and Dan Uggla seemed to foretell the 2009 collapse of the Florida Marlins. The clubhouse was imploding along with the team's slim wild card hopes—just as Wes Helms had planned...

It's Going To Be A Fun Year In South Bend
This mysterious billboard was erected in South Bend this week, just across the street from the Notre Dame campus. Oh, that's sweet of Irish fans to throw their support behind beleaguered head coach Charlie Weis like....heyyyyyy, wait a second!...

And One To Grow On
Got an image you'd like to see in here first thing in the morning? Send it to [email protected]. Subject: Morning crap....

Bengals' First Pick's Three-Part Fail: Fat, Injured, And A Bengal
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and the blogosphere to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

Watch As Your Childhood Gets Choked Out
Jason David Frank, best only known as the Green Power Ranger, is entering MMA. His first opponent will be the winless Lord Zedd. [MMA Weekly]...

The Math Of Kahn: Ricky Rubio's Deal In Spain Could Work Out For Timberwolves
As expected, the Basketball Jonas has signed with FC Barcelona, meaning he'll join the NBA in 2011, at the earliest. This is bad news for basketball fans and Gillette's marketing department but maybe — maybe — not David Kahn's Timberwolves....

The 2009 New York Mets: A Season Of Failure
The New York Mets are not the worst team in baseball. They are not even the most ineptly run franchise in their own division. Yet, their 2009 campaign may have forever redefined the concept of losing....