da Page 1132 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Tuomo Ruutu Will Drink Your Milkshake!
Then he will take the glass it was served in and bash you in the face with it. There was a scary moment last night during the Colorado Avalanche-Carolina Hurricanes game when Tuomo Ruutu viciously and recklessly boarded Darcy Tucker....
UFC 104: Urine For A Good Fight
In advance of tomorrow's UFC 104, let us pause for a moment to consider the merits of drinking your own piss....
Coming Soon: Jonathan Papelbon's Dubious Taste In Cinema
"Dark Side of the Locker Room" is a compendium of journalists' bizarre, amusing and previously undocumented encounters with athletes (and often athletes' genitalia). Got a story? Send it to [email protected]....
It's Still Gotta Be The Shoes
Marcus Jordan, son of Michael and a freshman at Central Florida, wants to wear Air Jordans. UCF has a contract with adidas. This is the Sophie's Choice of the third millennium....
<i>New York Post</i> Continues Full Court Steve Phillips Press
Day Two of the Steve Phillips Saga and the New York Post has you covered, with more dirt, plus a primer on how to bang interns without them going psycho on you. They do it because they care....
Cranky Old Man Goes Mike Tyson On Neighbors
When the local kids' football landed in his yard, a Michigan man reacted as any of us would: he bit one of their dads on the face. [Sports Rubbish]...
David Stern Peels His Scabs
The referees you've always hated will probably be back for Tuesday's NBA opener, replacing the replacement referees you were going to hate even more. And so ends a monthlong referee lockout that really had nothing to do with the referees....
Steve Phillips Suspended After Affair With ESPN Employee
Reports out of ESPN headquarters this morning say that "Baseball Tonight" analyst Steve Phillips is on a "leave of absence," after an affair with a 22-year-old production assistant turned into a special edition DVD release of Fatal Attraction. [Updates below.]...
Searching For Jose Lima: Readers Lend A Hand
Yesterday, we posted the email correspondence between us and our new bestfriendf4evah, Melissa Lima, who, for some daffy reason, is having trouble tracking down her ex-husband, pitcher Jose Lima. Many readers have offered to pitch in....
The Joys Of Very Large Old Public Urinals
Time for your Deadspin Open Mailbag Tuesday. Email us here or submit your questions via Twitter. This week, we're covering old urinals, candy, baby wipes, and more....
The Filipino Ron Artest Suspended One Year For Slugging Fan
Wynne "Tiny" Arboleda of the Philippine Basketball Association has been suspended for the entire 2009-10 season after he went all Daniel Plainview on a fan during a game. At least he'll have more time to work on his rap album....
Tim Tebow Messiah Watch: Transfiguration Edition
With apologies to Slate, the Tim Tebow Messiah Watch is our occasional look at the growing body of evidence — quotes, signs and wonders, excessively fawning prose — that the Florida quarterback is the Lamb of God....
Reporter Is Unamused By Our Tale Of Minor-League Cock Hijinks
Recently, Giants farmhand Garrett Broshuis shared the story of his teammate's dong-waggling mating ritual, which Garrett likened to the furious, metronomic beating of a toy drum. And now, the reporter for whom the drum was furiously, metronomically beaten is outraged....
Redskins Season Quickly Devolving Into Roland Emmerich Film
Oh, man. This Washington Redskins season. Let this be a lesson to you other teams: if you're not gonna contend for the playoffs, please have the courtesy to implode in the most hilarious manner possible....
USC's Blake Ayles Thanks Notre Dame Fans For Their Hospitality
Got an image you'd like to see in here first thing in the morning? Send it to [email protected]. Subject: Morning crap....
Sixty Minutes Of Action Summed Up In One Screengrab
Our early games promised two marquee match-ups, and though one disappointed, we learned a bit about who's for real....
David Wells Isn't Ashamed Of His Bodily Functions
If I told you one of TBS' studio crew farted live on the air, then proudly admitted it to his viewing audience, would it have taken you long to guess which one?...
Microwaving Poop Lands Canadian Football Players In Deep Doo-Doo
If there's one thing my grandfather told me that I have always held on to was when he said, "Don't put shit inside something you use to heat food that you intend to eat." But Gramps always got sayings wrong....
Two Men And A Little Tommy
Kobe Byrant, the newly single Frank McCourt, and a very sleepy Tommy Lasorda took in Game 2 of the NLCS today. Of course, this was in the fourth inning, so the trio is probably already eating dinner in Malibu....
Jerry Jones Thinks Wade Phillips Can Totally Beat The Patriots This Year
"Two years ago the Giants were in trouble," Jones said. "It was also absolutely expected that something was going to happen with the coach....Well, that same year they won the Super Bowl....This is a long, long journey." [DMN]...