day Page 126 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

For Your Saturday Afternoon Viewing Pleasure
• In progress — College Basketball: Wisconsin at Texas [ESPN2] • 1:00 — Meineke Car Care Bowl: Connecticut at Wake Forest [ESPN] • 1:00 — Classic MLB: Orioles at Yankees, Game 1 of '96 ALCS [ESPNC] • 1:00 — White Men Can't Jump [A&E] • 2:00 — Classic MLB: Royals at Yankees, 1983 "Pine Tar" Game [ESP...

Fumble! Everybody On It, Including Stepsons
By now, you've probably heard about Chris Jessie, Mack Brown's stepson who stupidly grabbed a loose fumble last night during Texas' thumping of Arizona State in the Holiday Bowl. It's pretty entertaining....

About Last Night
What you missed while shoplifting eight giant red hot pickled sausages, stealing a doughnut truck and ramming a University of Wisconsin police car. Oh, and your name is Warren Whitelightning ... (with video) • Holiday Bowl: One For The Thumb ... Texas steamrolls ASU 51-34 despite Mack Brown's goofy ...

Jamboroo, Week 17: Your Holiday Hangover, Featuring The Dreaded Nanking Special
Big Daddy Drew's Thursday Afternoon NFL Dick Joke Jamboroo previews the upcoming weekend of the NFL every, well, every Thursday afternoon....

A Christmas Eve Game You Can Guiltlessly Ignore
We suppose, if they have to play a game on Christmas Eve, we appreciate that it's a game that doesn't really matter. Maybe there's a few fantasy stragglers counting on it, but that seems about it....

Thanks To ESPN, It'll Be Our Merriest Christmas Ever
This Christmas why not give the card that says "Not only am I cheap, but I have no sense of humor."? It's Holiday Smack Cards from ESPN; which can be sent to friends and loved ones, and hilarity is sure to ensue. That is, if your idea of humor is a toilet flushing. I can just picture some folks at P...

The Rams Can Cure What Ails Ya
The Steelers wouldn't actually blow this thing, would they? The team with the handsome coach and the gay mascot have looked awful the last few weeks, and now the Browns are threatening to pass them. But they wouldn't fall so far to lose to the Rams, right? Right?...

Jamboroo, Week 16: CHRISTMASAROO!
Big Daddy Drew's Thursday Afternoon NFL Dick Joke Jamboroo previews the upcoming weekend of the NFL every, well, every Thursday afternoon....

About Last Night
What you missed while visiting the baby otter ... • College basketball: Yes, it appears that Jayhawks Magic will extend through to at least February. Kansas 71, Georgie Tech 66. • NBA: I'm convinced that future generations will regard Sasha Vujacic as the greatest Laker of them all. LA 103, Chicago ...

Purple Jesus And His Pop Warner Buddies
Far be it from us to impugn the reputation of a team that has won five in a row and looks, on paper, to be one of the hottest teams in the NFL, but ... heavens to Betsy, if that's what a playoff team looks like, sheesh, when's baseball season?...

We Still Have Faith
Don't worry, Kyle: You're always a winner in our book....

It's Purple Jesus Vs. The Neckbeard
Yes, yes, tonight's "Monday Night Football" game is somewhat key to deciding that last playoff slot in the NFC, and it's nice to have an MNF game mean something. But who cares about Purple Jesus and the Vikings. It's Kyle Orton's night to shine!...

Fins Win! Fins Win! Fins Win!
Well, we said the Dolphins had to beat the Ravens to avoid the ol' schneid season, and gosh golly gee dang it, they somehow pulled it off! In overtime! Shortly after Baltimore missed a 44-yard field goal, Greg Camarillo caught a short pass over the middle and busted off the 64-yard winner. Final sco...

For Your Sunday Afternoon Viewing Pleasure
Non-Football TV • In progress — Bowling. PBA Spartanburg [ESPNC] • In progress — Into The Blue [SHOe] • 1:00 — Pool. Women's 9-Ball Championship [ESPN] • 1:00 — U.S. Marshals [SPIKE] • 1:30 — The Jackal [USA] • 2:00 — Shanghai Noon [TBS] • 2:00 — National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation [TBS] • 2:30 — ...

For Your Saturday Afternoon Viewing Pleasure
• In progress — College Basketball. Okalahoma State at Pittsburgh [ESPN] • In progress — NCAA Division II Football Championship. Northwest Missouri State vs. Valdosta State [ESPN2] • In progress — Movie. Deuce Bigalow: Male Gigolo [ENCORE] • 2:00 — SWAC Football Championship. Grambling vs. Jackson S...

Mitchell Report Blogdome
It's the day after the Mitchell Report; dad is passed out under the tree, the cat is covered in tinsel, torn wrapping paper is everywhere. Meanwhile, on the Interwebs, reaction crystalizes ......

About Last Night
What you missed due to a slight hemorrhoid flareup ... • NFL: Hey, the Texans played the Broncos last night. Hey! Hello? Is this thing on? • NHL: Luke, I'm your father, eh. Turn to the dark side you hoser. Hemsky, Oilers end Red Wings' win streak, 4-3. • Actual headline: "Steroids Report Upstages Go...

Look, Kids! Football!
Hey, so here's something: There's an NFL game tonight! No, really! Don't worry, though: It's a game between two teams you don't care about, on a network you can't watch. So relax....

Jamboroo, Week 15: METALLICA WEEK!
Big Daddy Drew's Thursday Afternoon NFL Dick Joke Jamboroo previews the upcoming weekend of the NFL every, well, every Thursday afternoon....

Make Your Case To Attend The ESPN Holiday Party
Yesterday, we told you about the lack of hard alcohol at tonight's ESPN Holiday Party. Well, we can do you one better this morning: The official Web site for the party. It's a doozy....