dcunited Page 2 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Julian Büscher's First Professional Goal Is A Long-Range Doozy
DC United just got knocked out of the quarterfinals of the CONCACAF Champions League, 3-1 on aggregate by Mexican side Querétaro. At least their lone goal—scored by German rookie Julian Büscher, in his second ever match for the club—was an absolute beauty, as Buescher smacked in a fishtailing rocket...

Idiot On The Field Invades Pitch At MLS Playoff Match, Gets Sacked
A lot of idiots have made their appearances at RFK Stadium, but it was one Idiot whose pitch invasion interrupted today’s D.C. United-New York Red Bulls and led to the hooligan getting sacked—in the American football sense of the term....

Jermaine Jones Gets Red Card, Attacks Referee
Jermaine Jones, German-born USMNTer currently in MLS to get some checks and play whatever position he wants, has a history of getting heated and falling ass first into some stupid red cards. Back at Schalke, he got suspended for two months for stomping on Marco Reus’s foot....

Washington D.C. Politicians Being Shady As Shit About New Soccer Stadium
The debate over an arena for D.C. United—with a proposed site cost of $300 million, it would be by far the most expensive soccer-specific stadium project in the country—has been long and contentious but stands on the verge of a major step: the approval of the Washington D.C. City Council. But the da...

Eddie Gaven, The Oddest Goalkeeper In MLS History, Retires
Eddie Gaven retired today, and the math doesn't seem right. He's only 27 years old, but already an 11-year veteran of MLS. That's what happens when you get drafted at age 16, as Gaven was by the MetroStars in 2003. The wunderkind never quite lived up to the hype, but he proved to be a versatile, wor...

NBC Sports Breaks Away At Exact Wrong Moment
Lesson for NBC, the new holder of the American rights to the Premier League: Don't cut away from soccer during the run of play, like you did here, and miss a goal like the one D.C. United scored. (Transmission error or not, woof.) [NBC Sports]...
![MLS Couldn't Dig Itself Out Of The Snow Or Its Own Ass [UPDATE]](https://images.deadspin.com/tr:w-900/184p6ngy5rminjpg.jpg)
MLS Couldn't Dig Itself Out Of The Snow Or Its Own Ass [UPDATE]
The weather had already shafted DC United. The higher seed, they lost homefield advantage when MLS switched the legs of their home-and-home with the Red Bulls because the New York area was still cleaning up after Hurricane Sandy. It wasn't fair, and United fans were pissed, but it's hard to see that...

An Entire Section Of DC United Fans Planked At Last Night's Game
Well, planking just won't die. We thought it had, over the weekend. But maybe soccer fans based in DC don't watch morning news in Dallas....

Who Wants To See Charlie Davies (Mostly) Naked?
I've been dispatched by the other 90 percent of the Deadspin staff to share with you these photos of Charlie Davies, the starting striker for D.C. United who suffered bleeding in the brain, a ruptured bladder, a broken tibia, femur, and elbow, and multiple facial fractures in a car accident in Octob...

Watch A D.C. United Soccer Player Get Interviewed About His Balls
During halftime of last night's draw with Real Salt Lake, D.C. United defender Jed Zayner confirmed that his side would, in fact, need to "work our balls" off on defense. Then, the announcer inquired as to the state of Zayner's....

Juan Agudelo Scored A Special Goal Against DC United Last Night
It's weird to see an American striker do this. We're so used to our forwards scoring as a function of being in the right place at the right time. Agudelo scored last night despite bad service and good marking. He created this goal out of nothing. No more Jozy Altidore comparisons, please....

Charlie Davies Attempts To Save His Failed Goal Celebration By Doing "The Bernie"
Since he returned to professional soccer in late March, Charlie Davies appears to be having a great time. The 24-year-old has scored four goals in three games for D.C. United, which has him on loan from the French club FC Sochaux; the latest tally was this late-game penalty kick against the Galaxy...

NBA Player Served With Child Support Papers At Halftime Of A Game
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and internets to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

The Best Possible Reason To Buy An MLS Jersey
I don't know if I can take another second of NFL Draft coverage. No matter what I look at now, a tree, a drunken hobo, a bag of cocaine, I see a scrolling "team needs" bar underneath it, and I hear Mel Kiper telling me about its ability to explode. So we leave you today with something, hopefully, ki...

Hirshey: Staying Awake For The MLS (Halfway, Anyway)
David Hirshey writes regularly for Deadspin about soccer....