deadspin Page 10 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
She Wears Glasses, So She Must Be Smart
• Who cares if he doesn't like bloggers? After this, we do love Michael Wilbon. • Rick Sutcliffe is all googly-eyed over Erin Andrews. • A message to the graduates. • Jose Lima's new friend. • Reilly calls Simmons a "blogger." Burn! • Roger Clemens and boners. • El Hombre goes down. • Every...
Are We Gonna Die? Because We Wrote This?
Hello? Is the bathroom on this level working? A dog inside the building! Go! Shoo! Why you're not a dog at all. My god, this is like a moment from a horror movie. This is precisely the moment where the mutation or beast will attempt to kill an unlikable side character. But, in stories where there ha...
So, Yeah, Active Week
• See ya, Hirshey. • See ya ... what? See ya ... us? • If the Cubs are gonna keep winning, at least this happened. • Uh, yikes. • This guy is the greatest. • Ron Artest, journalist. • Drew, out of the closet. • We're not sure we'd get along with Chuck Bednarik. • Everybody likes that Kimbo Slice cha...
You're Too Much Trouble. Get Some Therapy.
We were a stand-up tomato: a juicy, sexy, beefsteak tomato. Nobody does vegetables like us. We did an evening of vegetables off-Broadway. We did the best tomato, the best cucumber... we did an endive salad that knocked the critics on their ass....
Hitchin' A Ride
• Foul, or not a foul? Doesn't matter now. • Oddsmaker came back! • This car is awesome. • Michael Jackson, UFC fan. • Loving YMCA. • Ryan Howard, a Tractor Traylor heir. • Alfonso Soriano is sensitive. • Back from France. • Scary. • Here comes Reilly! • Borat and heavyweight champs....
We Think People Should Mate For Life, Like Pigeons Or Catholics.
We're older than her father, can you believe that? We're dating a girl, wherein, we can beat up her father....
Perhaps Simmons Should Write A Newspaper Column
• Tony K kisses newspapers goodbye. • Utah fans are scary. • Dee Mirich returns! • Reggie MIller, drinkin' • Hirshey nailed the end of the EPL season. • Barkley and Vegas, two great tastes that taste great together. • Sit a few plays out, big guy. • Thank you, Milwaukee! • When Charles Haley attacks...
Worry Is Like Interest Paid In Advance On A Debt That Never Comes Due
Nobody looks at a Japanese tourist....
Ozzie Guillen And His Inflatable Fans
• Inflatable groupies. • A-Rod, cool under pressure. Totally. • Flomax! • Tim Tebow, a cut above. • A kid that is now somewhat less smelly. • The horse revolution. • Mindy McCready, not selling albums. • Look what two motorcycle crashes can produce. • Jamie Moyer has a friend in baseball schedules. ...
Snakes. Why'd It Have To Be Snakes?
You Americans, you're all the same. Always overdressing for the wrong occasions....
Braylon Edwards Does Not, In Fact, Blog
• Hey, What'd we miss? Oh, yeah. That. • Oh, and nobody had a better take than Daulerio. • John Daly, shirtless. • Jeff Reed. Two words, so much meaning. • Careful, Coach Weis. • Pat Jordan is a badass. • Roger Clemens should not be allowed around early teens. Nor should Karl Malone, for that matte...
Show Us All The Blueprints
If you let him testify at that hearing, the whole world will see what he's become. They should remember him for what he was....
Now You See T.O., Now You Don't
• Terrell Owens, vanishing from porn films. • Santonio Holmes is packing some heat. • Butterfingers for a Red Sox fan. • Jeff Passan and Terry Pettis. • Topless ladies (kinda) at Rockies games. • It's Jeff Reed night. • Yankees-Red Sox fight! • As spirited a defense of the NFL Draft as we could imag...
Our Breasts Can Always Tell When It's Going To Rain
If only you knew how mean she really is... You'd know that we're not allowed to wear hoop earrings, right? Yeah! Two years ago she told us hoops earrings were her thing and we weren't allowed to wear them anymore. And then for Hannakuh our parents got this pair of really expensive white gold hoops a...
Goodbye To All That
• We miss Isiah, already. • No more primates at the Washington Post. • Good night, Lima. • NFL schedule is out. • The end of Harold Reynolds' lawsuit against ESPN. • Carmelo is very sorry. • Lots of discussions on Bill Simmons. But no Barack Obama for him. • Will Clark, charming. • One Nutty Buddy. ...
Nothing Happened The Way It Was Supposed To Happen
All right, let us tell you about your "God's plan." Six billion people on Earth when the infection hit. KV had a ninety-percent kill rate, that's five point four billion people dead. Crashed and bled out. Dead. Less than one-percent immunity. That left twelve million healthy people, like you, us, an...
The Week We Lost A Steely McBeam
• Congratulations ... sigh ... to Bill Self. • Buckner, Fenway, heartwarming, kind of, not really. • Gen. Petraeus on the Wii. • This is a very specific personalized jersey. • Rick Astley and Shea Stadium. • Roy Williams, and Hooters. • Steely McDrunky. • Pat Summitt is awesome. • All right, everybo...
At Least He's Not Out Taking Illegal Drugs Or Making Some Woman Miserable
When we were — what was it — about five or six? - we were sexually attracted to Bugs Bunny. And we - we cut out this Bugs Bunny off the cover of a comic book and carried it around with us. Carried it around in our pocket and took it out and looked at it periodically, and — and it got all wrinkled up...
Matt Leinart Suddenly Dirty
• Opening Day! • President Bush would have been a better commissioner. • Look: Daulerio works here now. • Matt Leinart once, and Matt Leinart twice. • Andy Roddick, doing OK for himself. • We miss Davidson already. • Stuart Scott on the microphone. • Joel Zumaya, bringing rock. • Larry King really, ...
We Cannot Defend Freedom Abroad By Deserting It At Home
There's no news, boys, so go out there and make some news. Rob a bank, mug an old lady, whatever - just do something....