Denmark - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Denmark can absolutely win the whole thing
We’ve reached the quarterfinals of Euro 2020(1), which is when fans of the countries still in contention really start dreaming, and the rest realize that fucking-off-of-work time is probably going to run out with only three Monday-Friday match days left (#DayDrinkingIsForAllSeasons). For the teams t...
Here's A Nice Dad Thing
Denmark keeper Kasper Schmeichel may have ultimately been outdone by his Croatian counterpart, Danijel Subašić, during yesterday’s penalty shootout, but he still earned national hero status by saving Luka Modrić’s penalty late in extra time. A fun subplot that arose during the game was Schmeichel be...
Croatia Narrowly Avoid Fraud List After Surprisingly Thrilling Penalty Shootout Victory
Croatia-Denmark opened with a bang. Denmark used a mighty throw from Jonas Knudsen to set up what was frankly a panicky, little-league-ish scramble in the box, leading to a charmingly fluky goal from Mathias Jorgensen, helped along by Croatian keeper Danijel Subasic. This was in the first minute of ...
Denmark Will Go As Far As Christian Eriksen Takes Them
The vast majority of teams that make it to the World Cup don’t have a quart of Ben and Jerry’s ice cream’s chance in Jason Whitlock’s freezer of winning the thing. The latter stages of this edition feel particularly preordained, like if one of Brazil or Germany or Spain don’t win the tournament then...
Olympic Curling Qualifier Gets Hamstrung By Politeness, Finishes With Insane Danish Shot
One of curling’s unusual features, other than everything else, has been its politeness and sportsmanship. The first page of the official rulebook discusses The Spirit of Curling for a reason, as it points out that players should be the first to admit if they broke a rule. (Imagine if NBA or NHL play...
Soccer Player Quits Team After Learning Teammate Was Sleeping With His Wife
The man pictured above is Christian Keller, very recently the captain of Danish first-division club Randers. He and his fellow Horses had to bid adieu to one of their teammates today, after Jonas Borring announced that certain personal events had led him to decide to leave the club. What instigated ...
Zlatan Kills Denmark On The Field, Then Torches Them With Sick Burn
This version of Zlatan Ibrahimović is older and worse than the one we loved and feared. Not that a little thing like age could keep him from stomping out Denmark on his way to qualifying for Euro 2016, and dancing over the body in an interview after....
USMNT Felled By Hat-Trick Hero Nicklas Bendtner, Who Still Sucks
For the first time this year—at least the first time we'd like to remember—a fit and strong USMNT squad got some run. The opponent was Denmark, stiff competition to be sure. So while USMNT fans could've justifiably been cautiously pleased with the 2-1 lead our boys took into the final 10 minutes of ...
Cristiano Ronaldo Scores 95th-Minute Goal To Lead Portugal Over Denmark
Of course he did....
Arsenal Striker Nicklas Bendtner Rubbed His Dick On A Taxi Tuesday
While Arsenal were in Germany being ousted by FC Bayern in the Champions League on Tuesday, Gunners striker Nicklas Bendtner was getting shithoused in Denmark. He got so smashed, according to reports, that he threatened a cab driver, pulled out his cock, and humped the car. The Telegraph has more:...
Couple Caught Having Sex On Soccer Pitch
Brøndby and Randers played to a goalless draw on Sunday in Denmark's top league, but that doesn't mean no one scored....
To UEFA, Wrong Underwear Far Worse Than Fan Racism
Know this: UEFA is very protective of its sponsors. (Here are the Euro 2012 sponsors, soulless corporations all, and you should avoid their products for the remainder of the tournament. Except possibly Ukrsotsbank PJSC.) Paddy Power, the Irish bookmaker, is just as corporate and just as interested i...