detroit Page 68 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
We Are All Calvinists
• I was rather impressed with Calvin Johnson's endaround touchdown where he eluded about three tackles by himself and had great wide receiver blocking downfield. The Buccaneers adorably recovered the onside kick late in the game and nailed a field goal, but couldn't get another onside kick to go the...
Look For The Large Wide Receiver At Your Door Today
You know how Pizza Hut offered to explain the importance of tipping to Lions wide receiver Roy Williams, a notorious avoider of the practice. Well, today, Roy Williams is doing his part to understand how the other 99 percent lives....
Pizza Hut Wants To Be Friends With Roy Williams
You might remember that Lions wide receiver Roy Williams hates to tip pizza delivery guys. Well, it turns out, the president of Pizza Hut has taken notice, and he's offering Williams a job....
Ladies, Line Up For Roy Williams
Lions wide receiver Roy Williams is making $1,515,000 this year, which is actually a little less than you might think, considering Jon Kitna is being paid $5 million. Therefore, Williams, under such obvious financial constraints, has to keep a close eye on his bottom line. That is to say: He's amazi...
God Apologizes For Helping Kitna
Lions quarterback Jon Kitna, just eight wins away from that preseason prediction, claimed last week that God healed his concussion, allowing him to play last week against the Eagles. You might have wondered what God thought about this. Well, Sportsline's Clay Travis has talked to God, and he's sorry...
Jon Kitna Was Sacked For Your Sins
You just knew that when God finally made his presence known to mankind, it would be to heal a journeyman NFL quarterback's minor head injury. So you Iraqi kids with missing limbs, you're just going to have to wait your turn. Jon Kitna's got to take care of business!...
It's The NFC North Pants Party
OK, now it's time for the NFC Central North. We haven't seen anybody pick anybody other than the Bears yet. We suspect it won't be much different here....
Charles Rogers, Finding A Home Up North?
We think we've found a great future job for Lions general manager / president Matt Millen, if he's ever actually fired by Detroit. (Ha. Right.) He would make a grand scout for the CFL....
Our Only Regret Is That Gary Sheffield Does Not Have A Blog
This just in: Joe Torre is still a racist. He also hates puppies, and Flight of the Conchords. Let's get him! Such would be the cry if Gary Sheffield ran baseball....
NFL Season Preview: Detroit Lions
Believe it or not, folks, the NFL season is much closer than you can possibly imagine. So close, in fact, that, if we're going to fit in every NFL team preview by the start of the season, we have to go this early. So there you have it....
Jason Grilli Is Pretty Sure He Has Fans
Any athlete with his own Web site has several options. He can be entirely weird and wonderful. He can speak blandly about this team and life As A Baseball Player. He can sporadically update and ask for charitable donations. Or he can just try to sell shit. Or, if you're Tigers pitcher Jason Grilli, ...
Central Heating: Tigers Are Getting Warmer
The Tigers submitted a letter of intent to win the Al Central on Tuesday, as Curtis Granderson made the kind of diving catch we all fantasized about in our backyard when we were 10 ... or, um, in my case, I'll admit, last weekend (your fantasy may vary)....
Wilfredo Ledezma Is Careless With His Laundry
We haven't done much international travel, and, in fact, we just got our first passport about a year-and-a-half ago. We've heard countless nightmarish stories of people losing their passports and never getting home — we actually stitch it to our kneecap anytime we travel — but Tigers pitcher Wilfred...
One Grand Salami, Please ... Not On White!
Earlier yesterday, reports leaked that Gary Sheffield said black and white players are treated differently under Yankees skip Joe Torre, Derek Jeter "ain't all the way black," and that he never used steroids because "steroids is something you shoot in your butt," in an upcoming HBO interview. Needle...
Calvin Johnson Must Be Really, Really Good
...because he has Jon Kitna believing that the Detroit Lions are going to dominate the NFL this year. The same Lions that went 3-13 last year, because of a rookie wide receiver, are going to win 10+ games this year. Mmhmm....
Just Another Day At Comerica Park For Justin Verlander
Notes from a day in baseball:...
Gary Sheffield Is Full Of Opinions
As we sift through the carnage of yet another Gary Sheffield interview — and the accompanying brilliant Dugout reaction — we take a look back at the quotable career of Gary Sheffield. 100 Percent Injury Rate has compiled some of Gary's greatest hits throughout the years. Here are a few of our favori...
It's Enough To Make You Want To Hug Damon Jones
I don't know if it's enough to erase the pain of Jordan-over-Ehlo or Earnest Byner's fumble, but last night had to be the best Cleveland sports fans have felt since ... well, since the ping-pong balls bounced their way and they won the right to draft LeBron James....
Encore?
The playoffs, as you often hear, are all about adjustments. If you're Flip Saunders, how do you adjust to LeBron James finally becoming the unstoppable force he was always supposed to be? I guess your best hope is to just hope he's exhausted from kicking your ass the last time out. The downside is t...
Gary Sheffield Will Rip The Lid Off Of It
For "aggressive actions directed at umpire Greg Gibson," Detroit Tigers DH Gary Sheffield was suspended for three games. Sheff broke his bat, and then threw the handle down ... somewhere. He says he threw it towards the dugout, Major League Baseball says he threw it at the ump....