dl Page 64 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Hopefully We've Seen The Last Of Neymar's God-Awful Fake Dreadlocks
Elaborate hairstyles of both the well- and ill-advised variety have been a constant throughout Neymar’s career. And while we’ve enjoyed seeing his shift away from the perms he once constantly rocked in favor of more natural, kinky looks in recent years, we hope to God that yesterday’s debut of his a...
The Chargers Smothered The Ravens With An "Insane" Game Plan
Today’s NFL might be dominated by creative approaches to offense, but the Chargers went to Baltimore on Sunday and won a playoff game with a daring and innovative blueprint for their defense....
Grizzlies Agree That Chandler Parsons Should See Other People
Chandler Parsons was a clear risk when the Memphis Grizzlies signed him to a four-year, $94 million contract: he was coming off consecutive knee surgeries in his last two seasons with the Mavericks. This maybe wasn’t the worst signing of the summer of 2016, but it is the one with the least surprisin...
It's Time For Some Bryce Harper Game Theory
When last we left the Bryce Harper Derby ... absolutely nothing was happening, or so we were led to believe. The 26-year-old superstar outfield has been taking his time, sitting on (as far as we know) a single formal offer, $300 million over 10 years, from the Washington Nationals. The offer was mad...
<i>A Christmas Story</i> Subplots, Ranked
Christmas feels incomplete without at least four-to-six partial viewings of A Christmas Story, Bob Clark’s 1983 movie based on Jean Shepherd’s semi-autobiographical stories. By now, if you have a heart, you’ve seen each segment and running subplot dozens of times. But which are the best? And which a...
Paulo Dybala Learns What It's Like To Play With Cristiano Ronaldo
Here is what would’ve been Paulo Dybala’s equalizing wondergoal in the last seconds of Juventus’s 2-1 loss to Young Boys in the Champions League yesterday, if only the referee hadn’t ruled it out for Cristiano Ronaldo’s offside interference, which maybe/probably wouldn’t have been called had Ronaldo...
It's Pretty Messed Up That The Red Sox Might Be Shedding Payroll
The championship window is rarely open as long as you’d like or expect it to be—just ask the 2014 Red Sox. And the current defending World Series champs can see it coming. In the next two to three years, Boston is going to have to worry about the following players hitting the open market: Chris Sale...
The Bears' Trick Play Was A Work Of Beefy Genius
Last night’s game between the Rams and Bears, a 15-6 victory for Chicago, has everyone talking about the power of the Bears’ defense. And with good reason! When you go out there and throttle one of the best offenses in the league in the middle of a high-scoring era like this one, you deserve to be t...
Cristiano Ronaldo Is Glad He No Longer Plays With Selfish Assholes Like Cristiano Ronaldo
Cristiano Ronaldo obviously loves himself some Cristiano Ronaldo. But you know who Cristiano Ronaldo doesn’t love? Teammates who act like Cristiano Ronaldo....
One Khris Middleton Shot Blocked By 60 Percent Of Hornets Lineup
One pretty sure sign that you’ve chosen a bad shot is when it is stuffed back in your face by a defender. Khris Middleton is having an excellent season for the Milwaukee Bucks, but if your shot is blocked by three different defenders, probably you owe your teammates a sincere apology. ...
Grinch Burns, Ranked
1. Your soul is an appalling dump heap, overflowing with the most disgraceful assortment of deplorable rubbish imaginable, mangled up in tangled-up knots....
Holidays, Ranked
Here is a list of (commercialized) U.S. holidays, ranked in order of how good they are:...
The Wizards Are No Longer A Basketball Team
If you have the stomach for it, pick a night when the Washington Wizards have a game at the same time as another game between pretty much any two other NBA teams, even really shitty ones like the Phoenix Suns or New York Knicks, and spend some time toggling back and forth between the two every few m...
Harvard Touchdown Called Back After Running Back Flipped Yale's Defense The Bird
Sophomore running back Devin Darrington got a little too into the Harvard-Yale rivalry today. Up 28-27, the Crimson handed the ball off to their tailback to put themselves up eight points over the Bulldogs. When Darrington hit the 10-yard line, he gave a parting gift to the trailing Yale defenders a...
This Tennis Ball Passing Through A Racket Is A Blessed Sports Moment
The Oddly Satisfying video might be the great viral genre of our time, and it has the potential to make serious inroads into sports. There’s free fodder everywhere, what with all the synchronized movement, strangely curving projectiles, scalp-tingling bat sounds, and so on. So here’s a good one, fro...
Tyson Chandler's Buzzer-Beating Block Wins Game, LeBron's Love
The Lakers’ newly acquired center Tyson Chandler once again won a game for the Lakers, this time by blocking Hawks rookie point guard Trae Young’s would-be game-winner at the buzzer, resulting in some epic windmill-style fist pumping and plenty of praise from LeBron James. ...
Track Coach Says Thousand Oaks Shooter Assaulted Her In High School
On Thursday morning, Ian David Long walked into a bar in Thousand Oaks, Calif., and killed 12 people with a handgun and injured dozens more before turning the gun on himself. To the surprise of absolutely no one, interviews with those who knew Long describe a highly disturbed person, especially afte...
Tyson Chandler Did Tyson Chandler Stuff And The Lakers Won
When Derrick Rose splashed a step-back three with 1:07 to go in last night’s Timberwolves-Lakers game, it left the Lakers with a one-point lead that felt like a deficit. Rose is a career 30-percent three-point shooter, and that triple was his seventh made three of the game and his third in less than...
James McClean's Refusal To Wear The Poppy Has Made Him The Most Hated Man In English Soccer
In England, Halloween ends and gives way to November in various ways: Pumpkins left on doorsteps begin their neglected descent into rot; the seasonal coffee flavoring changes to gingerbread; James McClean begins receiving death threats from a certain brand of soccer fan, including among his own supp...
The Pelicans Are Spiraling, But At Least Julius Randle Is Kicking Ass
Here is how more or less every Julius Randle possession seems to go this season....