dl Page 65 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Scottish Soccer Fan Punches Goalkeeper In The Face, While Another Beans Manager With A Coin
The behavior of two asshole fans threatened to ruin the spectacle of yesterday’s Scottish Premiership match between rivals Hearts and Hibernian. One of the assholes punched Hearts’ keeper in the face in the middle of the match, and the other chucked a coin at Hibs’ manager, striking the coach square...
Whoa, Hey, Some Football Players Got Traded
The NFL stove is notoriously ice fucking cold throughout the regular season, but teams have been feisty over the last few days, and some big-name players have been traded for significant draft picks. The league trade deadline passed at 4:00 p.m. EDT today, and would you believe it, some more guys go...
Giants Trade Damon Harrison, Prepare For Long Winter Of Tanking
The NFL trade market has been unusually active in the days leading up to this year’s deadline, thanks in large part to the willingness of the crap-ass Raiders and Giants to spend the rest of the season tanking. The Giants began their march to the toilet yesterday when they traded cornerback Eli Appl...
Patrick Peterson "Desperately" Wants Out Of Arizona
The Arizona Cardinals are ass. Even in a sea of NFL ass, they are a deadly, towering ass iceberg. An assberg. They are 1-6 but spiritually 0-16. Patrick Peterson has had enough....
The Red Sox's Superiority Starts At The Bottom
The World Series starts Tuesday night, and it’ll start at Fenway Park for the simple reason that the Red Sox are the best. They were the best team in the regular season—108 wins, fewer than it probably could have been had they not been allowed to take their foot off the gas after essentially clinchi...
NBA Developmental League To Offer $125,000 Contracts To Top High School Prospects
The NBA’s developmental league has unveiled a program that could greatly loosen the NCAA’s grip on top high school basketball prospects. The league will begin offering what it calls “Select Contracts” that pay $125,000 for one year to just-graduated high school players who would rather forgo a one-a...
David Ortiz Went Nuts In The Studio For Jackie Bradley Jr.'s Grand Slam
A transcript to the best of our abilities, for the hearing impaired, can be found below:...
Roberto Osuna Meltdown Lets Red Sox Run Away With Game 3
Heading into Game 3 of the ALCS, Astros reliever Roberto Osuna hadn’t pitched in 10 days, since Houston’s Game 2 win against Cleveland. He probably wishes he hadn’t pitched today, either....
The Flyers' Home Opener Went So Badly, They're Swearing
Now, you pieces of shit know that I can’t abide cursing. There’s no fucking reason for an educated, grown man to resort to swear words. How goddamned bad could the Flyers’ home opener against the Sharks have been to spur not one, but two players to work blue?...Oh! Oh. Jesus fishfisting Christ. Yeah...
Floyd Landis Is Using Lance Armstrong's Settlement Money To Start A Cycling Team
Of the $5 million that Lance Armstrong agreed to pay the federal government in April to settle a protracted legal battle, $1.1 million went to Armstrong’s former teammate Floyd Landis for his service as a whistleblower. Landis, who famously turned on Armstrong in 2010, told the Wall Street Journal t...
Report: Former NBA Try-Hard Chris Dudley Once Allegedly Smashed A Pint Glass On Someone's Head While Defending Brett Kavanaugh
Hopeless free-throw shooter and failed gubernatorial candidate Chris Dudley was pals and drinking buddies with Brett Kavanaugh when the two attended Yale together from 1983 to 1987. Where young Brett tried and failed to make the men’s basketball team, Dudley was the team’s star center and went on to...
<i>Golf Digest</i> Helped Free An Innocent Man From Prison
In 2012, Golf Digest published a first-person essay by Valentino Dixon (co-written with Max Adler, the magazine’s editorial director). Dixon had never played golf, never even stepped foot on a golf course; he was an inmate at Attica Correctional Facility in New York. He was serving 39-to-life for a ...
Michael Bradley Might As Well Retire After Zlatan Ibrahimović Ethered Him
Zlatan Ibrahimović scored what might have been the greatest goal of his life last Saturday in the L.A. Galaxy’s game against Toronto FC. Somehow, that goal—the 500th of his career—might not have been the most ruthless thing he did that day....
Umpire Who Gave Nick Kyrgios Pep Talk Gets Suspended For Two Tournaments Without Pay
During a second-round U.S. Open match on Aug. 30, umpire Mohamed Lahyani descended from his chair to give a mopey Nick Kyrgios a pep talk that included the words “I want to help you,” raising questions as to whether he overstepped boundaries as a neutral party. Lahyani has now been punished for his...
Auld Lad At Ireland Bookie Shop Thwarts Three Armed Robbers
There may come a time in life when you’re 83 years old and posted up at the bookies in Glanmire, Ireland, enjoying the retired life. When three men wielding hammers and a gun barge in, what will you do? “You can either run and hide or take a stand and I took a stand,” was the answer that Denis O’Co...
Dead Letters: Special "What Donald Trump Supporters Are Like" Edition
Welcome back to Dead Letters, the feature in which we reprint our favorite reader mail. We should take this moment to remind you that all emails to Deadspin and its editors and writers are on the record unless otherwise specified. Now for your letters....
At Least One Nathan Peterman Defender Exists, And He's A Shitbird
The Buffalo Bills officially announced on Wednesday that flailing intern Nathan Peterman would no longer be their starting QB, to the relief of Bills fans and probably Peterman himself, who never asked to become synonymous with incompetence just because his team had an irrational fear of Tyrod Taylo...
Hypothetical Grievances Presented By An Australian Newspaper To Defend Its Big-Lipped Serena Williams Cartoon, Ranked<em></em>
To riff on Serena Williams’s spat with umpire Carlos Ramos in the U.S. Open final, the Melbourne Herald Sun published an illustration of the tennis player, drawn by editorial cartoonist Mark Knight, which has since been met with international disgust. Today, like any normal newspaper, the Herald Sun...
Tyron Woodley's Mom Was There For Darren Till After Her Son Choked Him Out At UFC 228
Perennially underappreciated UFC welterweight king Tyron Woodley completed perhaps his most impressive title defense last weekend, when he destroyed lanky English striker Darren Till in the second round. The submission loss marked the first time Till has lost in 19 professional MMA bouts, and he was...
Report: Former Cowboys Running Back Joseph Randle Arrested On Suspicion Of Rape
Former Cowboys running back Joseph Randle was arrested early Friday in Wichita, Kansas on suspicion of rape, according to a report from The Wichita Eagle:...