dome Page 34 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Time To Hide The Sausage
• Nightmare Ant weeps: Wow, those small Western athletic conferences really take their mascots seriously. Oh, I'm sorry, maybe that should have read: "really don't take their mascots seriously." [Storming The Floor]...
Because The World Isn't Truly Free Unless The Gators Win
• Tebow for Commerce Secretary: Idiot Congressman asks Nancy Pelosi to delay the certification vote of President Barack Obama, so that he can attend the National Championship Game on Thursday....
The World Series Of Drunk People With Too Much Time On Their Hands
• You're still an alcoholic: Look, no one is impressed by morons throwing ping pong balls into beer cups except other morons. Oh, and Rick Reilly. [LAist]...
Your Wife Wants A Wunder Boner
• Needs less boxing: Can The Contender save boxing? That depends—does it allow chokeholds and roundhouse kicks? [Good Point]...
Someone At NBC Really Loves 3-D
P.S. Try a little harder to hide your contempt, Olbermann. Where do you think your blood money comes from? [Best Week Ever]...
Shane Victorino Will Banish You To The Land Of Wind And Ghosts
Of course, there was a live blog: Shane Victorino is Sportsman No. 1 Muscular Athlete Champion. Can you do any less?!? [Lost in Ube]...
Auburn Fans Love A Challenge
• This Is Just Wrong. This is disagreeable on so many levels, that PETA is just going to have to wait in line....
UFC: Ultimate Fleeing Championship?
• Starting The New Year In Style. Another UFC fighter arrested after a high-speed car chase. Josh Neer, however, is no Rampage Jackson. [Yahoo Sports]...
Sir, You're No Craig Sager
• Fashion. Forward: What was up with Bryant Gumbel's jacket? Doesn't he know we're in a recession? [Leave The Man Alone]...
When Very Old Worlds Collide
• Who you calling "Boy"?: John Wooden talks about Joe Paterno and lets that punk know that he doesn't care for his haircut or his "rock and roll." [LA Times]...
A Technical Foul ... Of Love
• Maybe not: What's a Scott Pioli and why does everyone want to hire him? Oh, right—because Patriots employees always do so well once they stop working for Bill Belichick. [Midwest Sports Fans]...
The New York Jets Would Like To Hear More About This Slapping Idea
• Awwwwkward: It's really not helping your team when you earn a red card for slapping another player. Especially when the slapee is your own captain. [Unprofessional Foul]...
It's Sorgi Time
I'll take this one Peyton. Week 17 belongs to Jim Sorgi. Not even Smokey Robinson's Miracles could be a more reliable backup. [Daily Snowman]...
The Cowboys Have Fallen And They Can't Get Up
As the Eagles celebrated a few doors away, Tony Romo was discovering that no amount of soap and water could wash away the smell of yet another December failure. He even collapsed in the shower while trying....
Damn You, Jack Frost! Damn You to Hell!
Tom Brady and Gisele awaiting MRI results? NHL awaiting winter in Chicago? Browns awaiting football genie to grant wishes?...
Not to Mention Dallas is a Landlocked City
Emmitt speaks (we think), Adam Dunn doesn't sign, the Thunder gets the nickelodeon treatment (doo doo doo doo doo doo DOO doo), and the Stars give up on selling the on-ice product....
We Really Want to Visit the Laundromat For Some Reason
In today's edition of Brilliant Timewasting: Rapping Swedish goaltenders, butt-slappin' O'Neals, the best hockey fight of the year, Kevin Durant's Ronald McDonald sneaks, and topless skydivers. We love the Internet so much....
Your Obligatory "Supple Wrist" Joke Before Your Obligatory Cheerleader Post
Todd MacCulloch is huge, the Wildcat in Cleveland, and the Lego Hand of God....
No, You May Not See Hank Baskett's Wife Naked
• Missed opportunities: Kendra Wilkinson will no longer pose nude after she marries Eagles wideout Hank Baskett next year. Dang it, why didn't someone take a picture of her?! [700 Level]...
Lance Armstrong Is A Very Virile Man
• It only takes one: Lance Armstrong to become a father again. So I guess it still works. [Cycling Examiner]...