dont Page 7 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Azerbaijani Journalist Killed After Criticizing Star Player On Facebook
In the heat of the moment, I bet family members of athletes who are unfairly shit on by the local hot-take purveyors in the media have fantasized about exacting revenge. In Azerbaijan, one player’s family members took this impulse a little too far and actually killed a guy for insulting their relati...
How To Get A Cheap Motorcycle And Not Crash It
The problem is, most things are Good in inverse proportion to the degree to which they’re Fun. Broccoli is Good; Bacon is Fun. Taxes are Good; Casinos are Fun. Gyms are Good; Bars are Fun. You get the picture. But assuming, as I do, that all of us must live at least a little, few things are less Goo...
How To Be A Good Person On An Airplane
Things are getting bleak in the skies. See this article in the New York Times about swapping seats on a flight:...
The Fan Theory That Makes <i>Game Of Thrones </i>Make Sense
Game of Thrones is a confounding show to watch. It’s confounding because it is based on an interminable series of novels in which people are regularly burned alive or skinned or drowned in service to one god or the next, often for reasons like “calling in a warm front to melt some snow,” but also be...
Threesomes Are Fun (If You Do Them Right)
In the pantheon of sexual fantasies blissful to imagine but volatile to undertake, threesomes are near the top of the list. It might seem like a ménage à trois should be an easy sell: more hands! More mouths! More genitals! More fun! Yet such logic evades the emotional brains driving our hot-sex-mac...
Men Should (Usually) Not Wear Sandals
This is going to come as a surprise to some of you gentlemen, but you cannot wear the same ratty running shoes to everything. It’s summer now, and you’re going to have to put at least a little bit of (warm and sunny) thought into your footwear....
First-Ever Football Sideline Reporter Sentenced To 2-4 Years For Fraud
The first-ever football sideline reporter was sentenced to two to four years in a Pennsylvania state prison Wednesday. Don Tollefson—who was hired by ABC Sports in 1974 along with Jim Lampley after a nationwide talent search for someone to "represent the face and voice of the American college stud...
Chandler Parsons Has Bad Style; Richard Jefferson Is Bad At Bargaining
How much would you pay for this Van’s Idylwild Cheetah Snapback? $5? $0? How about if you were buying it off of some guy’s gross, sweaty, lice-filled head? Maybe somebody would have to pay you to take it? If so, you have better taste than Richard Jefferson and Chandler Parsons. ...
Peter Vecsey Calls Woman An "Ignorant Slut" On Twitter
Earlier this week, Charles Barkley went on the radio and called longtime NBA writer and analyst Peter Vecsey a scumbag. Pete took to Twitter today to fire back at Barkley, and then he lost his mind and called a woman a slut....
Hockey Mom Finds Herself In Twitter Beef With Hockey Teens
Twitter is bad. It's bad for a lot of reasons, one of those being that it is a place where a hockey mom can trade barbs with high school hockey players and eventually get called a cunt by a teenager....
Cardale Jones Has An Important Update About Crushing Kids At Video Games
Back in January, Ohio State quarterback Cardale Jones visited some kids at the hospital. One of the kids unwisely hopped on the sticks like Jones was going to take it easy on him in the NCAA football video game. Jones did not take it easy, and beat the kid by a reported score of 91-35. Now, more tha...
Help! My Apartment Reeks Of Drunken-Cooking-Incident Smoke!
Jolie Kerr is a cleaning expert and advice columnist. She'll be here every week helping to answer your filthiest questions. Are you dirty? Check the Squalor Archive for assistance. Are you still dirty? Email her....
"Hopped On The Sticks," An Appreciation Of Owning Kids At Video Games
On Jan. 13, 2014, a person with the Twitter handle @BeatinOff2Night—his current handle is @ChickenColeman2—tweeted a three-panel shot of him and a kid playing what appeared to be NBA 2K14. The game was evidently one-sided, but the caption was the best part:...
Why Running Alone Through Snow For 135 Miles Is Harder Than It Sounds
Here's an excerpt from Alicia Hudelson's account of last year's Arrowhead 135, an unsupported endurance challenge through northern Minnesota starting today. It gives a pretty good flavor....
Inconceivable Stupidity: Your Guide To Ignoring Today's NFL Playoffs
So the Mueller report was released this week, and ho-ho! Look how it confirmed the NFL's story, of never having been granted access to the tape from inside the elevator. Amazing! That's great news for the NFL....
Chris Baker Confirms His "Hands Up, Don't Shoot" After Earning A Sack
Washington defensive lineman Chris Baker appeared to perform the "Hands up, don't shoot" gesture today after his third-quarter sack of the Rams' Shaun Hill, and he confirmed its meaning after the game....
Mike Ditka Says He's "Embarrassed" For "Hands Up, Don't Shoot" Rams
Crappy leather-faced old man Mike Ditka has taken to the pages of the Chicago Sun Times to hit us with his take on the Ferguson protests, as well as the decision by a few Rams players to express solidarity with the protesters by walking onto the field in a "hands up, don't shoot" pose. ...
St. Louis Rams Call St. Louis Police Liars
A St. Louis Rams executive apologized (Update: he denies apologizing, see below) to police on behalf of the team's front office for players' use of the "Hands Up, Don't Shoot" gesture before Sunday's game—a gesture that left St. Louis cops demanding punishment for the players....
St. Louis Cops Declare Rams' "Hands Up Don't Shoot" To Be "Offensive"
St. Louis police officers condemned the NFL's Rams today, calling their pre-game display of the "hands up don't shoot" gesture to be "tasteless, offensive and inflammatory." The lengthy statement issued by the St. Louis Police Officers Association demanded Stedman Bailey, Tavon Austin, Jared Cook,...