duan Page 150 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Dumbest Fish Alive Deserve To Be Dead
This is four-and-a-half minutes of silver carp leaping, unprovoked, into a boat. It serves as a fascinating video treatise on natural selection, and possible sport fishing....
Here's Video Of A Bunch Of Yale Kids Humiliating The Rational Branches Of Their Family Trees
Writes a tipster who probably should remain nameless for the sake of the rich-pal portion of his Rolodex, "My stupid ass friend at Yale decided to be a part of this video. They all seem to be pretty proud, so maybe ya'll can let 'em be heard on Deadspin."...
This Lady's Likes Include Jeff Gordon And Profanity; Her Dislikes Are Jimmie Johnson, Talladega, Bras
Last Sunday at Talladega featured the closest race in NASCAR history in the form of a photo finish. Exciting, yes sir. But as this fine American girl also proves, Jimmie Johnson's two-thousandths-of-a-second victory was infuriating for some....
Stop Your Judgmental Infield Chatter While I Handle The Pill, Softball Pitcher Pleads
Here's another overwrought email sent to a company softball team wherein one rookie pitcher had himself a tough outing. For some reason this young fireballer also ended up in a dugout scrap with one of his teammates who started heckling about his performance. Then, of course, he felt compelled to wr...
Here's Jon Gruden Saying Weird Shit To Future NFL QBs
One reason to bother watching SportsCenter the past few weeks — aside from watching legal baseball highlights, I guess — is the totally bizarre, always somehow informative "QB Camp" series the network has Jon Gruden hosting for a second year. While, like Gruden, we "don't believe half the [expleti...
Don't Worry, Dodgers Fans: Bud Selig Is In Charge Now
Bud Selig announced today that he will appoint a league representative to oversee "business and the day-to-day operations of the Club," so there's your explanation for Frank McCourt's mingling with the common folk last Thursday....
With Apologies To Jack Edwards, This Junior Hockey League Announcer Is The Homer To End All Homers
After reading our post about Jack Edwards's deliciously biased Bruins coverage, reader Kenn sent us this excellent clip from a junior hockey league in Texas. In it, the announcer completely loses his shit, tries to calm himself down, and then loses his shit all over again. It sounds like he's cove...
The Poopiness Of The Long Distance Runner
At yesterday's Boston Marathon, this runner finished at the top of her division with a personal best time, even after she experienced a messy gastrointestinal revolt before she crossed the finish line. Unfortunately photographer John Kropewnicki was there when Stinky the Splat Monster paid this poor...
Let's Watch The Brawl That Added To The Widespread "Mayhem" At Rutgers U This Weekend
Shit got real at Rutgersfest 2011 to the point where the folks over at Bob's Blitz declared the shootings and evacuations "helped transform New Brunswick into Eastern Libya."...
There Are No Winners In Louisiana Jello Wrestling, Only Screams And Suggestive Techniques
People say we don't offer enough coverage of wrestling, the caveat being that the dearth applies to wrestlers not yet dead. Fair enough....
Old Lady Bulls Fan Has Some Unkind Words For Chicago's Eastern Conference Rivals
Every team's got to have a superfan. Some are more adorably crazy than others. Meet Mary Ann, best known to her family and section 317 as Mare Bear. She has some things to say about the Heat and the Celtics....
Surly Flag Football Coach Needs Team To Learn How To "Grab A Fucking Flag And Pull It Off." STAT
I can't get enough of the unhinged fuckery that exists in adult recreational sports. Like this flag football coach, who has had it with his team's uninspired performances right before the playoffs. That can't happen if you play for this coach (of flag football) if you want to be champions (of flag ...
Wife Of Phillies Reliever Forgets Comments Like These Will Not Go Over Well In Philadelphia (UPDATE)
Philadelphia fans are (sometimes) a little overzealous and rude. We all know this. They've thrown up on Santa Claus while he was trying to help Michael Irvin off the field after he was temporarily paralyzed by a tossed Duracell. But it should be known by now, especially by the players who still pla...
Jog Angry With Sean Penn And Company
Sean Penn and Scarlett Johansson are dating. Did you know? Here they are, going for a jog together in Malibu. They were reportedly "joined by Owen Wilson on their run." A.J. saw this and said, "I don't like to live in a world where Sean Penn jogs." A.J. did not realize that Sean Penn jogs quite freq...
Jenn Sterger Talks Life After Brett Favre's Penis With <em>Good Morning America</em> Tomorrow
In case you missed the massive plugs the GMA interview with the Sterg is getting, I'm here to remind you that you may want to set your DVRs tonight or postpone that P90X workout if you'd like to see it....
"You're Either Gonna Be A Winner, Or You're Gonna Be A Loser. And Right Now, I'm A Winner."
When the good people at Fox's Dallas Fort Worth affiliate set out to do a scene piece at the Texas Sprint Cup Race (winner: Matt Kenseth), they met Tracy "You Can Take The Boy Out of the Trailer But You Can't Take The Trailer Out of the Boy, and This is a Big Trailer Park Right Here" Holder, Brandon...
Cubs Fan* Who Slept On A Bar Floor Says She Likes Hot Guys Who Are Up For Anything
Sure, Opening Day is a distant memory, but "Henneman" of Chicago deserves mention. Not just because she slept under a table the night before to ensure access to good wings, beer deals, hats and "hot guys who are up for anything." But because she seems to think Alan Trammell, Ryne Sandberg and Harry...
109-Year-Old Woman Throws Ceremonial First Pitch Like A Girl
Today we salute Violet Smith, who celebrated her 109th birthday by throwing out the first pitch at opening day for the Great Lakes Loons on Thursday. We're impressed by her form — an overhand with a follow-through! — and by her being very much alive....
Eagles Lineman Todd Herremans Tweets What Everyone Thinks About Roethlisberger's Religious Beliefs
Herremans, who tweet-farted a few months ago when he complained about True Blood's sneaky "barrage of homosexuality", set himself up for another apology pretty soon with this one....
Another Bitchy Email Over Rec League Kickball Surfaces
This time a lady kickballstress from a Florida league is the one who unloads on her lazy teammates. She doesn't need stats to call out the bumbling stooges on her squad because she can see who's playing "vigilant" defense out there with her own eyes and she'll let them hear it if they're not playing...