duan Page 186 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Kyle Orton's Dad Is Letting Everybody Know How His Son Got Traded
Byron Orton likes talking to the press about his son. So when the reporters from his hometown Des Moines Register came calling he had all the answers for them....

ESPN Will Never, Ever Do This Again
I've hopelessly searched for this video for years. Then, while doing a random search for Conan O'Brien videos, it appeared: Norm Macdonald's monologue from the 1998 ESPYs....

Now Seems Like A Perfect Time For Roger Clemens To Bring Back The Highlights
This is from an email that was forwarded to us this afternoon that was supposedly taken in a Houston hair salon while Roger Clemens had his highlights touched-up....

All Your Hopes And Fears Will Be Revealed Once You Open ... "The Door"
The Door is blowing up! It has devotees, worshipers, even its own Facebook fan group. The vigil continues....

This Poor Woman Always Wonders Why Strangers Try To Talk To Her Late At Night
One member of the Los Angeles Sol (of the lady pro soccer league) was so inspired by the late night conversation on Deadspin, she named herself after it. Okay not true — she's just Chinese....

Mike Krzyzewski, The Final Depantsing
It's not so troublesome that Mike Krzyzewski was in this Guitar Hero commercial; it seems he's spent all season with his pants around his ankles, as other teams run off with his lunch money....

Novathers. Pittcats. DUAN.
Can the road to the Final Four be paved with a good tailor? Jay Wright's Villanova Wildcats find out tonight....

More Sweet Sixteen Duan: Discuss Your Brackets, Make Out With An Avatar, Type Insulting Things About Your Mothers
Louisville/Arizona are starting...now! For those of you with Friday night plans to watch the games, tipple, rip, and sniff here's the spot for you. And stop leering — she's 16, for god sakes!...

And Here's Your Sweet Sixteen Duan: Talk About The Games, Life, Your Unemployment, The Sexual Inadequacy Of Your Current Girlfriend...
I typed in many variations of "sixteen" and "sweet sixteen" and either candles or Miley Cyrus popped up. Or some DJ entertainment companies. I went with Miley....

It's The Last Post Of The Day; What Do You Want Me To Do, Put In Rudi Stein?
Wednesday's DUAN brought to you by Chico's Bail Bonds, and the fine folks at Just My Show, who interviewed David Pollock recently and made me quite nostalgic for the kids of the North Valley League....

South Carolina: Still Rebelling
You probably thought everyone down in South Carolina gave up on that Confederate flag controversy years ago, but....you're wrong! They still fly it proudly no matter how many NCAA tournament games don't get played there....

Ryan Leaf Used To Be Carried In The Arms Of Cheerleaders (Update)
When we last heard from Ryan Leaf, he was taking a leave of absence from his West Texas A & M coaching job for some "personal" issues. I guess he sorted those out....

While You're Watching the Games, Big Red's Watching You
Need another reason to be thankful that potential bracket-buster Western Kentucky got bounced by Gonzaga? Images like this one will no longer haunt your dreams....

You Have No One To Blame But Yourself, Young Man
Deadspin Albany operative Daniel reports that these signs were hanging all over town yesterday. No wonder Siena was so fired up against OSU; they had had ENOUGH of Thad Matta's son badmouthing upstate New York....

They Saved The Goofy Games For Friday Night
I had this well-thought out screed about how the first round was about as scintillating as a Mennonite snuff film. I had to tear it up and deposit it in a UNICEF box....

We Survived Day One (Because We Were Favored)
Boy, Thursday was fun, wasn't it? Sixteen games, win-or-go-home, play hooky from work and school. It was just missing one thing. Someone — anyone — winning a game they shouldn't have....

The Binghamton "Bad Newz" Bearcats Captivate The World, Make More Off-Court Headlines
Binghamton winning the America East title and earning its first NCAA tournament berth is the only positive news that's come out about the school in recent months....

When In Doubt, Hannah Storm Will Always Go Daisy Duke
Like Josh Elliott here, we are mesmerized by Hannah Storm and her 1980s TV wardrobe. Although Josh seems to be imagining the Daisy Duke shorts as well....

Carter Gaddis' New Blog Is Off To A Rousing Start
Our only regret is that he didn't live to witness Subway's "Five-Dollar Foot-Long" ad campaign. Here's the late Geremi Gonzalez and his classic penis prank, brought to you via Tampa Bay Baseball Outsider....

The USC Song Girls Will Take Your Mind Off Those Scary Brackets
Your head is probably spinning right now, but I might have just the thing to bring you down to Earth—Song Girls getting the bejezzus scared out of them....