e Page 7238 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

The Cavaliers' Mascot Had To Go To The Hospital Because David West Punched Him In The Eye
It's all fun and games until an NBA player lands a punch that sends a man in a giant dog costume to the hospital. This was the scene before last night's Pacers-Cavs game at Quicken Loans Arena, according Tom Reed of the Plain Dealer, who reported the story with the all the seriousness it deserved:...

The <i>Baltimore Sun</i>'s Entire Predators-Red Wings Recap: "Type Here"
It's 2012, so hopefully you're not reliant on the morning paper for game results from the night before. Still, maybe there are a few elderly Baltimore hockey fans a little confused by today's Sun, which omitted the Nashville/Detroit capsule for some very unhelpful dummy text....

They Learn The Art Of Trolling At A Young Age In Vancouver
This young Canucks fan just couldn't help but give Kings coach Darryl Sutter a piece of his mind—or, at least, his mouth—during a break in the action of last night's Stanley Cup playoff opening game of the L.A.-Vancouver series. (He's got some good role models for that kind of behavior, after all.)...

You Know, Ekpe Udoh Has Finally Had Enough Of This Jeremy Lin Fella
Maybe there was something that went down between Lin and Udoh while both were members of the Golden State Warriors last season. Maybe Udoh was extra sore about the Knicks' very important win over the Bucks tonight, one that the injured-yet-excited Lin had no direct impact on....

Andrew Bynum On Pulling Down 30 Boards: "I Shot The Ball Like Shit, Man"
Lakers center Andrew Bynum is not interested in your accolades regarding his 30-rebound game tonight, joining Wilt, Kareem, George Mikan, and Elgin Baylor as the only Lakers to accomplish such a feat. No, he'd rather focus on his poor 7-for-20 effort from the floor....

Shea Weber Celebrated Winning Game One Of The Stanley Cup Playoffs By Assaulting Henrik Zetterberg
The Nashville Predators killed a late penalty and held on to beat Detroit 3-2 tonight, but winning the opening game of their Stanley Cup playoff round apparently wasn't enough for Preds captain Shea Weber. Weber can be seen in the final moments bashing the head of Red Wings center Henrik Zetterbe...

Peter Bourjos Has Our First Inside-The-Park Homer Of The Season
The world record for fastest run around the bases is held by Evar Swanson, who did it in 13.3 seconds back in 1929. Peter Bourjos of the Angels came within a second of that tonight, and he thought he might've flied out to the warning track. Instead, Josh Willingham took a tumble and Bourjos came ...

Nerlens Noel Will Play For Kentucky After Shaving Its Logo Into His Hair
Basketball players don't typically play the Signing Day shell game by picking hats off a table, so it's nice to see Nerlens Noel be a bit more creative....

Deadspin Up All Night: Go Hard Or Go Home
Thank you for your continued support of Deadspin. Oh, look. Erik's already here....

Better Know An Umpire: Todd Tichenor
Welcome to Better Know An Umpire, an effort to educate ourselves on the human elements who have ultimate decision-making power over some 2,500 Major League Baseball games a year....

Vin Scully Still Has A Cold
The venerable Dodgers broadcaster already missed yesterday's home opener—the first time that's happened in 35 years. According to ESPN, he won't be broadcasting tonight's game, either. The 84-year-old Scully is home resting, and his condition is said to be unchanged from yesterday. [ESPN]...

Bobby Petrino Was Texting Greg Brohm Right Before The Crash
Going through Bobby Petrino's phone records, there's a series of text messages to and from a single phone number in the minutes before and after the crash....

Flyers Defenseman Says He Hid His Concussion To Keep His Job
Marc-Andre Bourdon played in the minors for more than three years before finally making his debut with the Philadelphia Flyers last November, when the 22-year-old defenseman was finally called-up. At the time, reports the Philadelphia Daily News, Bourdon says he "was told to pack enough clothes for ...

A Reporter Got Fired For Announcing His New Job In An NBA-Style Press Release
Reporter Khristopher J. Brooks told Jim Romenesko, "I'm a really big NBA fan and whenever an NBA team acquires a new player there's always a press release announcing it. I'd look at those releases and think, ‘The organization is really proud.'"...

Here Are Bobby Petrino's Phone Records
We received phone records from Bobby Petrino's university-issued cellphone dating back to Sept. 12, and the contact with Jessica Dorrell begins almost immediately. From phone tag at 10:33 a.m. on the Monday before the Troy game, to a flurry of calls the evening after the police report naming her was...

The Real-Life Jerry Maguire Is A Broke Recovering Alcoholic
Daniel Roberts and Pablo Torre have a fine story in this week's SI (and this month's Fortune—it's a collaboration between the two Time-Life mags) about Leigh Steinberg, the former agent to NFL stars. We learn in the piece that whatever comeback plan he thinks he has, he doesn't really have one. He g...

Two Blonde Blow-Up Dolls Got Motorcycle Rides On The Arkansas Campus Today
And this photo of them was spotted by a reader named Trey. This much is known: The two outlaws driving certainly weren't Peter Fonda and Dennis Hopper. So was this a protest against the university's decision to fire Bobby Petrino? An attempted re-enactment of the infamous accident scene? A double da...

A Guy From My First-Period Class In High School Is Coming To Save The New York Rangers
The New York Rangers have the top seed in the Eastern Conference for the Stanley Cup playoffs (Thursday! On NHL Network! Catch it!), but the New York Rangers might be doomed. They face the Ottawa Senators in the first round. The Rangers went 1-2-1 against the Sens during the regular season. The Rang...
![Ronaldo's Free Kick Goal Was So Good GOLTV's Ray Hudson Could Only Describe It Using Sexual Terminology [UPDATE]](https://images.deadspin.com/tr:w-900/Image_Not_Found_1x_qjofp8.png)
Ronaldo's Free Kick Goal Was So Good GOLTV's Ray Hudson Could Only Describe It Using Sexual Terminology [UPDATE]
We've written here before about how spectacular La Liga goals can bring GOLTV analyst Ray Hudson to orgasm, but today's free kick goal by Cristiano Ronaldo against Atlético de Madrid earned Hudson's description of an orgasm....

It Looks Like MetLife Stadium Is On Fire, But It's Not
Don't panic! This photo is just a trick of perspective. There is a massive brush fire burning in Jersey, near the Meadowlands—it was even visible from Brooklyn for a time. But the homes of the Giants, Jets, and the depressing standardbreds of Meadowlands Racetrack are safe....