el Page 1462 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Darío Benedetto Beats Keeper With Beautiful Curler From 25 Yards Out
Costa Rican side CS Herediano took a 3-0 lead into the second leg of their CONCACAF Champions League semifinal against Mexico's Club América. They have it in the bag, right? Yeah, not so much. As of this posting, just 30 minutes into the game, Club América leads 5-0, and a Herediano player was just ...

The Police Are America's Terrorists
Last Saturday, Walter Scott was driving his Mercedes in North Charleston, S.C., when he was pulled over by police officer Michael Slager for driving with a broken taillight. Scott had a complicated life, as many of us do. He was employed and engaged; he owed back child support; in all likelihood...

A Perfect Beer For Classing Up Your Budhole
Last month, Forbes ran a preposterous article titled “The 13 Best Craft Beers in America.” There are a million things wrong with the piece, but let’s just deal with the three most glaring problems. First, why 13? That’s an unlucky number! Why you trying to hurt beer, Forbes?! Second, the author lack...

Jack Nicklaus Sinks Hole-In-One In Par-3 Contest
Old man’s still got it. Jack Nicklaus got a hole-in-one on the fourth hole of today’s par-3 contest at the Masters. The Golden Bear’s 75 years old and still better than you. ...

How Dinesh D'Souza Damaged My Faith
So conservative superstar Dinesh D'Souza recently went on Hannity and insisted that opposition to Indiana's Religious Freedom Restoration Act "is a selective attack on Christianity," which might surprise those of you who thought it was simply about denying gay people the right to have Gay Pizza ...

Wrigley Field Bathrooms Will Be Ready Next Month, Maybe
Thanks to a rainout without rain, today is Game No. 2 for Wrigley Field, which revealed on opening night that its renovations had left it painfully, pants-pissingly short of functional bathrooms. The Cubs have addressed the situation by trucking in 72 portable toilets, to be split between the left-...

This Is What Pioneers Wear
The runner in the photo above with very little skin showing is Fatma El Sharnouby, representing Egypt at the World Cross Country Meet, held March 28, 2015, in Guiyang, China. She was Egypt's only entrant in the junior women's race, and was 95th out of 97 finishers. El Sharnouby's IAAF profile lists ...

Cubs Postpone Game On Account Of Rain; Rain Doesn't Show Up
After a disastrous opening night that saw fans peeing in cups to avoid enormous lines for the bathroom, the Cubs hauled in portable toilets in an effort to remedy the situation for future games. They didn’t get to try them out, however, because the club skipped their second game Tuesday night, post...

NBA Players Will Vote On Their Own Awards
According to USA Today, the NBPA will vote on a series of end-of-season awards, including MVP and Man of the Year, presumably out of an abiding hatred of basketball reporters. ...

Report: Former NFL Receiver Dwight Jones Charged With Animal Cruelty
Police charged former NFL receiver Dwight Jones with felony killing an animal by starvation Monday after they found one dead dog and another starved dog in his yard, per the Times-News....

Just Prince Fielder, Doing Some Squats With A Rougned On His Back
Prince Fielder’s new pregame workout routine sure looks like a lot of fun....

Report: Chris Copeland Stabbed; Two Hawks Arrested At NYC Nightclub
According to the New York Daily News, Indiana Pacers forward Chris Copeland was stabbed in the abdomen outside of 1 OAK in New York City early this morning. Copeland’s wife, Katrine Saltara, and a second woman were also slashed during the incident. Pero Antic and Thabo Sefalosha of the Atlanta Hawks...

OKC Players Confused About What "Controlling Our Own Destiny" Means
Last night, the Thunder suffered a blow in their struggle with the Pelicans for the final playoff spot in the West. While they were busy getting creamed by the Spurs, the Pelicans somewhat surprisingly knocked off the Warriors. The results leave the Thunder one game back in the loss column with four...

Idiot On The Field Almost Gets Away
An idiot ran onto the field during tonight’s Orioles-Rays game at Tropicana Field just to shake Desmond Jennings’s hand. But who cares about that, what really matters is that the idiot got away! Look at this dude lazily flop over the outfield wall! ...

Byron Scott Thinks Some Of His Players Would Frag Him
It has been a remarkable year of quotes from Lakers coach Byron Scott, who has vacillated between pure delusion and brutal honesty with his words. Speaking with reporters after practice yesterday about how he is going to continue to make his very bad team practice hard, he opted for the latter. Via...


Soccer Coach Laments That Only A Few Of His Players Have Dicks And Balls
Carlisle United have been struggling. The club playing in England's 4th division have gone winless in their last five, including yesterday's 3-1 home loss to Accrington. Manager Keith Curle is fed up with his players, and decided to call them out in the media for their main deficiency: only a fe...

What If Roger Goodell Were President?
Time for your weekly edition of the Deadspin Funbag. Got something on your mind? Email the Funbag. Today, we’re covering taco enemas, board games, wiping, and more....

The Ideal Beer For Wealthy Working Stiffs
Most of my workdays are spent alone at home, poring over a hot computer as I wait for the muse to alight and the hangover to depart. From time to time, however, I am called upon to venture out into the general population to address the inmates of a local prison or communications class on the topic o...

Ray Rice's Biggest Problem Isn't That He Knocked Out His Wife, But When
The 2015 Ray Rice Redemption Tour officially launched this week with similar, similarly glowing profiles of the ex-Baltimore Raven in Men’s Fitness and New York. Once best-known for being one of the top running backs in the National Football League, he’s now principally famous for having knocked his...