el Page 1623 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Conservative Christians Vs. Anti-Vaxxers: Who’s The Bitchiest?
At long last, we have reached the final of our Bitchy Bracket bonanza, and it's a doozy. After seeing Red Sox Nation and Team Breezy and gun nuts and vegans and Beliebers and many other strong candidates fall, we are left with two of the most screeching factions of American society to duke it out....
The Pacers Have Hit Rock Bottom
The good news for Pacers fans is that things can't get much worse than this. The team's month-long tailspin seems to have finally ended with a crash landing in Indiana last night. The Pacers lost 107-88 to the Atlanta Hawks while putting on a miserable performance that featured just 23 first-half po...
Final Four Teamcasts Leave Viewers Confused, Enraged About "Bias"
Tonight's Final Four games were aired on TBS, with team-specific broadcasts on TNT and TruTV. This was explained to people for weeks, but it seems lots of them did not get the message—even with a large bug in the corner of the screen identifying the broadcasts as being oriented toward one of the two...
Don Cherry Tries, And Fails, To Pronounce The Name "Jacoby Ellsbury"
The first few syllables don't even sound human....
UNC Athlete Did Not Receive A-Minus On That Awful Rosa Parks Paper
This picture, which became the thumbnail for the whole UNC academic scandal, is not a picture of an A-minus paper. It's not even a picture of a completed paper. According to Mary Willingham, the whistleblower from the Outside The Lines piece in which the paper was shown, it is probably a draft parag...
100 Of Roger Federer's Best Shots
Someone put together a nearly 30-minute video of the top 100 shots of Roger Federer's career. Now, a Top 100 of anything borders on the absurd, but that's not really the point of this video. The point is to watch a surgical tennis player doing remarkable things. ...
Worst Intentional Walk Attempt Ever Becomes Walk-Off Home Run
Auburn lost to Ole Miss on a walk-off home run in the 13th inning Friday night on a pitch that was supposed to be the first of four intentional balls. Unfortunately, Auburn's Jay Wade threw an unintentional meatball down the middle of the plate and Ole Miss won 8-5....
Indians Fan On His Redface: "It's Cleveland Pride"
Remember all that "IIIIIIIIIIII'm probably fucking up here" supposing we did yesterday? Yeah, about that: our redface dude had no problems with his behavior and was actually in the process of setting this Native American straight about his belief that Chief Wahoo is an offensive and racist caricatur...
Nick Swisher Hits Home Run, Spells Out O-H-I-O
Nick Swisher makes it very easy to hate him, but this just cracks me up. After hitting a two-run home run in the sixth inning of the Indians home opener against the Twins, Swisher busted out this homage to the hometown Buckeyes. The Swish just loves him some good times. ...
Jared Remy Charged With Assaulting Fellow Inmate With "Dangerous Weapon"
Jared Remy, in Middlesex County Jail awaiting trial for the August 15, 2013 murder of his girlfriend, Jennifer Martel, will face new charges connected to an altercation with a fellow inmate. The should-be recidivist, and son of longtime Red Sox broadcaster Jerry Remy, is now charged with assault and...
MLB Goes After T-Shirt Company That Works With No-Kill Shelters
Arm The Animals is a small, self-styled "charitable clothing company." They make T-shirts, sell them, and donate around 15 percent of the proceeds to small, no-kill animal shelters around Los Angeles. If you go to the website, you can buy a "Pup Fiction" shirt with dog-faced Jules and Vincent brandi...
Cleveland Indians Fan In Redface Meets A Native American
For all the shit we give wrong idiot Dan Snyder, there's really no question that Cleveland's Chief Wahoo is clearly and by far the most ridiculous mascot in sports. A bunch of fans have been "de-chiefing" their gear for a few years now. This guy went the other way. ...
Columnist: Yasiel Puig Threatens To "Unravel Team" By Not Stretching
Dodgers outfielder Yasiel Puig arrived late to the stadium ahead of his team's home opener at Dodger Stadium today. Los Angeles Daily News columnist Jill Painter believes that this infraction threatens to unravel the Dodgers....
Your Field Guide To WrestleMania XXX
WrestleMania is the kind of thing you can really only discuss in superlatives: it's the biggest, the loudest, the most-hyped, the most outrageous, the most ridiculous, and the most fun. Yes, pro wrestling is a totally unique performance art, one of the last direct links to an old, weird America, etc...
Report: The Eagles Seriously Hated DeSean Jackson
Football fans are smarter than teams and media give them credit for. When the Eagles released DeSean Jackson, they could easily have said, "Jackson is a great player, but between his sometimes-spotty play and his occasional inability to get along with coaches and teammates, we don't believe he's wor...
Wily Peralta "Takes Huge Dump" In Pre-Game Player Introductions
We would say Brewers pitcher Wily Peralta took a spill, or had a fall, as the pregame festivities continued at Fenway Park. But we prefer how ESPN's Joe McDonald put it:...
This Adreian Payne Dunk Is Just Silly
The college dunk contest was last night, and even though Michigan State forward Adreian Payne didn't win the competition, he earned the unofficial victory thanks to this ridiculous dunk....
Brendon Ayanbadejo Implies Miami Traded Him For Taking Paternity Leave
The fuss about Daniel Murphy missing two games to be there for the birth of his son seemed like a total nontroversy—the Mets were OK with it, and their fans were OK with it. (Seriously. It's two games. And Daniel Murphy. And the 2014 Mets.) The only people upset were New York radio hosts. But the de...
Even When The Cubs Win, They Lose
The Chicago Cubs salvaged a win in their opening series against the Pirates with a rain-soaked 3-2 victory at PNC Park today, but it wasn't without some embarrassment. A botched bunt by Gaby Sanchez left pitcher Pedro Strop and catcher John Baker in what we might call a compromising situation....
Never Buy New Sneakers In March. Never.
These are my new shoes. I have had them for, oh, a little longer than a week. They are muddy shit, now. I tell myself that I will clean them later, but we all know that even if that does happen—even if I do not forget; even if I am not overwhelmed by the obvious futility of such an enterprise—"cl...