el Page 2322 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Fun At the Preakness
Near as anyone could tell, today's game of beer-can volleyball broke out when someone flung a brew from on top of an outhouse. That, the surrounding masses realized, looked like jolly good fun. And soon the sky filled with silver-and-foam, the silver signifying surprisingly heavy vessels of lite bee...
Jelena Is Excitable
Jelena Jankovic defeated the unseeded Alizé Cornet in straight sets to retain her title in the Italian Open before celebrating with a bit of champagne....
For Your Sunday Afternoon Viewing Pleasure
• 1:00 — Cheer: Cheerleading Worlds Competition. Admit it, you're intrigued. [ESPN2] • 1:00 — Soccer: AC Milan vs. Udinese [FSC] • 1:00 — Cars: Indianapolis 500 Qualifying. Again. [ABC] • 1:30 — Baseball: Boston Red Sox vs. Milwaukee Brewers. [TBS] • 2:00 — Golf: LPGA Tour Sybase Classic, Final Roun...
To Watch Tonight
What to watch while Jessica Alba finally stares at you for a change... • Boxing: Boxing After Dark. Check out this tremendous card of exciting young fighters, highlighted by that Gamboa character. [HBO] • Classic Boxing: Ali/Frazier III. If you haven't ever seen the Thrilla In Manilla then you aren'...
Jayhawks Believe They're In the Clear
Darrell Arthur probably shouldn't have been eligible to play for Kansas, but the school's Athletic Director doesn't seem to be too concerned with any ramifications. Jim Marchiony told the Witchita Eagle that he "can't see this affecting Kansas or Darrell Arthur," because the player's high school tr...
Boston Little League Crushes Rogue Parent, Keeps Nation Free For Democracy
A seven-year-old Boston area Little Leaguer was benched for two games recently when his mother didn't show up for her scheduled shift at the league snack bar. The Freetown Youth Athletic Association levied the penalty on the child due to his scofflaw mother, who claims that — get this — she had to w...
Anna Kournikova Will Give You 15 Minutes To Stammer
Anna Kournikova is attempting a non-tennis comeback, this time equipped with a revamped website which features a personal blog, "status" updates (latest entry :"Looking forward to tonight, going to the Chanel cruise collection fashion show with my friend." Wee.) and plenty of photos and interactive ...
To Watch Tonight
What to watch after winning your groundbreaking fart lawsuit ... • NBA: Western Conference semifinals, Game 6, New Orleans at San Antonio (9 p.m., ET). Spurs change tactics, say that this time they will try. [ESPN] • NHL: Eastern Conference finals, Game 4, Pittsburgh at Philadelphia (7:30 p.m., ET)....
Man: The Edmonds Thing Is Really Happening
Augh ... man, the Cubs really did sign Jim Edmonds. Other than Pujols or Willie McGee signing with those guys, we can't imagine our brains hurting more than they do to see this. And we're sure Cubs fans don't feel any better about it. Proceed with extreme caution, Jim; Cards fans can no longer prot...
Crazy Artist Guy Combines Michael Vick And Another Horse
You might remember last year, when a talented artist combined Michael Vick and Barbaro, causing us to spontaneously combust. Well, that artist is back, this time honoring the "great" Eight Belles....
ESPN's Featured Comment Of The Day
ESPN scoured its message boards this morning to find its cleverest, boldest, most enlightening comment, and chose this one above all others ......
Of Mice And Men
You can imagine my pride when I discovered that my two local baseball teams, the Giants and Athletics, were found to be among the worst transgressors in a recent survey of health code violations at stadium concessions. As far as Oakland's McAfee Coliseum goes, all I have to hear are the terms "overh...
And Toward Me He Charged: Charles Haley's Bananas
Being a sports reporter is, at times, an absolutely horrible job. Sure you get to watch games, travel and interact with athletes, but there is a horrendous downside. (Which is pretty much everything else.) And this is never more disturbingly clear than when a reporter has their first (or 50th) awful...
Once Again, Celtics Fans, It's Time To Panic
So, here we go again with the Celtics fans freakouts. The Hawks series, which unfathomably went seven games, never really felt in doubt, but this Cavs series is starting to look like serious trouble. Forget those historical comparisons; what would happen to Kevin Garnett's legacy if the Celtics didn...
Terrell Owens Might Have A Future In This Film Business
So, remember that Terrell Owens porn film cameo that had everyone up in arms? Owens' representatives desperately tried to make everyone take it down — us included — and did all they could to sweep it under the rug. But is Owens more involved with the porn world than we thought? A recent interview wi...
Ah, The Cultural Rewards Of Major League Baseball
The life of a Japanese player, when assimilated into a Major League Baseball clubhouse, can be difficult. You have to learn parts of other languages, deal with cultural differences you hadn't anticipated and, mostly, deal with the odd duck that is Jonathan Papelbon....
Zero To Three In Six Seconds
Somewhere, Neal Ball and Bill Wambsganss are smiling (which is creepy, because they're dead). They finally get to welcome another member into the Cleveland Unassisted Triple Play Club, as Asdrubal Cabrera made the magic happen on Monday night against the Blue Jays. It was the 14th unassisted triple ...
LeBron's Mother Is Not Someone With Whom You Should Trifle
Last night's Celtics-Cavaliers Game 4 tilt will be remembered for two things: First, LeBron James' ridiculous, "you know, I could do this all the time if I really wanted" driving dunk, and, mostly, James' mother yapping at the Celtics who were wrapping her poor boy, and James responding with a subtl...
Celtics Shown Up By LeBron, Punked By LeBron's Mom
The NBA Closer is written by Matt McHale, who's starting to think Tuesday is the new Monday. When he's not wishing he was still chillin' in bed, he can be found rubbing his chin in a thoughtful way at Basketbawful. Enjoy!...