el Page 2323 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Pink Bats, Red Faces; This One's For You, Mom
Here we go, writing about breasts again. Mother's Day was Sunday, and you know what that means: The pink bats were back. And while that's good for the fight against breast cancer, it was bad for the Cincinnati Reds, who just seemed to be horribly disoriented by the unfamiliar flashing colors. I supp...

An Indian Offensive 'SPLOSION!
The Cavs victory wasn't the only thing Mistake by the Lakers celebrated yesterday while eagerly awaiting their next 23-cent pizza day. Grady Sizemore homered twice and drove in five runs to propel the Tribe to a 12-0 throttling of the Blue Jays. It's enough to get Indians fans off their ice cream he...

The Happiest Place On Earth, After Mom's Favorite Antique Store
For the last post before Mother's Day, it would only be appropriate to feature the professional athlete who's the closest to his mother. That would be Super Bowl MVP Buster Bluth Eli Manning, who finally took his requisite parade float down Main Street of Disneyland on Wednesday after missing it in ...

Ex-Associate Claims In Book That O.J. Confessed To Murder While High
The Associated Press (via SportsbyBrooks) got the advance scoop on a book to be released Monday by Mike Gilbert, a memorabilia dealer who profited off O.J. Simpson for years, claiming Simpson admitted to killing his ex-wife, Nicole Brown Simpson, after he was acquitted for her murder....

Reports Of Limatime's Demise Greatly Exaggerated
A few weeks ago, it seemed, the world was faced with the sad prospect of bidding farewell to Limatime when reports surfaced out of Korea that he had been released by the Kia Tigers. Mope no longer, lovers of exuberant pitchers with stacked wives, for not only is Limatime born anew with the Tigers, ...

Here She Comes, Here Comes Speed Racer
Quite a messy day of Indy 500 practice yesterday, with Danica Patrick's car clipping Dale Coyne Racing crewman Charles Buckman and sending him to the hospital with a concussion. Meanwhile, rookie driver Alex Lloyd hit a wall at 223 mph during a practice run and Mario Dominguez got in a minor wreck t...

Papelbon's Control Goes On The Lam
Mike Lamb, he of the .213 average and no homers in 94 at-bats, was the latest to victimize the Red Sox closer, who has blown back-to-back saves. That leaves him one short of his mark through all of last season. Papelbon opened the 9th by allowing a single to Delmon Young, who advanced to third on a...

The Flyers Are Not Fond Of Game 1s
Sure, the Flyers eventually knuckled under to the Penguins' explosive attack after getting up early, but they're clearly just setting up the Pens like they did to the Caps and the Habs. Philly has lost the opener in each of its three series this postseason. The Pens have even gone as far as to crib ...

To Watch Tonight
What to watch after finishing your Little Golden Book ... • Boxing: Junior welterweights, Mike Arnaoutis vs. Lanardo Tyner, at Atlantic City, (10 p.m., ET, same-day tape). Hey, I was going to name my son Lanardo! [ESPN2] • NBA: Western Conference semifinals, Game 3, Los Angeles Lakers at Utah Jazz (...

Michael Vick Might Run Out Of Money Sometime Soon
Michael Vick has now been in jail for about six months, and though he still has at least a year-and-a-half to go, he's not immune to bad news from outside the prison. As if possibly had any money left, now the Canadians are after him....

Pizza Madness Grips Ohio
OK, it wasn't quite THAT bad. But Papa John's 23-cent pizza promotion in Northeast Ohio on Thursday did draw enormous crowds, and wasn't completely peaceful. Aside from some stores running out of pizzas, there were shoving matches and verbal altercations as people waited in line for discount pies fo...

To Watch Tonight
What to watch after reading your kids a bedtime story ... • NBA: Eastern Conference semifinals, Game 2, Cleveland at Boston (7 p.m., ET); Western Conference semifinals, Game 3, New Orleans at San Antonio (9:30 p.m., ET). We welcome our new Hornets overlords. I can be helpful in finding people to toi...

O How We Love The Wisconsin
If you are interested in the dumbing-down of the culture that we and our ilk gleefully purvey on a regular basis, and you happen to live in the greater Milwaukee area, we remind you to come out tonight and join us in Brookfield, Wisc., for another step in the GSTF book tour....

LeBron James Has Obviously Never Been A Waiter
Anbody who's ever been a waiter in their life realizes that it can be a dreadfully demeaning job. Regardless of how much tip money you collect for five hours of work (most of which usually go back into the restaurant during the post-shift decompression time at the bar) there's always a moment when y...

Previewing The Flyers-Penguins
The Deadspin NHL Playoff Previews are brought to you the five wealthiest people in the world known as the MYFO Pentaverate. They blog from a secret country mansion known as the Meadows. Beware their wee beady eyes and those smug looks on their faces. Today, Hextall454 breaks down the Eastern Confer...

Rocky Statue: Target Of Penguin Terrorist Plot?
You may remember just a week ago that during the Montreal Canadiens/Flyers playoff series, some amped-up Habs fans decided desecration of the Rocky statue would be a good way to show team spirit and ward off an inevitable early round exit. Didn't work....

Shout At The Dogleg
It's no secret that former hair metal icons began replacing their Aqua Net and sperm-killing lyrca with Tommy Bahama wardrobes as soon as most of them hit their 30s. Alice Cooper's like a five handicap, Tico Torres from Bon Jovi's 12.1, and, hey, even Tommy Lee's a 33....

It's PETA's World, We Just Live In It
When future generations study the first decade of the 21st Century, the debate of course will turn to the Great Racehorse Protests of 2008. In the wake of the Eight Belles tragedy at the Kentucky Derby, PETA is bringing all guns to bear on the remaining Triple Crown events; planning protests at the ...

MLB To 'Draft' Negro League Veterans; Mets To Overpay The Pitchers As Usual
Whenever Dave Winfield and Bud Selig come together to cook up an idea, you know it's going to be good. Reportedly it was the two of them who came up with this one: a ceremonial draft of Negro League veterans by all of the Major League teams, to be held next month. Expect the Nationals to actually in...

Merciful God Answers Prayers, Ends Game 1 Of Cavs-Celts Series
The NBA Closer is written by Matt McHale, who woke up this morning without Internet access and had to rush off to a Caribou Coffee, where the "free WiFi hotspot" actually cost him a bag of Deep River potato chips. When he's not finding a way to do his Deadspin column at the last second, he can be fo...