el Page 2349 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
SHOTY Elite Eight: Elijah Dukes Vs. Gilbert Arenas
At last, we have completed the endless first round of the 2007 Sportshuman Of The Year tournament. It only took a month. Now we're down the nitty-gritty: The Elite Eight....
About Last Night
What you missed while collecting your free $25 ... • NFL: Call off the dogs! ... um, I mean, Saints 34, Falcons 14. • NBA: This just in ... Knicks lose, blame their fans. • NHL: Former Paul McCartney band beats Predators 2-1....
Tonight's Episode Of The Vick Bowl
Under normal circumstances, this would be what we'd call a "dull" Monday Night Football game, the Saints at the Falcons. In the wake of the Ron Mexico business today, it is upgraded/downgraded to "insufferable."...
Vick Sentenced To 23 Months In Jail
Word has come down from Richmond, Virg.: Michael Vick has been sentenced to 23 months in prison. Prosecutors had recommended 12-18 months in jail, but Judge Henry Hudson went above that. Considerably....
Everything Can Change In A Blink
For the rest of 2007, the NHL Closer will be written by the fine folks at Melt Your Face Off. Enjoy....
Tebow Wins Heisman, Loves Jesus
I didn't watch the Heisman Trophy presentation show (what's the point?) but I've been assured that Tim Tebow did in fact win. As a Gator fan of some 20 years I'm quite happy for Superman, but I'm not going to bludgeon you over the head with my homerism the way Tebow does with all of that god talk. O...
To Watch Tonight
What to watch as firefighters attempt to "Free Willy" ... • College football: NCAA Division I Championship Subdivision playoffs, semifinal, Richmond at Appalachian State. 'Nuff said. [ESPN2] • College women's soccer: NCAA Division I College Cup, semifinal, Notre Dame vs. Florida State, College Stati...
He Seems To Have Thought Of Everything: How In The World Did This Not Work?
So this guy robs a bank, and during his getaway he stops at a salon about a block away for hair extensions and a manicure (by now you've guessed that this occurred in Florida). But that's not the best part. The loot he stole was booby trapped, and during his escape it exploded, covering him in red d...
Ring In The New Year With Kwame Brown
We can't think of any athlete more worthy of a special VIP table than Kwame Brown; it seems the perfect pre-Rose Bowl palate cleanser. But we hope no one brings a cake....
All For Naught
The NBA Closer is written by our own Canadian weekend maestro J.E. Skeets. When he's not busy scouring the box scores, he can be heard on The Basketball Jones daily podcast. Huzzah!...
To Watch Tonight
What to watch as you finally achieve peace of mind ... • College basketball: Syracuse at Virginia; West Virginia vs. Auburn, at Birmingham, Ala. I'll bring the soy sauce. [ESPN2] • College basketball: Georgetown vs. Alabama, at Birmingham, Ala. Hope the hush puppies vendor gets here soon. [ESPN] • N...
Robert Wuhl Is Still Getting Work, Kind Of
Sometimes we feel bad for Robert Wuhl. Sure, "Arliss" was pretty horrible, but the guy was in Batman and Bull Durham, and all he has to show for it are some lingering hangers-on friendships with past-their-prime former athletes. (We doubt LeBron ever knew his show existed.) But hey: At least he gets...
Fat Guy, Skinny Guy Shipped To Detroit
As was first reported (kinda) by Sports Review Magazine, baseball had its first big trade yesterday. The Marlins sent Miguel Cabrera and Dontrelle Willis to the Tigers for six guys, though we think the actual amount of tonnage exchanged was close to equal....
Introducing The Dugout's "Football Guys"
We have made no secret of our enduring love of The Dugout, both in its original incarnation and its current, non-expletive form at AOL Sports. But you think these guys just know baseball? Pshaw....
SHOTY First Round: Ron Mexico Vs. Mark Mangino
Pretty much every first-round SHOTY matchup has been a blowout. And we doubt this No. 1 vs. No. 16 matchup will be much different....
Stephen A. Smith Imagines A Utopian Society Without Bloggers
It's the question that has plagued scientists for the better part of a decade: Is there life inside of Stephen A. Smith's head? It would be foolish to rule it out ... after all, life can take many forms, including the smallest of single-cell organisms. But as of now, NASA has no plans beyond sendi...
Zambonis On Fire!
We are proud to welcome famed hockey journalist James Mirtle to the post of NHL Closer writer this week....
Another Night That The Patriots Run The NFL
Sometimes it seems like the only major drama left in the NFL swirls around Bill Belichick and the New England Patriots. We're almost as fascinated with the Dolphins' losing streak as we are with the Patriots' winning one, but tonight, "Monday Night Football" will reap the national benefits....
Winslow Soldiers A Catch, But You Didn't See It, And It Didn't Happen
Tiny tidbits and info smidgens from Week 13 of the NFL ......
Even Australia Frowns Upon Drinking And Torturing Animals
It may not be dogfighting or cat juggling, but quokka abuse ranks right up there in the annals of asshattery. And a couple of Australia's finest rugby players are guilty of abusing the endangered marsupial animal on Rottnest Island. (In their defense, they appeared to be drunk.)...