el Page 2424 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
You're Doing A Heckuva Job, Swanny
After months of hinting and posturing (we mean, testing the waters. Sorry), Steelers Hall of Fame wide receiver Lynn Swann made the big announcement last week — he's running for governor of Pennsylvania. Swann, a football commentator for ABC, hopes to earn the Republican Party endorsement for the ...
Soccer Players Shouldn't Date Hot Topless Women
Our mystery soccer correspondent files this report of Chelsea soccer star Joe Cole being beaten to a pulp over a Page 3 girl (Link NSFW)....
Cabrera's Linguisitic Transgressions
On the surface, the news that a complaint has been filed against Florida Marlins wunderkind outfielder Miguel Cabrera for an incident outside a Venezuela club seems pretty rote, just another athlete "scuffle" at a bar. But the story from the Ft. Lauderdale Sun-Sentinel confuses us so much we can't...
Look Out For The Black Mamba. (Relax, We Don't Mean Literally)
We hate to be the ones who have to point this out, but after all we've made fun of him for — with our personal favorite still being Chuck Klosterman's notion that the Lakers are like "an eighth-grade intramural team which happens to have one kid with a mustache" — it's worth noting that the man no...
Is Baseball's Top Shoulder Doc OK?
Buried in a Houston Chronicle story about Jeff Bagwell's rehab of his right shoulder was this disturbing tidbit:...
Redskins Surprisingly Effective Car Salesmen
With the Redskins improbably advancing to the NFL's Final Eight, we're obviously going to be ratcheting up the Clinton Portis coverage even more than we already have, if that's not terrifying enough for you. As a little appetizer, though, we present you this gaggle of advertisements for Easterns A...
Fiction Is Actually Stranger Than Kobe's Truth
Further showcasing the almost impressive casual racism of the porn industry, a reader sends us the link to this very special porn film: Tobey Bryan's Backcourt Violation, from our classy friends at Hustler....
NFL Playoff Roundup: Riiiiipppppp!
• Honestly, we know this was covered all weekend, but man, that Carson Palmer thing was the worst playoff moment we can remember. We think Buzzsaw That Is The Arizona Cardinals have it tough; Bengals fans finally get in the playoffs, and two plays in, their Pro Bowl QB tears an ACL and MCL. (Quest...
Steelers vs. Bengals - 4th Quarter
• James Farrior comes up with an interception of Jon Kitna. And it's not the interception itself that's ending this game, but the tidal wave of momentum that appears to be on the Steelers side....
Steelers vs. Bengals - 3rd Quarter
• Bonnie Bernstein lets us know that Carson Palmer has a torn ACL, and the Bengals hope he'll be ready for training camp next year. Ouch. What a very Bengal thing to happen. You have my sympathy, Bengals fans....
Steelers vs. Bengals - 2nd Quarter
• The Steelers answer and grab a little bit of the momentum back with a touchdown via a Ben Roethlisberger to Willie Parker screen pass. 10-7 Bengals....
Steelers vs. Bengals - 1st Quarter
• Chad Johnson spent his time before the game hanging out in the parking lot with Bengals tailgaters. Hopefully, he's sober....
Playoff Pants Party: Steelers Vs. Bengals
For some reason, we're more excited about this playoff game than any of the others, though we know we're in the minority. We think it's because the NFL world is always happier and more in balance when you see teams like the Bengals — or the Texans, or the Lions, or (lo!) the Buzzsaw — make the playo...
Blogdom's Best: Hating The Tar Heels
Perhaps nothing says hatred like college athletics. We have witnessed the body painting, we have seen the flaming objects hurled onto the court. Yes, we have seen the pants waving from atop the flag pole. And today, we salute those pants. We believe that college athletics were invented to give stude...
New Vikings Coach Sporting Rare Mustache/Baldness Combo
Today, the Minnesota Vikings will announce that Eagles offensive coordinator Brad Childress will be their new coach, or, if you can't resist making the same joke everybody else is making this morning, captain of their ship. Childress has been with the Eagles for seven years, and, having seen Requi...
Support Michelle Kwan's Right To Fall Down
We're not going to get in the habit of talking about figure skating around these parts, but we will confess, we taken much interest and, yes, enjoyment, in the plight of Professional Face Of Figure Skating Michelle Kwan....
Blogdom's Best: Hating The Maple Leafs
Imagine the most hateful sports fans you can think of, stuck indoors because of the frigid weather, allowing their fury to boil. Now give them large sticks. That's your typical NHL fan, just looking for a reason to hate the opposing team. Throw in that whole Canada-USA rivalry thing, and you've go...
Mel Kiper Jr.'s Thick "Fingers"
We generally don't like to make fun of spelling mistakes here, because we make them as much as anyone (and don't get us started on our italics woes)....
Why Your Hometown Columnist Sucks: Steve Kelley
"Steve Kelley looked at his column. He had only one sentence so far, so he hit the "enter" key and described it. Then he did that for the second sentence, and he was three paragraphs in. Soon, his column-inch target would be met. But not soon enough for Kelley." Our thanks to DMZ at U.S.S.Mari...
Elton Brand Is No Yuppie Scum
It's possible this has been around for a while, but we hadn't seen it. Apparently, a Duke fan got a hold of former Dookie Elton Brand's email address and lambasted him for leaving the Blue Devils early for the NBA. Brand, if the email is to be trusted, was less than amused....