el Page 2425 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Palmeiro Gets His Family Circus On
Remember during the steroid trials, when Sammy Sosa inexplicably forgot how to speak english? Rafael Palmeiro, albeit a few months late, apparently is trying to same tactic....

Big Ben's Prom Date
We were just sent this infinitely amusing photo from Saturday's Steelers-Browns game. This woman apparently went to prom with Pittsburgh quarterback Ben Roethlisberger and is broadcasting it to the world. (This is why being famous is terrifying; somewhere out there, there are pictures of our junio...

Tuna About To Spoil?
ESPN's Chris Mortensen reported this morning that Cowboys head coach Bill Parcells is considering retiring at the conclusion of this year. Cowboys owner Jerry Jones is pushing him to sign an extension, but the death of Parcells' brother a few weeks ago has him thinking retirement, according to Mor...

Steelers Putting Their Thing Down
Those of you who are hoping for a Browns upset over the Steelers today are likely to end up quite sad. Steelers QB Ben Roethlisberger is apparently still quite bitter about the afore-mentioned Mr. Football snub, and he's playing his best ball of the year....

Raef Lafrentz's Silent Dance
In the mood for some psychedelic hip-hop about the Boston Celtics? Who isn't? It's our lucky day....

Blogdom's Best: Hating The Browns
We've been poring over so many NFL hater blogs lately that we're beginning to feel like Mr. Potter from "It's a Wonderful Life," or worse yet, Al Davis. We long to examine other areas of hate, preferably ones which do not include 350-pound persons who could hurt us. So after today, we will shift g...

Soccer Coaches And Their Holiday Etiquette
Our soccer correspondent informs us that the coaches of Chelsea and Arsenal are fighting again. And this is for the best reason of all. Here's his report:...

How 'Bout That Darrell Armstrong?!
We've always wondered what would happen if we ended up a semi-prominent public figure in, say, Chicago, or Iowa City, Iowa. As lifelong Cardinals and Illini boosters, it would be impossible for us to hide our loyalties; we couldn't pretend to root for the Cubs or the Hawkeyes even if our livelihoo...

Chris Kaman: Even Weirder Than You Think
We've given the Los Angeles Times' Bill Plaschke his fair share of grief, but we must give credit where it is due: His column yesterday on bizarro Clippers center Chris Kaman is pretty outstanding stuff. We might even go so far as to call ourselves tickled....

Professor Irvin's Class Is In Session
The Miami Herald points us in the direction of something that was new to us: The Michael Irvin Academic Resource Academy. Irvin recently dedicated the "learning center" in Ft. Lauderdale, and whatever our thoughts about Irvin, it's difficult to find much fault in the gesture. Its goal is to help "...

How Could We Forget About Ron?
Last Friday, when we looked back at the month of April in our daily "Year In Review" segment, we made probably our biggest gaffe since starting this site: We, somehow, forgot to include Ron Mexico....

NFL Roundup: Sad Colts, Happy Bolts
• We'll confess, we were actually kind of rooting for the Colts not to finish 16-0. Not because we have anything against them — we don't, save for maybe a suspicion that Edgerrin James did a guest spot on the seventh floor crew — but because we will never have faith in Tony Dungy and Peyton Chessn...

Clearing The 4 o'clock Table...
• Cleveland 9, Oakland 7. If you watched this one, you're a diehard Browns fan, a diehard Raiders fan, or a person with severe emotional problems, and I'm worried about you. Let's get you some help. • Bengals 41, Detroit 17. Even Chad Johnson knows that it's bad form to celebrate the mundane accom...

Pittsburgh Leading The Other Relevant Game
The Steelers have a 7-point lead in the only other relevant game being played at 1 o'clock. Ben Roethlisberger scored on a 12-minute 3-yard touchdown run for the Steelers....

Today In The Premiership...
I don't know a whole lot about soccer, but I'm trying to learn... and I'm dragging you along with me, kicking and screaming....

Athlete Run-In: Nick The Quick Knows What Ladies Like
We've had a few protests over our upcoming hiatus from the athlete run-in stories. We're flattered that you like them so much, and we promise they will be back after the new year. We just don't want to rely on them, that's all. We're still taking your great ones at [email protected]. So send 'em o...

Athlete Run-In: El-Amin And His Sandwich
We always loved former Connecticut point guard Khalid El-Amin, because we always like point guards who are shorter than us yet still weigh more. Today's first athlete run-in story is about our man Khalid. It comes from Eric in New Hampshire....

Blogdom's Best: Hating The Steelers
Previously we have examined the great fan blogs of the NFL and Major League Baseball, and what an interesting journey it was. But every great story needs a strong antagonist, and to that end we now present the anti-blogs — those Web chronicles devoted to abhorrence and loathing — what the French c...

Freddie Mitchell: Still Alive, Apparently
Well, last night was Terrell Owens' 32nd birthday party in Atlantic City, and reports are filing in. Not surprisingly, the biggest star of the show was former Eagles receiver Freddie Mitchell, or, as he might be known, "Terrell Owens if Terrell Owens was 85 percent less talent and 27 percent more...

Kobe's Four-Year Moratorium On The Word "Sex"
Quote: "My nose is a little crooked, man. I'm normally super, super sexy. I'm just super sexy now." — Kobe Bryant, after being kicked in the face by the Timberwolves' Anthony Carter...