emo Page 44 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Report: The Olympics Opening Ceremony Features Gisele Bündchen Getting Assaulted<em></em>
That supermodel Gisele would have a role in this week’s Olympics opening ceremony was a given, and previous reports indicated the Brazilian supermodel would have a “sexy starring role.” But reports from witnesses of Sunday’s opening ceremony dress rehearsal explained to Brazil’s UOL that Tom Brady’s...
Spectators Hospitalized After Driveshaft Goes Flying Into Crowd At Demolition Derby
Three people went to the hospital after a truck’s driveshaft was catapulted into the crowd at a Utah demolition derby. The videos are a terror:...
The RNC And The DNC Are Finally Over; Did Anything Actually Happen?<em></em>
After eight days of American flag lapel pins and canned applause lines, the major political parties’ nominating conventions—the Republican National Convention (RNC) and the Democratic National Convention (DNC)—have finally come to an end. As many observers long expected, the Democrats selected Hilla...
Communists' DNC Flag-Burning Interrupted By DeSean Jackson Fanboy
The Revolutionary Communist Party and First Amendment pioneer Gregory Johnson staged a flag burning outside the Democratic National Convention today, only to find a Philadelphia Eagles fan taking objection to their attempt at free-speech fulmination....
Iowa Football Player Playing <i>Pokémon Go</i> Mistaken For Bank Robber, Held At Gunpoint By Police
Faith Ekakitie, a rising senior defensive lineman at Iowa, was minding his own business—he had taken a walk to a park to play some Pokémon Go, as one does. That’s when he was confronted by Iowa City police with guns drawn....
Clinton Courts Crucial Boring Whites Demographic With Kaine VP Nom<em></em>
Sure, history says this is what was expected. The Democrats have given us Joe Biden, better known for his flubs than his actual oratory execution; Al Gore, whose “look at how hard I am acting like I am hot for my wife” kiss is impossible to forget; and Walter Mondale, whose face I cannot picture at ...
Eugene Monroe Retires From NFL, Citing Fear Of CTE
Eugene Monroe is 29 years old and a starting-caliber left tackle, but was curiously released by the Ravens this offseason, a move Monroe believes was caused by his outspoken advocacy of medical marijuana. Today, Monroe retired from the NFL over health concerns....
Minnesota United Goalkeeper Concedes Maybe The World's Dumbest Own Goal
I am wary of lapsing into superlatives over every old highlight, but with that qualifier out of the way, this might be the dumbest own goal I have ever seen....
Boar Emerges From The Sea, Unleashes Fury Upon Beachgoers
A beautiful dark boar emerged from sea foam and barreled onto the beach, in a vision out of Greek myth....
Kent Bazemore Gets Emotional While Discussing Decision To Return To Atlanta
It wasn’t so long ago that Kent Bazemore was the scrub on the end of the Warriors’ bench who wasn’t known for anything other than his enthusiastic celebrations. He’s since fashioned himself into a solid swingman, and was one of the more sought-after free agents in this summer’s class. He chose to re...
Pokémon I Want To Eat, Ranked
Pokémon canon appears to ignore the very real issue of carnivory. Is there Pokémon husbandry? Which Pokémon are raised, or hunted, or caught and trapped as food? Can vegetarians eat Bulbasaur? Nintendo has dodged this issue too long. These are the Pokémon I think would be tastiest....
All My Pokémon Are Boring Trash Idiots
This weekend, I walked around Central Park—a hub for Pokémon Go enthusiasts, apparently—for about three hours trying to catch some good pocket monsters. All I got was a flock of Pidgeys. I hate them....
Try Not Caring About The Latest Fad
So everyone is obsessed with this new Pokémon game, and, after gauging the early potential way wrong, you’re already hopelessly out of touch with this newest mania. Maybe you lack the necessary nostalgia to find the conceit all that appealing, falling as you do right into a narrow age bracket that c...
We Live Among Pokémon Now
All the world is tall grass, thanks to the augmented reality of Pokemon Go, which saw its US release yesterday. A coworker snagged a Pidgey in our offices; I’m going fishing tonight for Magikarp. The creatures menace us everywhere....
The White Sox's Disco Demolition Riot Was Even More Insane Than You Thought<em></em><em></em>
This month marks the 37th anniversary of the Disco Demolition riots, which took place at Chicago’s Comiskey Park in 1979. The White Sox and a local radio station put together one of the most ill-conceived, successful promotions in sports history, wherein they sold tickets to a doubleheader against t...
José Mourinho Is Back, And He's His Old Shit-Talking Self
The José Mourinho Era at Manchester United officially kicked off today as the Portuguese manager was finally unveiled for the job he’s not-so-secretly pined after for years and we’ve all known he would get for months. Judging by the track suit he slipped into for the photo op on Old Trafford’s pitch...
Deadspin Awards: Most Offensive Media Personality
The Deadspin Awards are in July, and we need our readers to decide the winners of these prestigious honors. Today, we ask you to help us determine the answer to an important question: Who is the most offensive media personality of them all?...
Eugene Monroe Says He Won't Stop Fighting To Bring Medical Marijuana To The NFL
On Wednesday, the Baltimore Ravens released offensive lineman and marijuana advocate Eugene Monroe. It’s still not clear why the team cut a healthy, starting-caliber player in June, but whatever the reason, Monroe doesn’t sound disheartened....
![Ravens Want To Unload Marijuana Advocate Eugene Monroe [Update]](https://images.deadspin.com/tr:w-900/kd3sxkvem5o8fqhmafes.jpg)
Ravens Want To Unload Marijuana Advocate Eugene Monroe [Update]
Eugene Monroe, when healthy, is a starting left tackle. He’s also an outspoken advocate for the use of marijuana as a safe, effective, and nonaddictive way to manage pain. Though he announced that he had been medically cleared to play on June 8, he’s been held out of practice, and the Baltimore Rave...
Deadspin Awards: Worst Mascot
The Deadspin Awards are in July—keep your eyes on this space to see how you can win tickets to the event—and we need our readers to decide the winners of these prestigious honors. Today, we ask you to vote on one of the most important of all questions: Who is the worst mascot of all?...