EPL Page 38 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Hirshey: Sentencing The Children To A Lifetime Of Pain
David Hirshey writes regularly about soccer for Deadspin....
Hirshey: Hey, Have Somebody Taste That Wine
David Hirshey writes regularly about soccer for Deadspin....
Hirshey: Meeting The Deadspin Three
David Hirshey writes regularly about soccer for Deadspin....
Hirshey: Coach Fight!
David Hirshey writes regularly about soccer for Deadspin....
Hirshey: The Return Of Rooney
David Hirshey writes regularly for Deadspin about soccer....
Hirshey: Praising The Enemy, Begrudgingly
Though I would sooner have a wolverine or even Jermaine Defoe chew my arm off than be caught pimping for Manchester United, I do admit to having a soft spot for two players in the club's 114-year history....
Today In The Premiership...
Chelsea 2-1 Portsmouth. Chelsea is again back at the top of the standings, thanks in part to Andriy Shevchenko's first goal at Stamford Bridge. Michael Ballack also scored, making it a goal each for Chelsea's two big off-season whores. Portsmouth goalie David James was about the only thing keeping...
Hirshey: Don't Blame It On The Meds
Let's not beat around the bush: ARSENAL WILL WIN THE PREMIERSHIP. That is not a statement I imagined I would be making as recently as a month ago, and one that has absolutely nothing to do with the fistful of painkillers I'm required to take every day since tearing the miniscus in my left knee att...
Today In The Premiership...
• Aston Villa 1-1 Tottenham. The day could've been so much worse for Juan Pablo Angel. Instead of missing the net on a penalty kick, three minutes later heading one into his goal, losing the game, and ending up in the trunk of a hooligan's car with his head wrapped in duct tape and his shoes on fi...
Hirshey: We Like Our Ukrainians FLAMING!
David Hirshey, now able to eat during daylight hours again, writes regularly about soccer for Deadspin....
Today In The Premiership...
• Everton 1-1 Manchester City. Rough day for Everton fans. First, they saw City defender Micah Richards steal a win from them with a goal in the 4th minute of injury time. Then Richards gave a profane television interview. Then City midfielder Joey Barton showed Everton fans his ass. The police ar...
Hirshey: Tottenham Just Can't Score
David Hirshey writes regularly about the Premiership for Deadspin....
Hirshey: Sweetness And Light In The Prem
David Hirshey writes weekly about the Premiership for Deadspin....
Today In The Premiership...
• Everton 3-0 Liverpool. Now that is how you embarrass a rival team. The Toffees served up an ass-beating to their neighbors, with Tim Cahill putting Everton on the board in the 23rd minute, and Andrew Johnson finishing Liverpool off with goals in the 35th and the 90th. Everton finds themselves at t...
Your Non-Headbutting European Soccer Update
We don't know a lot about soccer, but even we know that this doesn't appear to be cricket. In a move not seen since Brandon Cruz pitched for a Little League team named the Yankees in the film Bad News Bears, Chelsea's William Gallas has threatend to score an own goal if club manager Jose Mourinho fa...
Today In Soccer...
The Premiership is taking the day off, due to some Euro 2008 qualifying games, and some other international friendlies going down. But the big story right now is Carlos Tevez moving from Brazilian club Corinthians to Premiership team West Ham. A guy like Tevez, you'd think would prefer a bigger club...
Collect Your Miniature Violent Soccer Fans
See, here's an idea we can get behind. A British toy company is producing Little Hooliganz, actions figures of the crazed fans of each of the English Premiership teams. You've got Terrible Henry from Arsenal, Dangerous Dirk from Chelsea and Ard Man Aaron from Newcastle. For those who prefer their so...
Hirshey: Arsenal's Impotence
David Hirshey writes about the English Premier League for Deadspin....
Today In The Premiership...
Fulham 1-0 Sheffield United. It's Jimmy Bullard's world. You just live here. After scoring the game winner for Fulham against Bolton earlier in the week, Jimmy Bullard singlehandedly carried Fulham to victory over Sheffield United. Bullard also leads the league in pretty hair curls and weirdfuck p...
Hirshey: Arsenal Off To Sister-Kissing Start
Is it too early to award Chelsea the Prem title? I mean, why not get it over with and wrap (or even better, garotte) a Portuguese scarf around the Special One's neck, bronze John Terry's captain's armband, apologize for all the mean things we said during the World Cup about Frank "Totally Frank" L...