epo Page 9 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
How Did Donald Trump Propose?
Today, we’re talking about Trump’s marriage proposal technique, breakfast foods, Home Depot, cursing sports announcers, and more....
Trae Young Has The Freedom To Chuck These Stupid-Fun Three-Pointers From The Logo
Twenty-one games in, Hawks rookie Trae Young has had his moments. Barring catastrophic injury to Luka Doncic and Jaren Jackson Jr., and, honestly, some other dudes too, Young won’t be the Rookie of the Year, but he’s been an entertaining strain of semi-bad that you can really get behind....
Bleacher Report Accidentally Owns Ice Cream Shop Harry Giles Is Supposed To Like
Bleacher Report published a profile of Sacramento Kings center Harry Giles that opened with the most hackneyed profile technique of all time: the subject eating. This particular eating scene, however, also included 300 words of what amounted to a kind of press release about the company that makes th...
Sociopathic Barstool Founder Dave Portnoy Giddy About "Suffocating" ESPN Host Sam Ponder In "Online War"<em></em><em></em>
Barstool Sports founder president Dave Portnoy yet again has gleefully engineered a targeted harassment campaign against a woman who he thinks wronged his company....
Ramon Foster And Maurkice Pouncey Are Examples Of How The NFLPA Beats Itself
Steelers running back Le’Veon Bell, who’s currently under the franchise tag and wants a longer contract with more security, is willing to extend his holdout into the regular season, but somehow he, and not the side with all the money and all the leverage, is getting shit from his teammates....
Steelers Players Trash Le'Veon Bell And Carry Water For Ownership
It’s just a few days before the Steelers’ season starts, but running back Le’Veon Bell’s holdout is still going. His absence from team meetings today pretty much guarantees he won’t play in Week 1 (which is probably his plan, to avoid as much wear and tear on his body as he can—say, another 400-touc...
This Is The Stupidest Shit On The Entire Internet
A few weeks ago, I learned about a dystopian gathering called OzyFest where people paid real American dollars to gaze longingly at thinkfluencers and hear soup-brained psychopaths like Karl Rove host panels. The Silicon Valley–funded Ozy—which is somehow not an incisive performance art piece about o...
Milwaukee City Attorney Blames The Victim In Sterling Brown Police Brutality Lawsuit
The Milwaukee City Attorney—a man named Grant F. Langley—surprised the Mayor and anyone with even the vaguest sense of right and wrong when he filed a court document in Sterling Brown’s civil rights lawsuit Friday placing blame for police actions that led to the disciplining of 11 different officers...
Bleacher Report Founder Wins Right To Put His Sweaty Hands All Over The Gawker Archives
The archives of our former sister site Gawker now belong to this goon. Bryan Goldberg, the founder of Bleacher Report, a sports site for idiots, and Bustle, the women’s site that assumes women are stupid, won the rights to the defunct Gawker.com in a bankruptcy auction today, as reported by the Wall...
This Tour De France Is Designed To Stop Chris Froome<em></em>
The time has come once again for a few hundred skinny fellows to hop on their bikes and ride unconscionable distances, every day, for three weeks. They’ll yell at each other in various European languages, celebrate famous victories, weep over crushing defeats, crash out in horrifying ways, and gener...
Joshua Blew A Trumpet And Fell The Walls Of Jericho; Tim Tebow Blew A Fly Ball Off The Wall And It Hit Him In The Head
Look, man, I dunno how many more of these Tebow headlines I have left....
Magi Came From The East Upon Seeing Jesus’s Star; Tim Tebow Is An Eastern League All-Star
Binghamton Rumble Ponies outfielder Tim Tebow, a 30-year-old man who has admirably persisted in his dream of playing professional sports for a living, has earned himself a small token of success by being named to the Eastern League All-Star Game. Tebow has only batted .261 all season, but heated up ...
Barstool Sports Founder Tells Employee She'll Be Too Ugly To Be On Camera In Five Years
During yesterday’s edition of Barstool Radio, a show enjoyed exclusively by Deloitte interns who wish they were still in college, Barstool Sports founder Dave Portnoy said that one of his employees, 20-year-old Ria Ciuffo, would be too ugly to continue as an on-camera personality in five years. “She...
Lawsuit: Milwaukee Officer At Sterling Brown Arrest Joked About It On Facebook, Hoped To Do The Same To J.R. Smith
This morning, Bucks player Sterling Brown filed a civil lawsuit against the city of Milwaukee, Milwaukee Police Chief Alfonso Morales, and eight other MPD officers for their roles in a Jan. 26 incident where Brown was arrested and tased for no reason in a Walgreens parking lot. Videos from the night...
Did Justify Have Another Horse Blocking For Him In His Belmont Stakes Win?
On Saturday, Justify became the 13th horse in history to win the Triple Crown (and the second in the last four years, which explains the general lack of excitement—these Belmont Stakes drew the lowest ratings for a Triple Crown bid since NBC began broadcasting the race in 2001). Justify is obviously...
New Sterling Brown Arrest Videos Show Police Standing On Player's Ankle, Celebrating Overtime Pay
Milwaukee TV station WISN has obtained additional body-cam and squad-car footage from the night of Sterling Brown’s arrest, as well as new photos of Brown’s injuries. One video shows an officer standing on the Bucks guard’s ankle to prevent him from kicking them, a suggestion Brown laughs off as a...
Milwaukee Police Release Video Of Bucks' Sterling Brown Being Tackled And Tased For No Reason
Today the Milwaukee Police Department released the Sterling Brown arrest video, which confirms that Brown was not “combative” as was initially reported. You can find the 30-minute piece of body-cam footage below. One of the cops uses a taser on the Milwaukee Bucks player just after the 8:00 mark....
Milwaukee's Mayor And Cops Are Already Apologetic About The Forthcoming Sterling Brown Arrest Video
The video footage of Bucks guard Sterling Brown’s arrest is set to be released this week, and judging by how Milwaukee authorities are scrambling to do damage control, it sure seems like it’ll tell a very different story from the one police first told. Brown was arrested on Jan. 26 for resisting arr...
Is The First Pro Surfing Contest In A Wave Pool The Sport's Future, Or Its Bastardization?
LEMOORE, Calif. — Imagine a gymnastics floor routine competition in which athletes are scored on the difficulty, variety, and quality of execution of their maneuvers. Now imagine that the floor itself is in a constant state of change. It may be longer or shorter, harder or softer, weirdly curved, bu...
Policeman Provokes Groundhog To Walk Into Road So He Can Shoot It Twice
The next time someone tells you Blue Lives Matter is a misguided, stupid slogan, show them this....