ESPN Page 137 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Rick Reilly®'s <i>SportsCenter</i> Audition Tape
No, you weren't having a nightmare. Rick Reilly co-hosted the late L.A. SportsCenter last night and it was everything you could have hoped for and more. (You were hoping for stilted camera presence and lame fatherly jokes, right?)...

ESPN Now Beset By Non-Plastic Vulpine Creatures
A Deadspin operative passes along an e-mail recently sent 'round the Bristol compound, warning ESPN employees about a fox seen prowling the campus, like some physical manifestation of lurking evil....

Please Do Not Insult Mike Lupica On Twitter
No matter how ludicrous a Mike Lupica rant might be, it's probably best if you don't call him on it a public forum. Especially if you also work for ESPN: The Conglomerate....

So What Do We Do About Erin Andrews?
College football returns to us (and ESPN) tonight and that means America's Sideline Princess is back on the job. But can we talk about her without talking about that thing that we're not supposed to be talking about?...

Carolla Needlessly Rants About Simmons' "Retard Chicken Pussy" Bosses (UPDATE)
On his podcast, Adam Carolla declared that some "retard fucking hack" at ESPN wouldn't allow the Sports Male to appear on his show. The rant is a thing of beauty that earns only a minor demerit for being totally untrue....

Rick Reilly'®s New Column Has Sports Fella Overtones, Annoyed Readers Claim
Many readers have noticed a similarity to Rick Reilly®'s latest 800-and-out offering about fan loyalty and one the Sports Fella wrote in 2002, but considering that Reilly doesn't ever read Simmons (too many words!) it's unlikely he lifted it....

You're With Me, Star
A Deadspin operative in Bristol sends us this photo from ESPN's new walk of fame. "Berman has his own star," the tipster writes, "and I think I saw Bob Ley spit on it as he walked to the ESPN Cafeteria."...

Erin Andrews Opens Up To Oprah And ESPN Finally Says Something
The world waits in rapt funeral amazement September 11, when we'll see Erin Andrews props herself on the important chair with Oprah Winfrey to share her horrifying tale of peepdom with America's Mom Nation. A summary of her appearance....

The Adventures Of Blazer Girl In Bristol
Blazer Girl recently toured ESPN's Bristol compound as part of the network's 30th anniversary celebration. She encountered several strange and frightening plastic creatures. She also encountered the decoy coyotes. Her photos and a full report....

Blazer Girl In The Land Of The Plastic Coyote
These are the notorious decoy coyotes of ESPN, propped up by The Worldwide Leader In Bird Control to scare off nesting geese and captured here in terrifying synthetic predation, like Steve Phillips in those fake press conferences....

And This Is When They Fell In Love
I spent part of this morning in Bristol, Connecticut trying to get young Blazer Girl acclimated to the surroundings so she wouldn't be overwhelmed, but she appears to be doing just fine on her own....

Scoring At Home: Your <em>SportsCenter</em> Catchphrase-O-Meter
An occasional feature in which we explain and evaluate a SportsCenter anchor's pet phrase. Today's phrase: "Mahatma ... Gandhi."...

Lock Up Your Bike Racks: Deadspin Goes To Bristol
Although other overtures were made before, there's never been a better opportunity to touch the sun than this one: an invitation to participate in some of ESPN's 30-year anniversary activities....

Kenny Mayne, Hurricane Refugee?
Is Bristol sending anchors to Bermuda for weather reports? "It was something to behold. I've never been in a hurricane before," said Kenny Mayne, 50, of Connecticut, a vacationer who hopes to head back to the U.S. on Sunday." [AP]...

Did Lou Holtz Just Say That Notre Dame Will Play For The BCS Title?
Yes. Yes, he did. He doesn't think they are the second-best team in the country, but they have the "best chance" to run the table and face Florida for all the marbles. The infuriating part is that he's right....

ESPN Videos Now Include Their Own Blooper Reels, "Bitch"
The funniest part of any Burt Reynolds movie is when they roll the bloopers during the closing credits. So ESPN's video folks must have figured, "Why not just leave the part where Paul Severino starts swearing in this game preview?"...

Don Ohlmeyer Addresses Roethlisberger Story, Learns What "Ombudsman" Means
Former NBC executive Don Ohlmeyer actually opened his first ESPN ombudsman column by reciting the definition of "ombudsman" from the dictionary. And also like a bad graduation speech, he takes way too long to get to the point....

Words That Cris Carter Shouldn't Use During Live Television
me·shug·ge·neh (m-shg-n) or me·shug·ge·ner (-nr) adj. Crazy; senseless.n. One who is crazy. [ESPN/YouTube]...

ESPN Safeguards Our Delicate Sensibilities
More inane self-censorship: "When ESPN replayed both of these guys [Lou Piniella and Shane Victorino] screaming their profanities," Mike Pesca notes on Slate's sporting podcast (the ego to the Deadcast's id), "they blurred or pixelated" their mouths. Fuck that. [Slate]...

For A Brief Moment, The College Football World Was Turned On Its Head
Our thanks to all 8,358 of you who sent in this screengrab (click to enlarge), which depicts Bruce Feldman, ESPN The Magazine's college football savant, fearlessly forecasting the Florida Atlantic Owls into the national title game....