et Page 2083 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Two Ornery Golf Writers Insult Bloggers Like It's Still 2005
The Tiger Woods saga has made the old golf media guard testy because their precious game has been sullied by all this cocktail waitress-boinking coverage, and now, email hoaxes. Watch more of them type angry....

Giants Stadium Won't Sell Alcohol At Jets Final Game
In a utterly fitting tribute to their bizarre incestuous relationship, the New York Jets of New Jersey will play the final football game at Giants Stadium. They will also do it without the benefit of their traditionally sloshed fans....

So You Think NU Can Dance: Will College Basketball's Sorriest Program Make The Tournament? Week 1
A weekly feature in which author Benoit Denizet-Lewis follows the fortunes of the only BCS school to have sucked so consistently and spectacularly that it has never made the NCAA tournament, Northwestern. Current record: 10-1. Tournament prospects: Good....

Last Night's Winner: Two-Fifths Of The New Orleans Hornets
In sports, everyone is a winner—some people just win better than others. Like the two talented New Orleans Hornets who had monster games last night. The rest of their team may stink, but at least those guys looked sharp....

"Dude, Look What You Did To Your Knee!"
Indiana's return to glory was sidetracked last night when leading scorer Maurice Creek dislocated his knee cap. The response from his teammates was not exactly helpful....

Mets Win Jason Bay Sweepstakes, Capping Glorious 2009
Mike Francesa broke the news (really?) that Jason Bay is going to the Mets, pending his turn-and-cough with the doctors. Yay, for legit sports news! (Also, the Giants, worried about appearing too youthful, signed 34-year-old Mark DeRosa.) [DailyNews/AP]...

The Year In ... Rick Reilly®
Just like last year, we're counting showcasing the people, ideas and memes that made Deadspin 2009 shine. Today: Rick Reilly®....

This Is Your Monday Night Football Open Thread: Bears. Vikings. Go.
Will Brett Favre do something magical or devolve into the rickety old man of Decembers past? Will Jay Cutler serve up some Windy City Heat? Find a # that makes you feel slimmer. #MNFBears, #MNFVikings, #MNFinmypants, etc....

Leading The League In Cliché: A Treasury Of Peter King's Inane, Made-Up Statistical Categories
Drew recently brought your attention to Peter King's funny little tic of expressing abundance by saying something like, "[Person or Team X] leads the league in [Intangible Category Y]." Today? X=Steve Smith, Y=guts....

Of Ridiculous Contracts And Insubordination
The two highest paid players in their respective sports threw hissy fits and were sent home. One will play today; one might not play again. Want to guess which is which? (Hint: the one who's actually still good will play.)...

I Was There: Even The Losers Get Lucky Sometimes
There are plenty of decade retrospectives happening everywhere right now, but we'd also like you to participate. Tell us about the best game you've seen in person this decade with the tag #iwasthere. Mine: Patriots at Giants, Week 17!...
![Papa, Let Your Babies Grow Up to Date Hockey Players [Canadian Ben Bernanke Update!]](https://images.deadspin.com/tr:w-900/18f10f85e5j4ajpg.jpg)
Papa, Let Your Babies Grow Up to Date Hockey Players [Canadian Ben Bernanke Update!]
Hunky Ottawa hockey player Mike Fisher proposed to Carrie Underwood early this week, breaking Drew Magary's heart/hand. Think those brunettes look jealous now? Ha, wait til they learn how much the ring cost. UPDATE! Meet the "Canadian Ben Bernanke":...

Unfortunately, I Was There
There are plenty of decade retrospectives happening everywhere right now, but we'd also like you to participate. Tell us about the best game you've seen in person this decade with the tag #iwasthere. Mine: Duke-Notre Dame , 2007. Hear me out....

Forrest Gump Really Should Have Grown Up Somewhere Else
Silicon Valley engineers products and then exports them to the rest of the world. The latest innovation: ping-pong-playing robots disguised as small children, built from scratch to ruthlessly dominate the Olympics and win eternal glory for America. U-S-A!...

It's So Heartwarming In The D
In case you've forgotten, today is Christmas Day, and if you want to feel all fuzzy about good deeds and peace on earth, just read the Detroit Free Press. No, for real. Ernie Harwell will make your day....

The One Where We Find Out Why This Man Is Having Sex With A Car
We get a massive amount of tips in our inbox each week. Some are pretty interesting, but don't get published for one reason or another. (NSFW and NOT SAFE FOR CHRISTMAS.)...

How Can One Game Contain So Much Fail?
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and the blogosphere to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

Serena Williams Beats Out Horse For AP Female Athlete Of The Year
Yes, Zenyatta, "who capped a 14-0 career by becoming the first female horse to win the Breeders' Cup Classic" came in second. Kim Clijsters came in third. Fourth? Artie Lange. [ESPN.com]...

Everything You Need To Know About The Coming Minny-pocalypse
"When Favre changes the play at the line of scrimmage Childress bristles, even when the audible Favre calls works perfectly." Chilly's team is on the field. [ESPN]...

The Dog Ate Rick Reilly's Compendium Of Column Ideas
Remember when Rick Reilly punched up an old Sports Illustrated column and filed it fresh for ESPN? Don Ohlmeyer, the Worldwide Leader's ombudsman, sure does, and he's here to console everyone. It was all just a big misunderstanding....