et Page 2104 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Jim Rice Doesn't Like Lazy Longhairs Who Ruined Baseball
Big league Hall of Famer Jim Rice opened the World Series for Little Leaguers with a fiery speech that even the grumpiest of grumpy old men could appreciate. The message: Don't look up to today's players because they're all bums....

The One Where Crazed Loons Besmirch Lady Sizemore's Good Name
We get a massive amount of tips in our inbox each week. Some are pretty interesting, but don't get published for one reason or another....

Big Ben Hurt; You May Commence Panicking
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and the blogosphere to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

Favre's "Gunslinger" Rating In Madden Is Off The Charts
OK fanboys, fess up. When you heard a certain QB was joining the Vikings, the first thing you wondered was what his ratings in Madden will be. Here's your answer, plus Favre's ratings on a few hypothetical categories....

Jericho Scott Redux
"Some parents contend that a 13-year-old youth football player was kicked off his team because he's too good of a player." Sigh. [The Indy Channel, True/Slant]...

Insensitive NFL Sells Brett Favre Dog Jerseys!
OMG, you guys! Can you believe the Minnesota Vikings are such cold heartless bastards that they would profit off the pain of animals by selling personalized dog jerseys! It's almost like they don't care how ridiculous your pets look!...

How To Get A Woman To Start Thinking Divorce At Her Wedding
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and the blogosphere to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

Paper Tigers: Memphis Didn't Win Those Things They Won
Your new NCAA record-holder for most wins in a season: the four teams that used to hold it before Memphis won 38 in 2007-08. That's because Memphis has to vacate all of them, plus their Final Four appearance....

Ben Roethlisberger's Lawyers Stay On The Offensive
Big Ben's legal team released a series of emails and instant messages sent by his accuser that they say "prove" he did not rape that woman, Andrea McNulty. If IM messages are now irrefutable evidence, then may I suggest this....

Brett Myers Just Can't Stop Being An A-Hole
The Phillies cantankerous pitcher Brett Myers is attempting to bounce back this season to inject life into the team's depleted bullpen, but first he has to let his eye socket heal after it landed on a fist....

Deadspin I-Team: Who Is Rick Reilly's Virtual Bodyguard?
Avid readers of Rick Reilly®'s Wikipedia entry might've noticed a recent change: It is now, in every sense of the word, toothless....

Mets Third Base Coach Does Not Like My Pants And Will Not Eat My Poop Sandwich (UPDATE)
One man who's managed to keep his sunny disposition during the Mets season from hell is smooth-talking third base coach Razor Shines. Now you can ask him yes/no questions in this virtual ad and he'll answer them. All of them....

Why Your Team Sucks: Tampa Bay Buccaneers
Some people are fans of the Tampa Bay Buccaneers. But many, many more people are NOT fans of the Tampa Bay Buccaneers. This 2009 Deadspin NFL team preview is for those in the latter group....

Don Ohlmeyer Addresses Roethlisberger Story, Learns What "Ombudsman" Means
Former NBC executive Don Ohlmeyer actually opened his first ESPN ombudsman column by reciting the definition of "ombudsman" from the dictionary. And also like a bad graduation speech, he takes way too long to get to the point....

Packer Backers No Longer Taking This So Well
Maybe Dash gave you the impression that all Packer fans are being their typical polite Midwestern selves with this whole Favre business. He failed to go where even the most reserved Wisconsinite transforms into a slobbering, bloodthirsty, illiterate neanderthal: Craigslist....

The Greatest H-O-R-S-E Shot You'll See All Year
That's K-State guard Denis Clemente doing a credible impression of the Bird/Jordan "Nothing But Net" McDonald's commercials....

Welcome To The Suck
So we have Viking fans storming Winter Park. We have ESPN following Brett Favre's black SUV via helicopter....

Packer Fans Are A Bubbling Volcano Of Rage
Early reaction from Green Bay: "It just bugs me that he changes his mind." "It's up to him, I guess." "It would make for a fun season." Whoa, whoa. Come back from the ledge, guys! It's only football! [Press-Gazette, Pic]...

Even The Wives Of Nationals Players Are Miserable This Year
On Sunday, the NY Post did a shlocky rundown of the Yankee queen bees. WaPo did a similar piece on the DC baseball wives, who are far less glamorous and happy. [WaPo]...