et Page 2222 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

The Yearly Night In The Champaign Snow
We arrived in the new generation coal plant capital of the world late last night — the mayor of Mattoon, charmingly, used to coach us in baseball — so our holiday season has already begun. And we kick it off with our yearly trip to Champaign for some Illini basketball....

Submitted for Your Approval
For the rest of 2007, the NHL Closer will be written by the fine folks at Melt Your Face Off. Enjoy....

B-B-B-B-Big Shot Billups
The NBA Closer is written by our own Canadian weekend maestro J.E. Skeets. When he's not busy scouring the box scores or fighting five year olds, he can be heard on The Basketball Jones daily podcast. Enjoy....

To Watch Tonight
What to watch as clowns surround your house and lob in water balloons ... • College basketball: Memphis at Cincinnati, 7 p.m. (ET). My bearcat and I will be right in front of the TV. [ESPN2] • NBA: Detroit at Boston, 7 p.m. (ET); Phoenix at Dallas, 9:30 p.m. (ET). Your NBA Playoff semifinalists? Pos...

What One Man Can Possibly Overcome
This is Darrell Mack, star running back for Utah, which plays in something called the San Diego County Credit Union Poinsettia Bowl tomorrow night against Navy. We've heard all kinds of stories about athletes overcoming hardships to succeed on grand stages, but, man, this guy, we have no idea how he...

The People's NBA Closer
The NBA Closer is written by our own Canadian weekend maestro J.E. Skeets. When he's not busy scouring the box scores, he can be heard on The Basketball Jo— BY PAULIEWALLYJOYNER AT 9:15 AM @J.E. Skeets: Your NBA Closers suck. They're worse than the redesign! @Everyone Else: Why don't we band togeth...

The Definitive Way To Fix The BCS: Another Ridiculous Tournament!
It only seems logical, and frankly inevitable: The only way to resolve this whole BCS chaos is to have ... "playoffs to determine an NCAA playoff system." Stick with us here....

Purple Jesus And His Pop Warner Buddies
Far be it from us to impugn the reputation of a team that has won five in a row and looks, on paper, to be one of the hottest teams in the NFL, but ... heavens to Betsy, if that's what a playoff team looks like, sheesh, when's baseball season?...

Playoff Ball In December
The NBA Closer is written by our own Canadian weekend maestro J.E. Skeets. When he's not busy scouring the box scores or stretching, he can be heard on The Basketball Jones daily podcast. Enjoy!...

Gus Johnson "Loves The Internet"
Big ups to Awful Announcing, which, after considerable negotiation, landed an interview with everyone's favorite screaming announcer Gus Johnson. He seems like a friendly enough fellow....

Trail Blazers Run It To Seven
The NBA Closer is written by our own Canadian weekend maestro J.E. Skeets. When he's not busy scouring the box scores or fixing 'Nightmare Ant' dinner, he can be heard on The Basketball Jones daily podcast. Except for today. Today is a snow day! Enjoy!...

About Last Night
And now it's time for the Feats of Strength ... • NFL: Ravens should have beaten Patriots; Dolphins beat Ravens; therefore, Dolphins are as good as Patriots. • College basketball: The Tar Heels are 9-0, and Tyler Hansbrough has a headache. • NHL: Did the Sharks' Joe Thornton fire six shots, or only ...

Fins Win! Fins Win! Fins Win!
Well, we said the Dolphins had to beat the Ravens to avoid the ol' schneid season, and gosh golly gee dang it, they somehow pulled it off! In overtime! Shortly after Baltimore missed a 44-yard field goal, Greg Camarillo caught a short pass over the middle and busted off the 64-yard winner. Final sco...

To Watch Tonight
What to watch as you realize Christmas is just a week away ... • NFL: Redskins at Vikings. Arak has no idea who to cheer for. [NBC] • Hawaii Bowl: East Carolina vs. Boise State. Lei back, enjoy the game. [ESPN] • Movie: Shrek. Popeye Jones is amazing in this. [TNT] (In case you can't tell, I have no...

Setting The Tiny Four O'clock Football Table
Philadelphia at Dallas, FOX: This will be the fourth time Terrell Owens faces the Eagles since his nasty exit from Philly in '05. He had 10 catches for 174 yards and a TD in Dallas' 38-17 win over the Eagles back in early November?. So why'd I use a Romo photo instead of a T.O. one? I have no idea. ...

It's Close To Midnight And Hichori Morimoto Is Lurking In The Dark
Here is Hichori Morimoto of the Hokkaido Nippon Ham Fighters accepting his Japanese Pacific League Golden Glove award. (Umm... back row, second from the left.) Just a word from the wise, Morimoto: Maybe stick to the performance art stilts and Martian or Conehead costumes. They're much less racisty,...

Kelly Leak, Jim Duggan, Alice ... All Roiders!
I was planning on writing about the Andy Pettitte news here, but really, what is there to say? He took some human growth hormone five years ago to treat an injury and he “got caught.” Pettitte says it was the only time he tried it his career — at a time when HGH wasn’t illegal, no less — and well, I...

Where The Offense Is, Let The Great Axe Fall
New Jersey at New England, CBS: In case you've never seen that one television completely dedicated to sports, the Patriots have already locked up a first-round bye but will have revenge on their mind with Mangini's blowing-whistle Jets coming to town. And personally, I want to see heads fucking role...

For Your Sunday Afternoon Viewing Pleasure
Non-Football TV • In progress — Bowling. PBA Spartanburg [ESPNC] • In progress — Into The Blue [SHOe] • 1:00 — Pool. Women's 9-Ball Championship [ESPN] • 1:00 — U.S. Marshals [SPIKE] • 1:30 — The Jackal [USA] • 2:00 — Shanghai Noon [TBS] • 2:00 — National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation [TBS] • 2:30 — ...

Duncan Returns, Does Little, Spurs Still Win
The NBA Closer is still written by me. I only kept this awkward italicized intro here so I could link to The Basketball Jones podcast. Why? Because hits brings a big ol' smile to Tas' face. Enjoy!...