ew Page 2535 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
It's An Enthusiastic Crowd At Rogers Centre Tonight, Especially These Two Blue Jays Fans Who Got A Bit Handjobby
Blowjob pantomimes are so passé. I mean, you can find them in hockey, in baseball, and even college football. For the new wave, we must look to Canada....
Something Very Weird Happened At The End Of Tonight's Ohio Lottery Numbers Announcement [UPDATE]
We're legitimately concerned about the health of Ohio Lottery host Karen Kawolics tonight, as she appeared to have significant issues getting through the nightly announcement of the state's lotto numbers....
Former NBA Player Javaris Crittenton Indicted On Murder Charges
You've probably forgotten about Javaris Crittenton by now. He's the guy who threatened to shoot Gilbert Arenas in the knee over an unpaid boo-ray debt in January of 2010, and was then accused of murdering a 22-year-old mother of four in August of 2011. Crittenton has been out on bond since being cha...
I Have No Idea What This <i>Upstream Color</i> Movie Is About, But It Is Awesome
To make a list of things I do not understand about Shane Carruth's Upstream Color would be to simply list everything that happens in the movie. But lemme try out some questions on you anyway: Who is the man who kidnaps a woman and drugs her by feeding her a worm? And why does that worm cause her to ...
Why Your Children's Television Program Sucks: <i>Dora The Explorer</i>
A look at the awful children’s programming you’re forced to endure before you can finally kick the kids out of the TV room to watch sports for eight hours. Illustration by Jim Cooke....
Magic Johnson Has A Gay Son, And He Is Very Charming
Until today, we had no idea that Magic Johnson's 20-year-old son, Earvin Johnson III, was gay. We only know this now because someone from TMZ decided to badger Johnson III about the Dodgers, bathrooms, and the Lakers while he was trying to walk down the Sunset Strip with someone who appears to be hi...
Meet Steve Alford, UCLA's Future Former Basketball Coach
Few people have perfected the art of professional escape like Steve Alford, the newly former New Mexico coach who is now the future former coach of UCLA. Nine days after getting drummed out of the NCAA tournament by Haaarvaaard and two days before his 10-year, $20 million contract with the Lobos was...
Everything Sold At The Yankees' New "Craft Beer" Stand Is Owned By MillerCoors, And Half Of Them Aren't Actually Beers
I do not say this lightly: beer snobs might be the worst people in the world. But not even they deserve to be locked in Yankee Stadium for four hours, with the only unconventional option being this dinky and confused beer stand with four drinks on tap, all behemoth-brewed by the MillerCoors conglome...
Bubba Watson Has A Hovercraft Golf Cart
Bubba Watson continues to be the most made-for-the-internet golfer in America. He's taken some time off from dropping hip hop tracks to help develop the world's first golf cart that is also a hovercraft. We are glad that he has done this, because this hovercraft is awesome. ...
Andrew Wiggins Goes Between The Legs On Reverse 360 Dunk
This happened at yesterday's McDonalds All-American Dunk Contest. Despite not winning the contest, Maple Jordan nearly shut the gym down with this ridiculous dunk. ...
Report: James Dolan Fired A Security Guard Who Didn't Recognize Him Because James Dolan Is Awful
Knicks owner James Dolan is an asswipe and a schmuck, and according to the New York Post, he is also a giant asshole. A source tells the Post that this past Sunday, Dolan was denied access into the Delta Sky 360 club in Madison Square Garden by security guard Fiordaliza Hernandez because Dolan didn'...
The Mets Will Give You A Free Ticket For Following Them On Twitter
If you're following the Mets or SNY on Twitter, you saw a link to receive either a single free ticket, or 2-for-1 seats for this weekend's series against the Marlins. (The promotion is called, creatively and alternatively, "Tweet A Ticket" or, oh god, a "Twicket.") Except, if you know how Twitter wo...
She Don't Use Jelly, She Uses Tim Tebow And Dwyane Wade And LeBron Jam
Send stories, photos, and anything else you might have to [email protected]....
Matt Martin Knocks Out Tom Kostopoulos, Motions To Have Bench Collect Him
The Islanders beat the Devils 3-1 Monday night in New Jersey and continued an improbable, late-season push for a playoff spot. John Tavares scored his 22nd goal of the season, Evgeni Nabokov out-tended Martin Brodeur and the Islanders have now won four of their last five. ...
Referee Bill Kennedy Takes An Elbow To The Face
This happened right off the tip-off of tonight's Bucks-Bobcats game. Larry Sanders won the jump ball cleanly and on his way down, his elbow/forearm makes solid contact with Bill Kennedy's face....
Sweet Dreams, Dunk City: USC Reportedly Hires FGCU's Andy Enfield
According to Sports Illustrated, USC and Dunk City's own Andy Enfield have been negotiating a contract to bring him in as the next men's basketball coach and a deal is expected to be finalized soon....
Here's Rick Reilly On CNN Tonight Saying "Pimps Up, Hoes Down, Ass Up, Nose Down"
Rick Reilly dropped by CNN tonight to talk about who-gives-a-shit, and for some reason elected to give a performance of vile human being/alleged musician Chris Brown's music. It went as well as you think it would!...
Minor League Baseball Stadium Now Home To Two Ostriches
We got this press release earlier today and, man, it's great. The Reading Fightin Phils, the Phillies Double-A affiliate in Reading, Pennsylvania, just reached an agreement with an ostrich farm in New Jersey—which, what?— that will allow the team to keep two ostriches at the stadium....