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Derek Jeter Ass-Eating Gossip We Really Want To Be True
Today, a tipster sent us a bit of gossip about Derek Jeter's sex life that comes from what he claims to be a very reliable source. This gossip is likely no more true than similar stories we've come across in the past, but we really, really want it to be true. ...

That Stupid Derek Jeter Ad Will Make You Cry For America
On Thursday, The Gatorade Company Inc.—a marketing shop with a secondary concern in the manufacture and distribution of sweetened salt water—released an advertisement featuring Derek Jeter, one of the worst players in baseball....

James Dolan Is A Shitty Boss, Part 4,593
New York Knicks owner and crap-ass wannabe blues musician James Dolan tried to set some kind of world record for the most people playing kazoo in one room. He enlisted New York Knicks Amar'e Stoudemire and Carmelo Anthony, who would have probably rather been anywhere else, to help him lead the crowd...

A More Honest Version Of Gatorade's Derek Jeter Ad
The Internet's falling over itself today to provide yet another major corporation free advertising in the form of a Derek Jeter video. This one, from Gatorade, is similar to the Nike spot that ran during the All-Star Game; it, too, has some inaccuracies we felt the need to correct....

This Is The Best Fall Beer
You know how dickheads of a certain stripe like to accuse the rest of us decent and delicate folk of being "fake outraged" when we get offended by things like racist team names, sexist advertising, or casual child abuse? They are so certain of their wrong opinions that they cannot imagine that we ...

Brandon McCarthy Pitches Immaculate Inning, Breaks Season Record
Yankees pitcher Brandon McCarthy contributed to a broken MLB record tonight against the Rays when he tossed the sixth immaculate inning of the season. His effort broke the record for most immaculate innings in a season, set in 1998. The first five were pitched by Brad Boxberger, Cole Hamels, Jus...

Jon Stewart Murders NFL On Air; Goodell Asks Mueller To Investigate
Jon Stewart probably thought he was done with the NFL for a little while when he took them on a week ago, but here we are. The Minnesota Vikings suspending, then unsuspending, then suspending Adrian Peterson again caught The Daily Show's attention, and Stewart spent part of Wednesday night's sho...

Joe Girardi Says Rays Pitchers Aren't Good Enough To Safely Pitch Inside
The race for third place in the AL East is a snippy one, with the Ray's honoring Derek Jeter before last night's game, then clipping him with a fastball in on the hands. Afterward Joe Girardi blasted the Rays for hitting so many Yankees batters recently, but with a twist: instead of accusing them of...

Rays Gift Derek Jeter A Kayak, Fastball To The Hand; Benches Clear
Derek Jeter received a lot of gifts today. Before the game, the Tampa Bay Rays gave him a $16,000 donation to his foundation, a Don Zimmer jersey, and a pinstriped kayak. And in the eighth inning, Steven Geltz gave him a fastball to the elbow hand. You know, something to remember the Trop by....

Sandy Koufax: Jackie Robinson Tried To Make Things Easier For Me
The beauty of the Internet is that it offers up surprises and treats. Never know when you're going to find something worth remembering. I was toolin' around my Tumblr feed the other day when I ran across a beautiful illustrated piece by an artist named Katherine W. Wirick. Another talented picture-m...

Tony Stewart's Case Will Go To A Grand Jury
The Ontario County (N.Y.) District Attorney announced today that a grand jury will determine whether to bring charges against Tony Stewart, who fatally struck Kevin Ward Jr. with his car on Aug. 9....

The Eagles Know How To Use Darren Sproles
LeSean McCoy had a perfectly fine game against the Colts, pulling off a few jukes in open space that left jockstraps all over Lucas Oil Stadium, but the best Eagles running back last night was Darren Sproles. He made everyone wonder why the Saints let him go for a fifth-rounder....

I'm Giants Offensive Lineman Geoff Schwartz. Ask Me Stuff.
Geoff Schwartz is a six-year NFL veteran who currently plays guard for the New York Giants. He's waiting in the discussion section below to answer any questions you have for him. You can follow him on Twitter @GeoffSchwartz....

James Dolan And His Dopey Band Went On TV And Things Got Awkward
James Dolan went on Good Day New York this morning to talk about his corny-ass blues band and play multiple(!) songs in studio. He was on the show for so long, but the highlight of his appearance was when co-anchor Rosanna Scotto couldn't remember the name of Dolan's band while introducing them fo...

Why Did The Mets Briefly Drop The United Nations From Their Logo?
Illuminati-related? Probably not. (But probably.)...

Andrew Luck Doing Weird Things With His Mouth, In Extreme Slow Motion
We've pointed out here before that Andrew Luck is gross , but the Colts quarterback just keeps giving us reasons to make videos that will ruin your lunch....

Jacob DeGrom Ks Eight To Open Game, Tying Modern-Era Record
It hasn't been a great season for the Mets, who will miss the playoffs for the eighth consecutive season, but one of the bright spots has been pitcher/ Rookie of the Year candidate Jacob deGrom. His campaign got a serious boost tonight, when deGrom struck out the first eight batters he faced before...

Patriots Coach Bill Belichick Tongues His Girlfriend
Patriots head coach/dementor Bill Belichick kissed his girlfriend before yesterday's game against the Vikings, according to Bill Belichick's girlfriend's Instagram....

Here's What A 1943 NFL Tryout Invitation Looked Like
Reddit user "drepicgames" posted a letter belonging to his great-uncle Harold "Butch" Gutke. Dated April 30, 1943, it invites Gutke to come try out for "the New York Football Giants." ...