ew Page 2827 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

It's Still Too Soon To Tell Whether Junior Seau's Brain Had Been Damaged By Football
The major findings of Junior Seau's autopsy showed that he had no alcohol or drugs in his system at the time of his death. Oh, right: According to a headline trumpeted on CNN's website, Seau's brain also showed no sign of damage. Which must mean football's in the clear, right? Well, no. The medical ...

Everyone Hates Preseason Football, Except The 9.5 Million People Who Watched Colts-Steelers: TV Ratings, In Context
A weekly feature wherein we contextualize TV ratings for national sports broadcasts. Data via Nielsen and Sports Business Journal's John Ourand. Viewership numbers represent approximate number of persons tuned to a given program; ratings share refers to the percentage of all households using a telev...

Scottie Pippen's Porsche Had A Fender-Bender In Chicago Today
Scottie Pippen, who is totally not bankrupt, had a minor car accident on Chicago's Magnificent Mile this afternoon. According to our tipster, his Porsche collided with an Audi at the corner of Michigan and Chestnut (right across the street from the Hancock Center). Pippen stepped out to make a phone...

U.S. Open Ref Is Charged With Murdering Her Husband With A Coffee Mug
Lois Goodman is a 70-year-old tennis official. Earlier today, she was getting set to officiate U.S. Open qualifying matches out in Queens, but instead she was rerouted to a Manhattan jail. She's charged with bludgeoning her 80-year-old husband to death:...

Bart Scott Says Prince Amukamara Should Be Hazed More
Every morning, the fine folks at Sports Radio Interviews sift through the a.m. drive-time chatter to bring you the best interviews with coaches, players, and personalities across the sports landscape. Today: Rookies should probably stay away from Bart Scott....

Minnesota State Head Football Coach Busted On Child Porn Charges
Minnesota State head football coach Todd Hoffner faces child pornography charges after being booked by Eagle Lake cops at his home today. The Division II Mavericks' coach has been on administrative leave since Friday after university officials escorted him off the practice field....

Rhino Fart Just Demolishes Morning Newscast
Hoo boy, if you weren't watching Kickin' It With Kenny on today's Fox 8 Cleveland news, you missed out. Never fear: here's the moment when mama rhino Kibibbi let fly during her morning hosedown. That's 1.3 tons of rhino rumbling your speakers and sending reporter Kenny Crumpton into a giggle fit f...

Clinton Portis, Coach Janky Spanky, Sheriff Gonna Getcha, Southeast Jerome, Dolla Bill, Dr. Do Itch Big, Bro Sweets, Prime Minister Yah Mon, Bud Foxx, Coconut Jones, And Choo-Choo All Announce Their NFL Retirements
Clinton Portis, who last played through an injury-plagued year in 2010, will officially announce his retirement Thursday at a news conference at Redskins Park. Portis was fabulous for the better part of seven seasons in Denver and Washington, but his legacy might suffer from the fact that he played ...

Georgia May Have To Self-Report NCAA Violation After Dumbass Fan Calls Recruit
Steven Nelson is a cornerback for the College of the Sequoias, and as a three-star recruit on Rivals.com is one of the more anticipated juco transfers coming out after this season. He committed to Georgia back in February, but is keeping his options open and touring other interested schools. He repo...

Mike Francesa Is Back From Vacation And All He's Seeing Are "Lights Blinking On And Off"
Mike Francesa is back on the air this week after his annual insanely long summer break. It seems like he's a little grumpy about being back. Something something blinking lights? Headsets not working? Red lights on and off. Dear reader, today we got a look into Mike Francesa's soul....

Ask An Anonymous PR Guy About The Shady Work Of Being A Pro Athlete's Publicist
Gang, meet Anonymous PR Guy. Anonymous PR Guy, say hello to the gang. Anonymous PR Guy is an actual publicist for a handful of pro athletes, and in exchange for his anonymity, he's agreed to share a few stories with us about what his job is really like. We've always wondered, and now we know: He's a...

British Texas Rangers Fan Interviewed During Last Night's Broadcast Thinks The Team Is "Lovely Jubblies"
Jim Knox's interviews with fans during Texas Rangers telecasts have become a bit of legend around here, and he continued his streak of finding interesting individuals last night when he came across a boisterous Brit with a love for the Rangers. (We encourage you to Google 'Lovely Jubblies,' thoug...

"When I Get A Clear Shot...": 25 Years Ago, Dale Earnhardt Received This Death Threat For His Ornery Driving
On May 17, 1987, Dale Earnhardt Sr. and Bill Elliott swapped paint and made a place for themselves in NASCAR lore. The Winston, a newly created all-star race at Charlotte Motor Speedway, came down to a sprint, with Earnhardt and Elliott jockeying for the lead. After bumping and nudging for two laps,...

Here Are A Bunch Of Photos Of Tom Brady Being Weird With A Dog
Tom Brady didn't play in last night's Patriots-Eagles game, which means that New Englanders need to look elsewhere for their fill of the golden boy. He will not appear in WHDH b-roll, he will not call into Dennis & Callahan, he will not appear below the fold on the front page of the Hartford Courant...

The Genius Of <em>Enemy Of The State</em>, Tony Scott's Best Film
In the reaction to the sudden death of Tony Scott, a quick consensus emerged: Scott was a more interesting director than he'd been given credit for throughout his career; Top Gun and his general style helped usher in the age of Michael Bay and Olivier Megaton-ism; and the one movie everyone could ag...

What's ESPN Hiding Under Its Desk?
Yes, that's just a screen grab of Scott Van Pelt, Todd Blackledge, and Kirk Herbstreit on the air last night breaking down something or other about the upcoming college football season. But shift your gaze downward, toward the display ads on the front of the table at which they're sitting. The World...

Nothing Better Illustrates The Futility Of Replacement Refs Than This Video Of One Being Hit By A Football
Jerry Frump wore the white hat for last night's Patriots-Eagles preseason game, and like all of this year's replacement-refereed games it was a bit of a disaster for the zebras. While players openly voice concern for their health in games managed by scabs, the NFL seems perfectly content to head i...
![Little Leaguer: ESPN Changed My Player Bio To List My Favorite Show As <em>SportsCenter</em> Instead Of <em>The Dan Patrick Show</em> [UPDATE: It Was A Gag]](https://images.deadspin.com/tr:w-900/Image_Not_Found_1x_qjofp8.png)
Little Leaguer: ESPN Changed My Player Bio To List My Favorite Show As <em>SportsCenter</em> Instead Of <em>The Dan Patrick Show</em> [UPDATE: It Was A Gag]
Will Lucas from Fairfield, Conn., threw a no-hitter in the Little League World Series yesterday and was invited on the The Dan Patrick Show today to talk about it....

Why Your Team Sucks 2012: Detroit Lions
Some people are fans of the Detroit Lions. But many, many more people are NOT fans of the Detroit Lions. This 2012 Deadspin NFL team preview is for those in the latter group. Read the other Why Your Team Sucks 2012 previews here....

"They Represented Canada Well": Sad Things Said Yesterday By Managers Of Eliminated Little League Teams
The Little League World Series is going on, you realized over the weekend, as you scrolled through your digital cable guide. That means ESPN is lying about fastball velocities and kids' dreams are getting crushed. They will never become Chris Drury or Todd fucking Frazier. They'll just sit around, t...