ew Page 2933 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Swedish Soccer Fans Wake Up Opponents With 4 A.M. Fireworks Show
CSKA Moscow is in Stockholm to play AIK tonight, in the first leg of a Europa League qualifier, and the Russians were just trying to get a good night's rest. Enter AIK fans, who showed up outside CSKA's hotel in the middle of the night with flares, fireworks, whistles and car horns....

How Paralympians Cheat By Injuring Themselves
The Paralympics are legitimately inspiring—check this promo and you'll be ready to run through a wall—but they are, at the end of the day, athletes. For all the feel-good stories, they're just looking to win. And that means for the Paralympic Games what it's meant for every competition since the daw...

Why Your Website Sucks, By Minnesota Vikings Punter Chris Kluwe: A Rebuttal
Some people are fans of Deadspin's Why Your Team Sucks previews. But now the shoe's on the other foot! Suck on this, you cocksuckers....

Why Your Team Sucks 2012: Minnesota Vikings
Some people are fans of the Minnesota Vikings. But many, many more people are NOT fans of the Minnesota Vikings. This 2012 Deadspin NFL team preview is for those in the latter group. Read the other Why Your Team Sucks 2012 previews here. For a rebuttal, see Vikings punter Chris Kluwe's "Why Your Web...

Metta World Peace's <em>Yo Gabba Gabba!</em> Cameo Was As Odd As You'd Think
Having no children, I've never seen Yo Gabba Gabba! and did some research to find out what I've been missing. I think Drew pretty much nailed it back in 2009:...

The Soccer Fans Who Ought Least To Go Shirtless Always Do
The UEFA Champions League playoff is like a very long series of NCAA Play-In Games Opening Round Games; scrappy champions of small leagues and barely-qualified major league losers clash heads for the right to face the real "Champions" in the group stage....

Joe Girardi Confronted A Heckler During His Postgame Press Conference
Joe Girardi wasn't in the best of moods tonight after the Yankees lost 2-1 to the White Sox, so it's pretty understandable that he'd want to interrupt his postgame media gaggle to go beat the shit out of some Chicago heckler. Most impressive, though, is that Girardi comes back to the huddle and co...

"Cy-ber Young," A 200-Pound Robot, Threw Out Tonight's First Pitch In Detroit
When the robot army eventually rises up and enslaves all of Earth's citizens some years from now, I hope we all have the foresight to remember this day, when a 200-pound robot named "Cy-ber Young" took the mound at Comerica Park and showed that it could accurately hit a target with a baseball. It ...

Here's A Sneak Peek At A New Documentary On Knuckleball Pitchers
R.A. Dickey is one of the best stories in baseball this year, partly due to his singular, newfound success and the fact that he's doing it in a way different from every single other big league pitcher. As fate would have it, documentarians Anne Sundberg and Ricki Stern shadowed Dickey and Tim Wake...

ESPN's Dan Dakich Says West Virginia's Former President Once Threatened To "Destroy" Him
Sunday's New York Times featured a lengthy story about Jonathan Hargett, a playground legend from Richmond who's now in prison on drug charges, years after his brief college basketball career at West Virginia never panned out. Hargett played at WVU in 2001-02, and an in-house investigation done at t...

Mike Birbiglia's <em>Sleepwalk With Me</em> And The Art (And Agony) Of Stand-Up Comedy
I'm in awe of stand-up comics....

Local Virgins Say Tim Tebow May Be Able To Remain A Virgin In New York, Reports <em>NYT</em>
The sports section of today's New York Times busied itself with yet another important journalism project on the topic of Tim Tebow's virginity. Tebow himself, however, was "unavailable for comment," so Times writer Bob Tedeschi did the next most logical thing: He tracked down a handful of young NYC...

Chelsea Beats Reading Thanks To Ludicrous Blown Offside Call
Chelsea dashed the dreams of an upset-minded Reading when a clearly offside Fernando Torres broke through to give the Blues a lead today at Stamford Bridge they wouldn't relinquish....

Scott Pioli Says He's Happy To Be Rid Of Todd Haley In The Most Passive-Aggressive Way Possible
This story was published Friday evening, so it fell a bit below our radar. But it's still worth sharing because, well ... you'll see. It involves Chiefs general manager Scott Pioli, and his take on training camp now that Todd Haley is no longer the team's head coach. Oh, wait. Pioli doesn't really s...

32 Paragraphs About 32 NFL Teams From The <em>Football Outsiders Almanac 2012</em>
The following is excerpted from the team chapters of the always-excellent Football Outsiders almanac. Buy the PDF for $12.50 or order the printed book from Amazon....

Minnesota State Head Football Coach Todd Hoffner Reportedly Booked For "Using Minors In A Sexual Performance"
The possible charges for Minnesota State head football coach Todd Hoffner continue to grow as the Mankato Free Press is now reporting he's been booked on requested charges of using minors in a sexual performance....

Bristolmetrics: The Jets Are America's Team, According To Tebow-Horny <em>SportsCenter</em>
This is a regular feature breaking down, minute-by-minute, the content that appears on ESPN's 11 p.m. edition of SportsCenter throughout the week....

Bartolo Colon-O-Meter: Who Will Tell The Children?
Last season, we learned that a fat guy who throws a baseball was much more than a fat guy who throws a baseball—the pitching performances of Bartolo Colon were nothing less than an ongoing assay of the human condition. One bad start against the Toronto Blue Jays was a sign that we live in a world wi...

Press Conference By Lawyers For Former Penn State President Graham Spanier Was An Exercise In Bullshit
As expected, the blame-shifting from those at Penn State implicated by the Freeh report has begun. Lawyers for Graham Spanier, the university president fired last November in the wake of the Jerry Sandusky scandal, held a press conference in Philadelphia this morning to try and explain their client'...

Mr. Sports Journo, Twitter's Favorite Anonymous Sportswriter, Is Here To Take Your Questions
Twitter is a medium tailor-made for unfiltered opinions and anonymity, and Mr. Sports Journo has excelled in cornering both areas while maintaining an air of mystery going on two years. We don't know who he is (although we certainly have our suspicions). All anyone seems to truly know about him—and...