ew Page 3029 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Twitter Aficionado Osi Umenyiora Promises To Buy Lawrence Taylor's Super Bowl Ring If He Gets One Million Followers
This Osi Umenyiora guy is a weird cat. A week after calling LeSean McCoy a woman on twitter as an insult, he is now pledging to buy Lawrence Taylor's 1991 Super Bowl ring that is currently being auctioned off, but only if he gets one million followers. Initially he said the millionth follower would...

Today In Bizarrely-Priced Tickets From Wisconsin Police: Softball Coach Gets $177 Citation For Cursing At Players
An insidious trend is developing in Wisconsin. First it was Montee Ball and his $429 ticket for trespassing at a block party. Now comes news that the varsity softball coach at Oconta Falls high school, Dawn Larsen (not pictured), was given a $177 citation after a parent complained about her potty m...
![UFC Star Jon "Bones" Jones Arrested For DUI, Wrecks His Bentley [UPDATED]](https://images.deadspin.com/tr:w-900/17n4v61e21lmtjpg.jpg)
UFC Star Jon "Bones" Jones Arrested For DUI, Wrecks His Bentley [UPDATED]
According to the dogged sleuths at TMZ, Jon Jones was involved in a single car accident around 5 this morning when he wrapped his Bentley around a pole in Binghamton, N.Y. He was reportedly arrested on the scene for driving under the influence and taken into custody. He was bailed out a few hours l...

Wes Welker Drops The Contract Negotiations Have "Gotten Worse" Routine
The Wes Welker contract negotiation is becoming a sticky situation. Earlier in the week, Welker let off some steam when he told reporters contract negotiations had gotten worse with the Patriots. The Patriots then leaked word that they were pissed with Welker for going public. Now Welker is saying ...

Idiot Runs On Field In San Francisco, Tries To Scale Outfield Wall, Fails Miserably
It's time once again to feature the mentally challenged and/or substance-abuse-impaired knuckleheads who jump over the fence and run around on the field of play at sporting events. Today we find ourselves in lovely San Francisco as fans take in the Athletics-Giants game....

Youth Lax-ers Have Absurd Bench Clearing Brawl In Front Of Tens Of People
Here's a ridiculous lacrosse fight you might not have seen yet. Somewhere in Canada, youth Lacrosse Team A was getting destroyed by Lacrosse Team B and decided to send the message that it would no longer take Team B's shit....

Was Pat Burrell Dancing Shirtless In A Philly Bar Last Night?
That's the rumor out of Philadelphia this morning and we'd love to hear more information if you've got it. We'd especially love pictures. Delicious, shirtless (with possible blazer combo), dancing pictures....

Gangrenous, Flesh-Eating Penis Infection Results In Most Harrowing Paragraph Ever
I'm not sure if we can technically call this "Deadspin XY" anymore but just suspend your disbelief for a bit, it's the only way I can legitimize writing about it. Enrique Milla has sued an anesthesiologist in Miami for failing to recognize he was a surgical risk due to uncontrolled diabetes. What d...

High School Ace Strikes Out Five—<i>In One Inning</i>
La Crescent senior pitcher Eric Veglahn was already having a pretty solid game before he set a Minnesota state record by striking out five batters in the same inning last month. Heading into the seventh inning, Veglahn had eight strikeouts when he decided to try and double his tally in one inning....

Calvin Johnson Goes Yard At Comerica Park
Fine, it was during batting practice—if you want to get technical about it—but impressive nonetheless for the Lions freakishly talented wide receiver. According to Johnson his power display was no fluke, he was approached by the Reds while in high school before he committed to Georgia Tech and foot...

Which One's The Crackpot? Which One's The Lesbian? Know Your Rickettses, The Politically Active Cubs Owners
The newspaper headlines make it seem like the Chicago Cubs owner is up to no good. "Cubs Owner Ricketts' Anti-Obama Ad Proposal Risks Stadium Growth." "Report: Emanuel 'livid' with Cubs owner after soliciting Jeremiah Wright attack ad proposal." Sounds like this Mr. Ricketts has really vexed some fo...

LaDainian Tomlinson Is "95 Percent Retired"
Every morning, the fine folks at Sports Radio Interviews sift through the a.m. drive-time chatter to bring you the best interviews with coaches, players, and personalities across the sports landscape. Today: And five percent willing to come back for a ring....

Dead Letters: You Crossed A Major Line This Week, Canine Hitler
Subject: Racism and Pit Bulls...

"The Kings Have The Ball": More Hockey Coverage From Los Angeles
You do have to feel for FOX 11's newslady. Hockey highlights are tough if you've never watched a hockey game. Kopitar and Doughty aren't easy names to pronounce. But in the wake of another LA station's Kings ignorance, it's entirely possible that a team is going to win a Stanley Cup without anyone...

Oh Good, Curt Schilling's Company Is Going To Get More Help From The State
When last we left 38 Studios, Curt Schilling's beleaguered video games company, they had failed to pay their employees and bounced a loan repayment check to Rhode Island. Today they tried again, and they scraped together enough cash to cover their late $1.125 million payment—only with the help of a ...

Will Smith Has Left And Gone Away
When did you first realize that the Fresh Prince could legitimately act? Like, in the big leagues? For once in my life, I was on the early part of the curve; my college newspaper assigned me, a green freshman, a review of Six Degrees of Separation, John Guare's adaptation of his own play about a fan...

Here's Kerry Wood's Emotional Exit From Baseball, After One Final Strikeout
We reported earlier today Cubs pitcher Kerry Wood is retiring from baseball, but the oft-injured hurler promised to make one last appearance before hanging up his cleats. That appearance came today, and it was in a legitimate spot; down 3-2 in the eighth, Wood relieved starter Jeff Samardzija and pr...

Newspaper Reporter Fired For Leaving In Bit About "Coach's Bullshit And Laziness"
Wasn't that a fun time, when a reporter at a little Louisiana newspaper accidentally left in some dummy text that made it to print. Oh, we all had a guffaw or two, yes we did. But then we moved on....

Big 12, SEC Join Forces For Transparently Money-Grubbing New Year's Day Bowl
It's been a busy offseason for the Big 12 and the SEC. Both added two new teams to their conferences—the Big 12 replaced Texas A&M and Missouri, who defected to the SEC, with TCU and West Virginia—and their commissioners, Chuck Neinas and Mike Slive, shilled for the new four-team playoff that will f...

Idea For Disney Film About Pittsburgh Pirates: <em>Feces In The Outfield</em>
A sewer line underneath PNC Park clogged, presumably with semi-digested Primanti Bros. sandwiches and broken dreams. Workers had to dig a hole in the outfield to get at the pipes, and will presumably have it repaired before the Bucs return from a road trip and Andrew McCutchen plunges into a chest-d...